Venue: Gourmet Burger Kitchen, London
Character: Porkie, Claudine, Chris, Cheesie
Prop: Oversized burger, oversized burger, oversized burger and oversized burger

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I’m writing this article about what not to order on the first dinner date. And i think i should put GBK burger in the list.

 

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I don’t understand why oversized burgers exist in the first place. It makes whoever is eating it look like a chowhound. *insert cannibal guffaws*

Maybe that’s because i stay in Malaysia. The Londoners like Porkie Claudine Chris have no problem wolfing down the humongous monstrosity.

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Why oh why. It sure looks delicious i know i know. The melting cheese is oozing out i know i know. You’re hungry i know i know.

 

But how am i going to stuff something that is five times the diameter of my ingestion orifice in?

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It’s impossible to eat a GBK without any of the following embarrassment: leaking, spilling, dripping, splattering, dropping or have ketchup and mustard stretched all across your cheeks.

So totally not sexy. I wonder how Paris Hilton did it. Seriously.

 

But some of my friends are apparently quite professional at burger eating.

 

This is Porkie the burger expert’s burger
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Neatly cut into quarters.

 

This is Claudine’s burger.
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She squeezed it so perfectly, bit into it so gracefully without any grease squirting onto her face.

 

This is Chris the Shawarma master.
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He’s fantasizing himself transforming into a killim, sawing strips of meat off a gigantic beef skewer with the aid of cutlery. It worked fine, albeit eccentric.

 

 

Last but not cheese.

 

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Eating an oversized burger. Cheesie style. Yes i’d like another new napkin please, thank you very much.

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