Reading time: 1 min
DAY 1
12:25am @ KLIA Airport with mommy, waiting for 1.40am flight to PuDong, Shanghai.
Arrival time 7.00am local time. Embark on ShangHai city tour.
cute doggies in ChengHuang-miao
Another one–with winter clothing!
Say cheddar!
Reading time: 1 min
Naily Princess
There’s a particular shop when you are about to step out from it you willingly let the shop owner/cashier fumble about in your wallet/purse/handbag, and let them play around with your cash/card without any loath.
Know where? It’s the Nail Saloon. Everyone walks out becoming a princess.
“Honey pass me the salt please because I just got my nails done.”
Whoa.
Yes I just did my mani and pedi today at a tiny nail saloon in 1U. It’s not even half my room’s width but boy was the business good. The owner had to ask every walk-in customer to go for lunch/tea break/dinner first and come back later because there are not enough manicurists to do the jobs.
After the 2 hours buffing, polishing and blow drying, it is interesting to see how the ladies are taking extremely scrupulous care of their freshly manicured dainty nails. So much they will volunteer their Prada handbags to the manicurist to unzip and uncash them in order to avoid any chance of ruining a scrap of the potentially undried nail polish.
Ah… how princessful is that. Let others do the dirty jobs for you. You just have to sit and talk, or give orders.
And of course, I did the same too! =)
Lucky thing I didn’t hide stinky bleu in my handbag.
BTW check my fresh nails out!
Reading time: 1 min
I just wanted to see to what extend the Raining Elephants and Dolphins theory stands.
It has been raining for many days already. Miss Sky is just having her regular mood swing. Maybe suffering from PMS.
When Parmie bumbled her way into the condo it was still raining like a war between cheese and jam, and i thought “cool, im gonna get a refreshing quick rain shower”. But the moment Parmie fit her butt nicely in the parking lot, the elephantly rain stopped miraculously. Again.
I dont think that was another mere coincidence. Maybe Parmie has got some magical power to cure Miss Sky’s PMS!
Talking bout Parmie, i got her some new toys! Cool stuff! Now the only thing i owe her is a full body massage and aromatheraphy spa. Coming soon….
Reading time: 1 min
I dread those Big Days the most. They make me feel as if I don’t belong to this world. Big Days (BD) I mentioned refer to special days like the Halloween, and especially eves like Christmas and New Year, not to mention the big V day. And the most horrible thing is that my birthday is included.
I know you don’t understand it if I say I am ALWAYS alone during those days. I stay alone, go shopping alone, watch soapies alone, sleep alone. And don’t ask me why because I don’t understand why am I ALWAYS alone. And people don’t understand why I don’t understand why I am ALWAYS alone.
It’s not that I like to be alone, okay, maybe I DO like to be alone, sometimes, but I’ve been so alone, fromage so I was once labeled as “anti-social”.
“But why don’t you just hang out with your friends, like, go yumca?” they ask. This question sounds like an “Erm, don’t you have FRIENDS?” to me. I’m not a yumcaful person and neither am I a party cheese. Yes I can conveniently impute such inyumcability and unclubability mainly to my lack of tobacco tolerance, but that doesn’t sound like a good reason convincing enough to refute the proposition that I am anti-social.
In addition to my BDphobia, the question I dread most after the BDs is “So how was your day/night?” because I have to every time struggle fromage to come out with an answer that would possibly reduce the width of their jaw-droppingness. Honest answers like “well, nothing much (if at all), just stayed at home and watched some soaps and chilled”, or “well, I was alone at home” simply will not do as those anwsers will typically incur more questions such as “Vart? You must be kidding. Why? It’s XX eve! (insert head-shaking-in-disbelief emoticon here) ” or a sarcastic “You shua anot, Never go countdown meh?”
Maybe I was born a loner. Fine, a lonecheese. So ask me how my Halloween was and I will tell you, “well, it was cheesarific! I had a all-night-long cheese party in Hokkaido in conjunction with their National Cheese Week where my painstakingly made Emmenteler costume won the best-cheesily-dressed title. How bout yours?”
Reading time: 1 min
We had a crapsentation (again, which I don’t even feel like talking about) in A.L.L’s class today.
She was cheesed off by most of the groups’ presentations and everybody too was cheesed off by her rude remarks and heartless comments.
A.L.L. was busy trying to pick on every little thing she could about the presentations; presenters were busy circumventing any chance that would possibly pull A.L.L.’s What-Are-You-Talkng-About Trigger; and the whole class was busy praying that the ordeal would end a second earlier.
I was busy trying to count the times she said the folowing sentences:
1. “How many times must I tell (she has improved her ALLanguage) you?!?”
2. “WWWWhat are you talking about?!?!?”
3. “I am so blur about what you are presenting!”
4. “Don’t try to argue with me because I understood the topic very well!”
Erm, does that mean she doesn’t understand the topic NOW?
But anyways, I lost count. I would probably need a calculator to do the sum because my math sucks.
We’ve got the jitters not only when we were presenting, but seeing others present too. Prince was one of the victim of A.L.L.’s WAYTA Trigger.
He talked about something which A.L.L. deemed was out of the topic.
And she asked: “So what is the role of the media then?”
Prince: “It is……”
A.L.L.: “What?”
Prince: “It……”
A.L.L: “What?”
Prince: “……”
A.L.L.: “What? What? What? What?”
Poor Prince. Before he could even explain his point, he got shot by the WAYTA bullets 4 times in a row. Sigh……
Mozzie and I decided to escape from this WAYTA prison. That’s it, we’re outta here.
However, we couldn’t help but were so engrossed in discussing about A.L.L.’s mind. Yes, her mind.
“She claims she has a open mind. But look at the way she disapproves everyone’s opinion by saying they are wrong and defensive. I think she is very narrow-minded.”
“Narrow? That’s not even narrow. She has a closed mind!”
“Wait.. A closed mind can still be opened. Let’s see, I guess she has a locked mind…”
So the discussion went on. Before fetching Parmie, we finally came up with a conclusion:
A.L.L’s mind is locked with booby traps(whoever tries to open it will get shot), is password protected (no matter how many times you try), IP bound (automatically records whoever attempts to attack), and most SAI LEI-ly, hacker-proof (it’s so solid and adamant no one could ever gain access to it and alter the content.)
And I will end my crapsentation now. Cheese you very much.
Reading time: 2 min
Original: A Japanese cheese has won a rare prize in an international mountain cheese competition dominated by Swiss, Italian and French products.
Mozzie’s version: A chiisu has won a rare prize in an international mountain cheese (mountain-residing cheeses) competition, ruled by Swiss, Italian and French products. (Pick up your pom-poms and cheer “Nihon! Nihon! Nihon!”)
Cheesie’s remark: And soon we will have Cheesifornia roll, Cheese sushi, Teppanyacheese, cawan cheesie and sashimi topped with sliced cheese in the japanese restaurant menu.
Original: The “Sakura” cheese from Hokkaido gained the top award in the flavored soft cheese category at the third Mountain Cheese Olympics, which ended today in Appenzell, the organizers said.
Mozzie’s version: The “Sakura” chiisu from Hokkaido gained the peak award in the flavored soft cheese (not melted, but not frozen either) category at the third Mountain Cheese Olympics (where cheeses were spotted bearing flags and high jumping, pole vaulting, synchronize swimming in more cheese, gymnastics and kicking their cheese opponents in judo and fencing), which ended today in Appenzell (not Rapunzel lah!) the organizers said.
Cheesie’s remark: Congrats! The cheeseletes from Hokkaido managed to get 15 Gouda medals, 8 Stilton medals and 33 Brie medals. Gambatte kudasai!
Original: Swiss cheeses reaped 37 of the 60 awards, followed by Italian (8) and French (7) cheeses. More than 430 cheeses were evaluated in the competition.
Mozzie: Swiss cheeses (I didn’t know our Almighty Cheesus Crust was Swiss) reaped 37 of the 60 gold medals, followed by Italian cheese aged 8 years, and French cheese aged 7 years (who was the youngest cheese to participate in such an auspicious event). More than 430 cheeses were evaluated by the cheese judges in the Miss Cheese Universe pageant.
Cheesie’s remark: There’s no doubt Swiss champs it all because the Holiest cheese is known to be Emmentaler and it belongs to the Swiss group. Congrats to the winners again. However, the ones who lost in the competition need not be discouraged because they will still receive a consolation prize, which is a cheese punch, so that they can inprove their Holiness by constantly punching holes in themseves.
Source:
NewStraitsTimes, Prime News, page 12 (November 1, 2004).
Cheese Galore, BLOG-A-MOZZIE, http://www.livejournal.com/users/mozzarelly/1405.html?mode=reply (November 1, 2004).
Reading time: 1 min
I think I am using my brain too much that it is now not functioning properly. So is Mozzie I guess. This few days I got so absorbed in doing my Spirie interactie (Spirited Away interactive cd) that I even sacrificed my blogging time.
Boy was the advertising test easy, cuz Mozzie and I just copycatted throughout the entire test. While busy copycatting I heard “cheeseeeeee” (okay, it was shhsss) and it was Emmentalizabeth calling me. The next thing I knew was a small piece of folded paper thrown sneakily at me.
I picked up, unfolded and read. And was delighted by the first line:
“Ringo you are beautiful.”
And the second line read:
“Do you know the answer for the “adese” question?”
ROFL.
Oh, I couldn’t exactly roll on the floor laughing cuz it was in the classroom, maybe only LOT/CL (Lie on table/chair laughing).
I should have replied “Thank you very much but you should have studied harder. =) “ but i am not that mean. Hehe…
But anyways… People around me and Mozzie just reminded us that we really need a break from overusing my brain cells, before they are all worn-out.
Case 1:
LUCY Art Shop
1:30pm
Mozzie and I queuing impatiently waiting for the expressionless art shop worker to comb-bind our redone A.L.L. assignment. Finally it was her turn but she got the middle part of her assignment up-side down so the whole thing was spoilt. Much to her disbelief (that it actually happened cuz she had already double-check it before handing it to Mr. Expressionless), she whined she will have to retype and reprint the spoilt part. What a hassle. And we just spent like a whole hour for the editing in the comp lab. I was upset too there was nothing much I could help her do, not like I can print paper using my mouth. Hmm… the most I could do was probably buy her a nice fakkacinno, oops, I mean, chocolate mint blended from Wing’s Bucks to cool her down.
Well, until the Mr Expressionless uttered something like “go photocopy and bring it back to me”, we felt a big hammer knocking on our heads.
Why didn’t we even think of that? Its funny to see how our brains refuse to think the simplest way when it’s overworked. All came through our minds were “Oh shiat, gotta retype (cuz Mozzie didn’t save the file) and reprint it again”.
We are lucky that Mr Expressionless is not Mr Speechless, or else our brains would still make us spend another hour to get that cheesed thing done instead of 5 mins.
Case 2:
Comp Lab with new eMacs
3:30pm
Michi: So how, u guys gotta pass me the notes tomorrow so I can start.
Mozzie+Cheesie: (in chord) Bart we harf no class tomorrow!
Presentation is Thursday, so we would have to get everything done for Michi latest by tomorrow. But travel 90km to college when there’s no class? Erm…
Well, until Michi uttered something like “erm.. Email?”, once again I felt a 20 pounds emmentaler striking my head.
Okay, enough. Thou shalt rest, dear brain.
Reading time: 2 min
As A.L.L is improving her english, Mozzie and I have little to joke about in car on the way back after class.
As the last assignment for her module is finally done, we regained the mood to come up with our own crapssignment.
Then out of the pink we started this expressive alphabets thingie.
It is a A-Z reference list to cheese up our conversation.
In case you are the expressionless kind, we have some “expressions” you can use (royalty free) “dengan penuh emosinya”.
These are our exclusive FUAE (Frequently Used Audibles + Emoticons). (Emoticons are to be shown on the face of the speaker.)
A = Ahem…/ Apa tu?
B = Boo…/ Blurdie Hiao/ Blek!
C = CHEESE IT!/ Checkeedout
D = Duuuuuuuuuuuh!
E = Eeeeew…
F = Fuh-ine…
G = gugugagagigi
H = Huh?!??!
I = I see i see…/ izzit….
J = Jom/ Jah
K = Ki Siao ah you?
L = Lalalalalala (Happy Tree Friend’s theme song)
M = Muahahhahahaha!!!
N = Nah…
O = Ouch!!/ Omicheese!
P = Puh-leeeeeese
Q = QT
R = ROFL
S = Shitto!/ Siao ah lu??/ Spankiu/ SpenQ
T = Tata…/Toing
U = Uh huh./ Ummmm
V = Vart???????
W = Wei!
X = X you…
Y = Yuckss!/ Yup/ Yipee!/ Yay!/ Yiiah/ Ya lah!/ Ya hor…
Z = ZzzzZzzzZzZZZZZ………..
Reading time: 1 min
Out of curiosity and boredom, i typed these following sentences and translated them into different languages.
And boy are the translations hilarious!
Original:
I love cheese very very very much.
I am cheeses about cheeses.
I practice Ringoism.
I believe in Cheeses Crust.
I have 23 official Ringoism disciples.
I am tobacco allergic and nicotine intolerant.
I am allergic to a hybrid of Bulldog and Shitzu too. (Know why? Ask me!)
Parmie has a few friends: Dead carcass kitty the HAZEL, Bloody innocent teddy GLOOMY and Mr Long Tail Monkey wild berry milk shake
Chinese:
我非常非常非常爱乳酪。
我是乳酪关于乳酪。
我实践Ringoism 。
我相信在乳酪外壳里。
我有23 正式Ringoism 门徒。
我是烟草过敏和尼古丁不宽容。
我对牛头犬和Shitzu 杂种是过敏的也是。(知道为什么? 要求我!)
Parmie 有几个朋友: 死的尸体全部赌注淡褐, 血淋淋的无辜的女用连杉衬裤阴沉和先生长的尾巴猴子狂放的莓果奶昔
Japanese:
私はチーズを非常に非常に非常に愛する。
私はチーズについてのチーズである。
私はRingoism を練習する。
私はチーズ皮を信じる。
私にRingoism の23 人の公式の弟子がある。
私はアレルギータバコ及び不寛容なニコチンである。
私はBulldog 及びShitzu の雑種にアレルギーであるも。(なぜ知りなさいか。
私に! 尋ねなさい) Parmie に少数の友人がある: 死んだ死体のキティ薄暗いハシバミの、血の無実のテディおよび氏長い尾猿の野生の果実のミルクセーキ
French:
J’aime le fromage très très beaucoup.
Je suis des fromages au sujet des fromages.
Je pratique Ringoism.
Je crois à la croûte de fromages.
J’ai 23 disciples officiels de Ringoism.
Je suis tabac allergique et nicotine intolérante. Je suis allergique à un hybride de bouledogue et de Shitzu aussi. (savez pourquoi ? Demandez-moi !)
Parmie a quelques amis : Kitty mort de carcasse le nounours innocent NOISETTE et sanglant SOMBRE et le lait de poule sauvage de baie de M. Long Tail Monkey
Korean:
나는 치즈를 아주 아주 대단히 사랑한다.
나는 치즈에 관하여 치즈 이다.
나는Ringoism을 실행한다.
나는 치즈 빵 껍질을 믿는다.
나는Ringoism23명의 공식적인 제자가 있는다.
나는 알레르기성 담배와 관용치않는 니코틴 이다.
나는 불독과Shitzu의 잡종에 알레르기성 너무 이다. (왜 알십시요? 나에게 물으십시요!)
Parmie에는 약간 친구가 있는다: 죽는 시체 공동 자금 침울한 개암, 살벌한 결백한 테디 및 씨 긴꼬리 원숭이 강포한 장과 밀크 셰이크
HC! ROFLMCF!!!
Oh for the uninitiated, it means, yiiah, “Holy Cheese! Rolling on floor laughing my cheese off”
“圣洁乳酪! 滚动在地板对我的乳酪一笑了之”
“神聖なチーズ! 私のチーズを笑わせる床の転がり”
“Fromage saint ! Roulement sur le plancher riant mon fromage au loin”
“신성한 치즈! 나의 치즈를 떨어져 실소하는 지면에 구름”
Reading time: 1 min
Cheese Ups
• I finished MOST of my assignments.
• I actually completed the 3 ad campaign ALL BY MYSELF.
• That’s unbelievable!
• Craig Linder’s piano dreamer is ever so soothing.
• The way Mozzie talks never fails to make me smile.
Before
She was so conceptless with her interactive cd assignment, she decided to see Siew Poh for consultation.
After
Mozzie: Yay, I am no longer conceptless!
Siew Poh: Yes, I conceptualized you.
Mozzie: NO! You unconceptlessified me!
• Finally I brought mommy to the college and enlightened her about how dressfully fashionable our fellow students here are.
• It’s proven (though not clinically) I am not schizophrenic! Mommy said those REALLY ARE bird carcasses.
Wait… Could she be schizophrenic too???
• Have u ever encounter this–>
You are driving when it is raining elephants and dolphins.
You are reaching home.
You hesitate whether to take a quick rain shower or get the umbrella out (which you, okay, I, am always lazy to).
Then the rain miraculously stops. Completely.
It happens to me, like, (not even almost) EVERYTIME. Call it lucky?
•And i finally got my Degree! Yay!
|
Cheese Downs
• Plan A (Nara homestay) was cancelled.
• Plan B (conducted tour to Japan) was cancelled too.
• Parmie’s radio is cheeses. I was forced to listen to the only cassette available over and over again. And that girl called Soveign Sandnes was super boring. Sigh.. someone please salvage her sadness so that she can sing better songs.
• One of my friendster accounts mystically disappeared. And I DID NOT delete it. Yet.
• There is a Mozzie clone who blogs online using her name but appear as Cheesillicious. WTC?
My cheesepology to Mozzie, I didn’t know it was someone else. Forgive my insensitiveness. No matter what, it’s not gonna affect our cheesability anyways. Because cheesy minds think alike. 😉
Super Cheese Up
Check this out. I’ve never seen cuter gif file than this!!!
By courtesy of IamShy.
Reading time: 1 min
This is the first time I brought Parmie back to Sban, and she (hmm… he? It? Shim? Okay nevermind, she then) is very excited!
But something was wrong with me. I kept seeing carcasses!
To be precise, I THINK I saw carcasses. Black little bird carcasses, along the road. I almost swore I saw more than 9 dead birds, 5 on the way to cyberjaya, and 4 (or more, im not sure) on the way back Sban. It was weird. There were unusual whopping flocks of birds today, along the highway, from the cyberjaya exit. And the way they flew off was weird.
But the carcasses…
Bird massacre? Heck no, who would have done that?
I think I was just being too tired. You know. It’s just illusion. I have journalism essay due Monday, advertising campaign and 10 ads analysis due Tuesday, A.L.L’s policy assignment due Thursday. I must be too tired. And sleepy. I woke up 4:30am in the morning and could hardly sleep. Oh wait… 4:30am again?
Hey… something must be wrong. I must have been pre-programmed in such a way to perform certain significant task. What did I do? I have no sleep-walking habit. But wait, I might have other sleep-X-ing patterns. Say, sleep-cheesing?
No couldn’t be. I don’t see my smoked cheese slices go mysteriously missing in the fridge.
Then what’s wrong with me? Oh no… could it be.. Schizophrenia?
• Statistics by international psychiatric bodies state that one per cent of every country has schizophrenia. It means, yiah, 250,000 Malaysians would have it.
Lucky me! Merry Christmas!
• The symptoms include hallucinations, delusions, blunting of emotions, difficulty in concentrating or getting thoughts together.
Is that why I cant finish my assignments on time?
• They often hear voices.
Cheeses, what’s with the CW2S and ACW2S conversations?
• They become very argumentative because they are unable to focus on a man point of a statement. Instead, they pick on other insignificant facts because their thoughts are crowded.
But my cheese theories do make sense don’t they??
• They might see small things appear as big as a house or big things like a house appear smaller than them.
So the bird carcasses were actually black sesames? But what are black sesames doing on the high way??
Okay, now I hear you say “Cheesie, go have some rest. You are stressed.”
Guess what?
• Schizophrenia is not caused by stress. Stress just makes it worse.
But don’t worry.
• Schizophrenia doesn’t make a person stupid.
Thank cheeses.
Reading time: 2 min
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