%@&^@$#!!

July 24, 2008 in Commercial Break

I hate it when people say women are using PMS as an excuse to all bad behaviors. You think period pain and mood swings and headache and stomach cramps and acne right above your nose and sore breasts and bloated tummy and anxiety and the subconscious urge to sarcastically insult others and the incessant need for vulgarity spitting and the endless craving for nacho cheese all happen so coincidentally in one week is it.

 

I had a discussion with my bestestie about ways to relieve PMS Symptoms. Here.

1. Blog about it, evidently as you may see.
2. Go around slapping random people.
3. Release wild bees up someone’s nostril. Those insensitive clogs just can’t understand PMS!
4. Transform into a puffer fish and commit hara-kiri. Make sure the knife stabs right through the bloated stomach. Extra credit for having a hungry Japanese around.
5. Collect torture subjects (insects and small furry animals are good ones) and run a torture marathon.
6. For example pluck a parrot’s feathers.
7. Or fly a dragonfly as kite.
8. Or snip off black ants’ antennas and watch them fight.
9. Or rub a garden snail with salt and pepper. Serve it to unsuspecting French tourist as local version of their priced cuisine.
10. Lure a pussy cat into house. Close the door then release Cheddie.
11. Leave nasty comments on bimbo blogs anonymously calling her a fake bitch (wa now I know why I get so many hits regularly).
12. Write defamatory blog posts about Dawn Yang.
13. Punch Xiaxue’s nose.
14. Dang everyone on Nuffnang Innit.
15. Ask indon maid to wash the toilet with a tooth brush.
16. Exhaust the remote control batteries by channel flipping.
17. Press all the floor numbers before leaving an elevator.

 

 

But none of the above works because i’d either be stoned to death by PETA activists or trapped under a truckload of lawsuits or have died before I can get my next PMS.

So I’ve decided to try out an alternative to the above 1-17 options. It’s called Nuvafemme.

It is a premium-grade soy extract supplement that balances out fluctuating hormones, making life less painful and significantly reducing intolerable rage blackouts, diminishing the number of angry posts on your blog.

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Taking Nuvafemme on a regular basis may shorten the menstruation period from 5-7 days to 2-3 days. Which saves you tons of money buying sanitary pads and Patchi chocolates.

 

Apart from alleviating all kinds of PMS agony, Nuvafemme also claims to give:

1) Beautiful radiant looking skin
2) Stronger denser bones
3) Firmer larger breast (!)

*grin*
*grin*
*grin*

The active ingredient in Nuvafemme, genistein, mimics the effect of the female hormone, estrogen. This will stimulate the development of breast to give a fuller and firmer bust-line.

As Nuvafemme contains natural ingredients, it doesn’t give immediate results of implant surgery. Most women will see dramatic changes in 3 – 6 months of consuming Nuvafemme.

Nuvafemme is available for sale in all Pharmacy stores in Malaysia (Caring Pharmacy, Guardian Pharmacy,Vitacare Pharmacy, Watson’s Personal Care Stores and now Sasa).

More info please visit http://nuvafemme.my/blog/

If next month, you find a steadily decreasing number of posts that demonstrate my wrath as the ruler of all that is evil, you will know that i’ve just restocked a few cartons of Nuvafemme. Thank you. Now where’s the garden snail?

59 people cheesed “%@&^@$#!!”

  1. 1st!!

  2. Thank god I’m a man!
    *
    *
    *No Wait….

    argggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  3. 3rd 3rd…. take calcium magnesium!

  4. Ying Bin Sousa says:

    Hey dear,let me know if u really find it effective,ok?I might buy it when I’m back! :)

  5. hahahaha dawn yang =P

  6. anonymous says:

    very immature abt the options and enuf with the advertising already

  7. get some exercise and you’ll do fine! trust me, i’m a woman. lady i mean.

  8. Things with hormones in it are bad. It might cause breast cancer or ovarian cancer in the long run. Actually I’m not sure but when i was in form 4, my bio teacher said it. She said women like to take hormone pills to reduce the effect of menopause and it’s bad so I assume that taking any form of hormones might be risky in some ways?

  9. i pity the garden’s snail

  10. what a way to torture cheddie! lol

  11. have u done enough research this time to make sure that this product doesn’t harm one’s health? supplements are not Oreos.

    as far as i am concern, by taking hormones, or hormones supplements like this, your body will reduce it’s ability to produce hormones by itself because you’re feeding it already.

    Body ‘thinks’ too, like how u’d gain more weight by skipping meals because ur body stock up even more fat when u eat the next meal due to basic suvivial instinct.

  12. Idontwanttobename says:

    hey girl…how much is it?? and yeah, have u done enough research to make sure its really safe to take it on a daily basics?
    besides, are they just like Diane-35? i know taking too many hormone pills may result to alot of side effect in the future…

    altho, when u mentioned it can increase breast size…im super tempted lor.hahaha

  13. Like sharon, I pity the garden snail *LOL*

  14. can man take ah? since it does firming .

  15. can i increase two cup sizes ah wtf sounds like a good med! =)

  16. No wonder you are acting weird with the joker face , cat fight ,…. bla blah…..
    err..

    maybe after taking the Nuvafemme thingy more than few times, you can be your normal self again errr…. which is good thingy

    Pity that garden snail , it is a innocent thingy Really ! : P

  17. Can anyone verify the breast part? He….He…..

  18. anon: 17th!!!
    jef: buy for GF la. hehe
    yawn: one thing at a time!
    ying bin: i just only started, let you know!
    abby: hahaha abby :P

  19. anonymous: hohoho. i love this kind of comment. here’s a thing hor, listen. I hope you don’t have a blog. And if u have a blog (which you are too chicken to post here), i hope i don’t see any ads on it. period. (Oh yea i do hope you get period)

  20. yling: i’m picking up swimming d~
    Someone: Eh then what to do when menopause comes? What’s the correct medication because i know i lot of women in their middle age and it’s really a painful stage to go through, almost impossible without medical help. :(
    sharon: go eat escargot! hehe
    Ky: trust me i didn’t know she is that chicken
    jamie: haha i’m not taking it like i take oreos la. thanks for the advice
    Idontwanttobename: eh you oredi know the price you’re faster than me!
    ahlost: jom let’s go freach cuisine today.
    aeroplane1234: eh they say cannot.
    sweatlee: hahhaha hows ur PMS hahaha
    Spectre: is liddat lo not easy to be a girl leh.

  21. aisheh… none of the above works best if you’ve someone there to accompany you and to have you in his arms… ^_^

  22. at first i tot the objective of the post is to release stress caused by PMS, then came this product…

    sounds good, can buy for my gf, she’s suffering from the same symptoms as you leh, and will resort to more extreme and violent approaches to release her stress (mainly on me).
    :D

  23. “shorten the menstruation period from 5-7 days to 2-3 days”??
    wahh.. good! can hv sex sooner now. KIDDING!! no lahh.. its a good thing like that especially when we are having menses and traveling at the same time!! very mafan like that.
    but how regular IS regular leh??

  24. dun simply advertised for health care supplements.. u dun even know the side effects of the drug… what if some females taken it later on develop hersutism?? or cancer ??
    drugs that shortens the period is not good.. 5-7 days of menstration is normal .. . u wont wanna simply alter it.

  25. oh…i’ve done numbers 7 and 17 before…… :
    honest….i really did do it

  26. best thing is to consult doctors! It’s dangerous to simply take supplement!

  27. Available at all pharmacies?

  28. sounds like a product innocent girls WILL get as the therapeutic effects of it sounds very appealing, especially breast enlargement… But as far as I know, consumption of synthetic hormones give you a higher risk of breast cancer…

    I google searched this product and seems to me it is very new. Which means not much clinical studies on it, which means very doggy…

  29. Your blog is amazing. Not only we men get some knowledge of our womens’ “thingy” but also to improve them. btw, just got back from visiting a gynaecologist with my wife due to her period problems (not consistant). Any meds for this?

  30. To alleviate Pre Menstrual Syndrome one should have more Pre Marital Sex.

  31. yaa, be careful of promoting supplements :( later something goes wrong you’ll be held reponsible >.>

    but if dont have side effects and can increase BOOBS SIZE, why not !!

    HAHAHAHA /runs.

  32. Hey, this Nuvafemme, is it a Birth Control Pill?

    Birth control pills Do shorten period days to 2-3days and give bigger boobs and give flawless complexion too and acts as a birth contraception.

    So im thinking that maybe Nuvafemme is a birth control pill too??

  33. i’d suggest all those who have burning questions just go check out the nuvafemme website…cheesie is merely one of us..hoping to put an end to her PMS woes..go get the info from the makers themselves la..it’s the age of the internet…GOOGLE IT!

  34. People. This, is an advertorial.

    If you have any doubts, please email Nuvafemme. You don’t ask VOGUE editor if SKII causes skin cancer do you. Thank you.

  35. try alkalizing your body( eat more green foods), you might be amazed.

  36. LOL! punch xiaxue’s nose!! i think xiaxue will like chop off all my hair and torture me before killing me if i do that!

    cheesie be careful k, if this product is like unreliable and harms people or something then people may blame you (and other bloggers if have)! so dawn yang.

  37. cheesie:
    of coz we wont ask VOGUE editior about their product coz to the general public VOGUE is just a “media” , a “magazine”…
    But to us u are a person, a fren(sorta)..a blogger that blogs about true real stuff..real events in her life…(not just for commercial purpose)becoz of that the stuff u said are (kinda) more personalize and carry more weight :) hence,people react to the things u said and information u give…get it?

  38. *patpat* it’ll be over soon!

  39. Maybe people should take what is written with a pinch of salt? If something happens when you take it.. I’m sorry, I don’t see why Cheesie should be held responsible. You made the conscious decision to take it. She didn’t force you to take it nor buy it.

    snooty makea a great point aout finding information on it – “it’s the age of the internet…GOOGLE IT!”

  40. Menstruation lasts 5-7 days? All my ex gfs has been more like 2-3 days, 4 days max. I have been misled for my entire sexual life!

  41. Huai Bin,
    How many ex-gfs are we talking about?

  42. I’m so glad you’re talking about Nuvafemme.

    I have been taking it for 6 months now.. and hey trust me it works!

    I have checked with my Gynae and he also suggest that its good as long as it is not a drug and is totally natural you need not worry about it.

    Ohh.. and now my husband can’t keep his hands off me. Our intimate session used to be 2 times a week now its 5 times!! *grin* grin*

  43. Ooo…%@&^@*$#1!!…wahaha! ..what a post title!

  44. Hey cheesie.

    Are you sure that the product you are advertising is registered with the Ministry of Health?

    If not, you may be breaking the law by advertising for an illegal product.

    In addition to that, advertising for any pharmaceutical product requires a license from the Ministry of Health.

    Just please make sure you’re not accidentally breaking the law in any way ya?

    A friendly note of caution from a pharmacist in the government.

  45. how much is it?

  46. Mark – so you are saying it may be illegal for Cheesie to advertise on her blog yet not illegal for Watsons, Guardian, Caring, Vitacare etc to sell? Whatever..

  47. OverPORKtective says:

    porkie: what is wrong with u??being over protective for cheesie in her own blog will not get u anywhere near her! ! !
    my goodness… mark and kelv was just being frenly(giving a frenly advise to chessie),but must u be so sensitive all the time!????u are damn IRRITATING…how do u expect cheesie to be fond of u??!

  48. Actually, what I’m saying is that if the product is illegal and everyone advertising it is actually guilty of a crime…yes, including all the pharmacies mentioned.

    However, assuming if the product is legal, advertising a pharmaceutical product that claims to remedy a human condition or cause changes in the human body requires a license from the Ministry of Health…which is why you see KKLIU numbers under most medicinal advertisments.

    But hey, like overporktective said, I’m just giving a friendly word of caution.

    Cheers

  49. OverPORKtective – mark and kelv? You are kelv..stop trying to make out you’re someone else. (Been told by someone its you so don’t go denying it – hey maybe I should ask Cheesie to post what email your name is registered with?). It’s rather cowardly and LAME to try defend yourself using another name and talk as if you’re a different person.

    Can’t get anywhere near her? Damn.. so that’s why I couldn’t meet her while I was back in Msia is it? Oh wait, I did meet her!
    I’m irratating? That’s a good one. You’re just as, if not more irratating.

    By the way, thank you for your much more mature reply Mark.

  50. Only sad losers post using different names trying to stick up for themselves. Makes you look rather schizophrenic.

  51. sorry to spoil this though… i think this nuvafemme works somehow like the Pill… except i guess this Nuvafemme does not prevent pregnancy… By taking the prevent pregnancy pills also does have the same effect… but a plus point to me is that, i dont have to worry about being pregnant… lol… But of cuz, i took the pill for the purpose of regulating my period cycles, no more period pains, no pms, breast does not feel tender…

    But bear in mind, as i understand, the prevent pregnancy pills have different effects on different people… some gain weight taking it… but i lose weight taking it… :D :D :D but now no longer takes it ler… cuz, urmmm… im single already… lol…

  52. How has this become a debate over a person? Personal attacks over a menstrual product HAHAHA.

    And yaaaaaa, I think it’s very likely the product is illegal and has an official website AND even though its illegal right, they went and contacted a blogger (who they prolly know have a lot of hits in the first place so the whole wide world can read about their illegal product and get their asses hauled off to jail) to write an advertorial for them.

    YAAA MAN. Thats SOOO likely, why didn’t I see that coming.

    WTF. *bang head* now I know why so many doctors kill more patients than curing them.

  53. Poor Cheeserland…

    She’s being bombared with all these legality issue.. Wonder when someone talks about sensitive issue in politics, the blogger gets such ‘warning’. *wink*

    Anyway, Nuvafemme is a good product and I have many friends and colleagues who are taking it.

    Good work Cheeserland! Your blog is really cool!! Keep it up!

  54. HHhmmm… Period Pain/PMS is a REALLY SERIOUS ISSUE!! Look at the response you’re getting Cheeserland!!

    Hhahahha…..

  55. choco hoho…very sarcastic nia…haha…

  56. urm… actually, my bio teacher 2 years ago said she’s doing the menopause thing naturally cuz there’s nth to be afraid bout menopause…. that’s what she said… haahhahahah… lolz…

    I’m still young…

  57. Cheesie, my mom takes Nuvafemme. According to the pharmacist, Nuvafemme is for those above 50-years old and those approaching or experiencing menopause.

  58. Chinadoll says:

    Jase… are you sure it’s for women above 50s?

    Just checked the company’s website, Daphne Iking just celebrated her 30th birthday and she’s loving it!

    The website I checked is http://nuvafemme.my/blog

    Which pharmacy is that??

  59. Chinadoll says:

    Woww……

    The website has a Video interview with Daphne Iking…

    Check it out! She’s hot!

    Website is http://nuvafemme.my/blog

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