I have an alligator in my kitchen sink.

February 19, 2009 in Eccentric Ringoism

I reckoned after so many yummy pictures of good food, it’s only fair i make you lose appetite.

fuckenlizard by you.

It was the most disturbing thing i’ve ever seen in a kitchen sink.

The bugger was obesely pregnant. Its body was smooth and translucent with glowing pink intestines and wait a minute is that a freaking lizard egg?!?

And i suddenly thought of Xiaxue’s dramatic hatred for lizards and feeling extremely empathetic. They are srsly like one of the most disgusting things on earth.

So the fella won’t go anywhere except lying still like a corpse in my kitchen sink because i think it was too fat until cannot move and was about to give birth (what turf!!!) and i dunno what to do with it!!! 

If i went kacao it it might go crazy and jump all over me, which i’d rather die than to experience. If i don’t do anything to it it might just die there judging from its immobility, which means i would still have to pick it up anyhow. Just that i couldn’t decide which is more gross—-picking up a lizard that pretends to be a corpse or picking up an actual lizard corpse.

 

Now Typing this alone make me geli until i get goose bumps all over. My skin feels exactly like it has been crawled all over by a cold lizard, if i’m allowed to explain a tragedy with another tragedy.

 

So Ching came over for swim and she was like what turf is this lizard doing in your kitchen sink? I was like what turf do you think it is doing? It’s going to turfing die there and she was like, THROW IT AWAY LA and i was like HOW TO THROW A TURFING LIZARD AWAY!

(She thinks lizards are like rubbish!!!)

So she said, give me a piece of tissue. And i gave her a piece of tissue.

Then she picked the lizard up with the piece of tissue and flushed it down the toilet.

Just like that.

With hand.

Then we went to the mall and had Oyster mee suah for lunch.

So i was texting this friend about the disturbing alligator in my kitchen sink. And he dared me to pick up a pair of scissors and cut the fella into half  on the tummy for RM500 (of course this is a pseudo dare, we outdare each other all the time.)

“You must look at the lizard in the eye while doing it the honor,” said the friend.

I went all wobbly and weak. 

Ching said she would do it for RM500. So the friend upped the dare (hypothetical of course) to RM1,000 and asked her to do the following. This is his sms, verbatim.

Cut half, ‘juet’ (suck) all the juice and colon inside, cannot rinse mouth with water for one hour. Then say ‘i love yim se (lizard in cantonese)’ . 1k.

And that time i was having my wonderful meal. My stomach flipped. I texted him back.

 

We were eating mee suah. The oh tasted exactly like what you describe. Like lizard egg. I hate you.

 
null
lizard eggs.

Geez. Thanks.

You have no idea how geli it is to write this post. This is harder to write than advertorials. Every sentence i geli one time. I hope you feel equally geli reading it.

99 responses to “I have an alligator in my kitchen sink.”

  1. estherlei says:

    The mee suah really looks disgusting.

  2. mimid3vils says:

    Oh My Godness!!!! I hate/ scare lizard coz it was in my cloths when I wake up one day, shit!!!

  3. vkeong says:

    yeah it’s pretty geli. plus, the oysters in the mee suah sure don’t look appetizing..

  4. Ping Ping says:

    U r braver than me. To take picture of it. I would start crying or go all grumpy if i see it from afar. I have a lot in my hostel room and I’ve had sleepless night over it (not over assignments. =P)

    I always turned extra grumpy if I see lizards anywhere near me, cursing them under my breath. There’s once in my hostel, I saw a HUGE lizard almost fell down onto my bed and I screamed, running out of my room. I’ve got my neighbours shouting from inside their room, asking me if I saw lizards. So my fear for lizards has gone ‘international’. In my hostel that is.

  5. ςarmзи™ says:

    THAT.

    WAS.

    Sickening.

    omg -_-

  6. Jake Lo says:

    OMG…
    By the way, the lizard would probably be squirming if you cut it in half.

  7. Pick it up and cut it can, but suck on it? OMB.

    I have a picture of the lizard’s tail squirming about by itself now.

    Thanks R.

  8. ShaolinTiger says:

    HAHAHAHAHAh 1K, not quite worth it la.

  9. sam says:

    eww, that would creep me out…both lizard and mee suah.

  10. Robb says:

    i agree with gareth. too little to compensate for potential food poisoning.

  11. zachary says:

    u got a veri mind-sickening fren there.. i mean the fella who sms-ed u..
    well, lucky me coz i’m a vegetarian.. so i wont feel so geli bout those “oh” coz i’m gonna eat them anyway.. ha~!

  12. racheal tan says:

    Damn! This is superb geli sial! Yucks!
    *my goose bump rose while reading ur post

  13. Oli says:

    The only disgusting thing is that you’d eat it without proper dressing. Lézard au gratin would be my personal choice.

  14. julian says:

    Argh I have to forget about this quickly, otherwise cannot eat fishball ever again!

  15. xiawa says:

    lizard is the most disgusting thing in the world
    yuckkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ps: i can’t believe i finish reading this entry =_= i hate lizard!!!

  16. Chriso says:

    mee suah ala lizard sounds awesome 😛

  17. littlecicak says:

    Oh! It’s cicak! Haha. This is definitely ugly, mine looks better.

  18. Ying Bin says:

    I hate lizards,they r very geli.

    There was once a chameleon on my shoulder when I woke up from my nap,was totally stunned. :X

  19. Ying Bin says:

    Not my pet,no,was an intruder.

  20. Maianra says:

    I never really hate lizard, but touching it is a big no no. ^^

  21. kimberly says:

    And just this morning some baby lizard fell on me. Btw! I saw u on cleo feb!!

  22. pinksterz says:

    true! Lizards are the most digusting thing ever. Last time i found this super huge ugly one in my bathroom i finished a whole tin of aerosol to kill it. Then i poured boiling hot water on it. Thrice. Hah!

  23. michiika says:

    urgh.. I kept imagining if the lizard was cut into half.. omg disgusting @_@ I hate lizards too but not to the extend of screaming or jumping up and down.. My house is like a lizard’s nest -_- Every night I see tonnes of lizards running around my floor.. =__= I fear I might step them. Though, I stepped one before @_@ gross !!

    • yumii says:

      yea yea, i remember your house punya lizards different from other lizards wan!!! >.< where got lizards like floor one????!!!

      I hate seeing lizards tail wiggling after it drop!! AND I DON’T EVEN WANT TO IMAGINE IF IT”S CUT INTO HALF!!! uwahhhhhhh!!!!

  24. debra fong says:

    OMG SHIH LIN OYSTER MEE SUA: )

    orgasmic stuff:D:D:D

  25. j says:

    I dont find cicak anywhere near the eww factor…
    The eww-er insects are…spider,cockroach, flea,housefly and mosquito…
    poor cicak do humans no harm no?

  26. jk says:

    i geli and laughing. my abang asked me why i laughing… i tell him so geli and laugh sumore.:P
    he bz do off wrk on laptop and dunno what i talk.

  27. cathj says:

    OMG!!!!!!!! I hate lizard!!!!!!!!! I hate lizard!!!!! I hate lizardddddddddddddddd……… (so sorry for those who love this animal/creature… I just can’t help it… and the pic you show…soooo damn BIGggggggg…………ewwwwwwwwww………. (But no matter how I hate this creature… I will never have a heart to operate the stomach..lol…. but I will do the part with the tissue…but not into the toilet bowl..never knw this creature will suddenly pop out when we were sitting on it….lol…..)

  28. fiona says:

    it was revolting all right. luckily i have eaten so much earlier before now or i would have puke right here right now. super yucky!!

  29. cheesie says:

    I’m considering taking this post down!!!! BECAUSE!

    Cindy Tey to me
    show details 11:00 PM (0 minutes ago)

    Reply

    dear girl, i dare not read your blog for once! i m sked of lizards!!! i tried but daren’t dare to wait 4 em’ pictures to load.

    haiyoh, why lizards. WHY?????????? ):

    u di mana sekarang? This Saturday goin to KLCC Apartment’s gathering thingy onot?

    xoxo,
    Cin D.

  30. Jeremy says:

    Lol, can see the ribcage of the lizard, seems like it has not eaten for a long time. I just can’t stand the lizard falling off the wall and making a *piak* sound. Terkejut everytime 😀

    P.s. Wah the oyster does look a bit like an egg (but not telling what egg is that XD)

    • cheesie says:

      PIAK!

      HAHAHAHAHHA why you so funny one!

      • Ping Ping says:

        Actually that was the reason why I am afraid of lizards wor. Cuz I’ve seen MANY of them falling down from ceiling to people’s head ah, or fall down onto the floor and like run aimlessly TOWARDS ME or fall upside down and trying it’s best to flip over and causing more ‘piak’ ‘piak’ ‘piak’ sound. Horrors!!!

  31. Charlene says:

    I slept on a lizard once. When I woke up in the morning, it was as flat as a pancake. Another time, it dropped on my head when I closed my bedroom curtain 🙁

  32. Tian Chad says:

    Why everyone is scared of lizards? ;p
    Besides it is cold and soft, what else would it do? Haha

  33. Chloe says:

    the mee sua is nice tho! I lm lovin it!

  34. tzia says:

    o gosh. i experienced the same thing too.
    but instead of tissue, my friend used a plastic bag.

    disgusting!! yea. even the mee suah is not tasty anymore.

  35. naVICgaTOR says:

    why kill it? poor thing, awww….

    i have encountered this many times, so i came out with a solution. the lizard is trapped there because the sink is too slippery for it to climb, trust me! to help the lizard “escape”, just leave a 30cm ruler in the sink, make a staircase for the lizard, like this “/”, got it? this is a proven method, coz i have done this many times. wahaha~~ pls don kill the poor thing again… amitabha

    i bet your house has got more mosquitoes now =P

  36. Reika says:

    hahahaha. i picked up a lizard with tissue paper once in school. dropped it from the balcony of the 2nd floor. landed on someone’s head who appeared out of nowhere on the ground floor. xD

    i actually think lizards are kinda cute. but with that said, I’ll never touch one with my bare hands. unless they’re the slow-moving type :p

  37. DjdRifT says:

    wtf*
    I hate lizards.
    had small age phobia towards lizard.
    HAHAA!!
    the mee suah seriously looks geli with the eggs in it.
    XD

  38. Jay says:

    You shouldn’t have killed the poor thing! Can you imagine if someone flush you down the toilet when you’re pregnant??? It’s not very hard to set it free, is it? The poor fella must have lost its way hence it ended up in the sink. And it’s your presence that makes it afraid to move. Playing dead to protect her babies.

    It’s really a shame. Shame on you. Shame on the fact that you actually blogged about such a shameful act. I hope you will reconsider your actions when you encounter such a situation in the future. Don’t think just about yourself. Show some care for other living things as well.

  39. WP says:

    lol I came across this post just before eating! So I stopped reading and went to eat first 😛

    I think I would have asked someone to come and get the lizard away for me…I can’t touch it either!!

  40. Kenny Lai says:

    yaiks … you little cicakgirl ….. gross !!! wanna vomit … cannot eat liao … u owe me 1 meal !!!

  41. teefernee says:

    omg. lizards are like the most disgusting thing on earth. gives me the chill looking at the picture. gross!

  42. hitomi says:

    Ewww..I would take 500 to cut it half…another 500 he keep la!!

    Luckily I dun like Oh either

  43. Michelle says:

    You know what is disgusting? Having ant infestation.

  44. horiyochi says:

    I hate lizard.

    But frankly, the lizard you had in your kitchen sink is one unique one… How come there are spike by the size of the body, huh?!

    And the lizard looks like it just recovered from a broken tail… the tail looks .. “NEW”.. ewww..

  45. ahlost says:

    Aiyerrrr ~

    Now I don’t have appetite for breakfast liao @.@

  46. Kim Ong says:

    Babe, how about this:

    http://www.kimong.com/?p=326

    Warning: Wet and slimy lizard and I stepped on it.

    I can totally feel your geli-ness.

  47. natasha says:

    hahahaha i went into the toilet one time and stepped on a lizard. eww very soft one urgh. i sprayed it with ridsect (a lot of ridsect) until it died. did a 360 before it died too

  48. Crazy Gal says:

    I scare Cockroach more than Lizard.
    Pls don’t kill lizard, it is benefit to us as it help human to kill the harmful insect.
    WE SHOULDN’T KILL IT.

  49. Stephanie says:

    O…M…G…..
    I hate lizard the most and you started your blog entry with a pic of lizard OMGGG EWWW!
    I always had this nightmare.. When I was sleeping nicely then I feel something under my blanket.. When I flipped my blanket I saw whole lot of disgusting lizards all over my bed T__T

  50. CS says:

    i was having my lunch in front of my computer and thought your lovely cheesy blog perfectly matches my mood during lunch, who knows?!?!??!

  51. Candy says:

    i read this post as i was eating my dinner – oh gosh.
    LOL. anywaay, just wandering… what nationality are you? you speak japanese really well! .__.;

  52. Reyen says:

    =_=” Watching SAW was not as bad as imagining what you mentioned….

    You know whats scary about lizards? Imagine its tail coming off and having it wriggle into your ears…..

  53. Christina says:

    I remember once,there’s this cicak where it got into the freezer and stuck there and my sis actually cut the cicak into half using a COOKING scissors.The poor thing was twitching back n forth.and the blood ewww~lol…

  54. pinkjambu says:

    Yuck .. I hate lizards too…

    Btw ar… why is your sink so brown like that? Never polish or wash properly?

    Have a nice weekend!

  55. budleee says:

    i do feel geli

    geli hati :p

  56. Simon Seow says:

    Well, lizard is good, they help to minimize the mosquitoes, cockroach, flies and other insect pests.

  57. nana says:

    You two should’ve just release it, not flush it down 🙁

  58. Hayabusa says:

    First off, the correct word for the creature is gecko. lizards, to be precise, are far bigger crawlers.

    Anyways, i’ve a hard time understanding why people fear these kinda animals. they may gross but still we’re the far bigger, smarter, & superior creature. i myself don’t mind having geckos around as long as they don’t multiply to the level of taking over my house & ruining everything. in fact, there’re 2 geckos that constantly crawl on my table as well as the wall up front. i can even hear them fight at times at midnight when i decided to stay up late. i’d be glad to play with one, provided that they’re not afraid of humans in the first place &, not pee on my hand cuz they got scared.

    & Cutting the poor thing in half’s so wrong. i wouldn’t do it even for a million bucks.

  59. iyvene lee says:

    K, i hate to see that!! but ur lizard is nicer than the one i snapped and posted, k! Arrgghhh..u remind me the geli geli feeling …take a look of d lizard that i snapped…

    http://www.bubblyvene.com/?s=lizard

    *i had nightmare for one week after that*

  60. nn says:

    OMgiosh!!u reminded me of an incident where i ate a bowl of maggi asam with lizard tail in it!!i rmbed at first glance it looked like chicken stripes…but then i look clearly…EEYAOH!!!i scream untill every lizard tail broken…lol

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  62. ASHLEY says:

    touched a lizard once, with my bare hands omfg D: it was at a swimming pool when i was younger, and i was having my swimming lessons. i leaned back and when i touched the back of my neck i felt something gooey/soft/slimy/icky, then i turned around and saw the lizard OMFGWTS ! ! ! ! i freaked out and swam away from the edge just when my instructor was briefing us on something, and he looked at me queerly =___= fucking hate lizards now T__T

  63. stainless kitchen sinks serves me better and they are stain resistant too .:,

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