Cheesh i will end up looking more like this!!!
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Cheesh i will end up looking more like this!!!
I have to admit I am terrified by the thought that I could actually be undergoing a fatal malnutrition. Therefore I am eating (extra) healthy today.
Went to this HK Restaurant called Tasty Tasty. Yea what a name. Without a doubt my eyes were caught by this double boiled black bean soup that claims to “detoxify” and “alleviate hair loss”. Great. Then I wanted this stir-fried spinach and another signature vege tofu dish which the waitress recommended for health’s sake. Lest people look at me as if I’m a reincarnation of a goat, I ordered this clay pot beef brisket and tendon too.
I was again horrified when the vege tofu dish was served because it looked like something that will only be served during Halloween.
It’s a plate of diced morbid white tofu swimming with amputated shrimps in a plateful of blended mushy green vege puree.
It’s a shame I didn’t bring my camera along if not you will a chance to witness this hundred-year-old eggnog lookalike. No wait, what about the green *bleep* (censored cuz it’s dinner time) you see in The Exorcism. LOL. You know what, that reminds me of the sickest joke I’ve ever told you. (In case, unfortunately, you haven’t heard about it click here).
Anyway. It was healthy and not bad tasting la. Let’s go together eat it again.
SAVE MY MANE!!!
Some kind folk commented my hair is a jungle thick but heck, the jungle is set on fire and is slowly burning down. Can you see the SOS signal yet?
I AM HAVING A MASSIVE HAIR LOSS!
Help! I lose so much hair I am in sheer horror when I look at the floor every morning I wake up. It’s like… it’s like… it looks like it’s been crawled across by one hundred Sadakos when I was sleeping!!
Whenever I leave a seat I will too leave the hair evidence that spells “Cheesie Was Here”. And if I get lost in One Utama, you can rest assured you would be able to track me down by following the signs on the marble floor.
If I gather all my lost hair, I can make a nice wig that I can sell to Natalie Portman. Okay of course I will have to bleach it if Paris Hilton wants it for her hair extension too. I better register myself with eBay.
What is happening? Am I going BALD? Cheesh my menopause is like 30 years away!! *inserts hysterical screams *
After going through a series of careful examination and analysis, I finally came up with 4 possible causes of my thinning mane.
1. My hair must be having a bad time digesting the new shampoo I bought for my oily scalp. It must be menthoxypropenediol or isobutylparaben or pyridoxine HCL (ya whatever, I don’t care) intolerant. It’s reacting badly and now it is having a severe diarrhea.
2. My hair must have grown so long that my daily nutrient intake is insufficient to keep it survive. It’s malnourished and it’s dying!! I should actually eat more to keep it alive but that would make me fat. Help!
3. It must be a punishment for being such a meanie to other people’s…erm, hair. I must confess–I send my secret hair samurai on a mission in a middle of every night to chop off any hair 1mm longer than mine. Karma man karma. Stop this sin my Hair Samurai, shall we?
4. It must be… the oversalted cheesy snacks I have been consuming. They say salt and sodium make you lose hair, yadaa yadaa… Yea I know! Ok shut up, because i’m not quitting. Cheese tasting is my profession okay. Will you give up your job if it makes you lose hair?
If none of the above reasons make sense, I know what it is.
The Hair God is mis-using her power to make me lose hair. She probably steals my hair when I was sleeping. She is extremely jealous of my hair because it is now officially longer than hers.
Gimme back my hair, you bitch!
Ok this is seriously no joke. If anyone finds a solution, call me at you-know-what-number and I promise you may keep the precious wig. If Natalie Portman rejects it you can still sell it to the Korean horror movie direcor. Deal?
She stole my Saxon Shire. If anyone sees her, please play with her before she is sentenced to death.
For those who have heard my sick jokes, you will know why i post this pic. LOL.
Btw did i tell you i had 6 pieces of different flav pizza (Capsicum/Pepperoni/Funghi/Cheese&Ham) all by myself? So think twice before you go on a pizza bet with me next time. Good luck.
Ritz Crackers’n Cheez
Manufacturer: Kraft
Product’s Name: Ritz Crackers’n Cheez
Availablity: Jusco
Crackers and cheese dip. Reminds me of the breadstick and choco dip with colored rice balls i used to have when i was young. Very nostalgic.
The cheddar dip is really nice, but it should be less salty especially when the crackers themselves are lightly salted.
When you finish the fourth cracker, you don’t know what do to with the remaining dip because it’s so salty you just cant eat it alone.
Cheesability:
/10
Goldfish Baked Snack Crackers
Manufacturer: Pepperidge Farm
Product’s Name: Goldfish Baked Snack Crackers
Availablity: Jusco
It says baked with real cheese. Hmmm no wonder they are so stingy on it.
These little fishies are not very cheesy.
You gotta feed them parmesan cheesebaits when they swim in your soup.
Cheesability:
/10
HERR’s Nachitas (Nacho cheese flavored)
Manufacturer: Herr’s
Product’s Name: Nachitas (Nacho cheese flavored
Availablity: Only seen in KIOSK
Price: RM7.50
A friend recommended this brand. So we went all the way to KIOSK to get these Nachos so that we can get drunk on cheese while running on a cheesy DVD marathon.
Compared to Dorito’s, it is way less cheesy. Me and mozzie were not high on the cheesy aroma the moment we opened the nacho bag like we did with Ruffles. It’s saltier than Dorito’s too.
But its saving grace is the crispiness. The tortillas chips are thinner therefore crispier too.
Cheesability:
/10
Herr’s Baked cheese curls
Manufacturer: HERR’s
Product’s Name: Baked cheese curls
Availablity: Only seen in KIOSK
Price: RM7.50
First of all, it is not curly. I don’t know why it is called cheese curls anyway.
Mozzie was making jokes of what they look like. It’s a little obscene so i will skip that.
As usual, I popped the first small, erm, curl? into Mozzie’s mouth as she is my official cheesebits taster.
Then i saw her face turn more crumpled then an apple crumble. Then i tasted one myself. I become another apple crumble.
It is sooooooooo salty.
But later we actually finished half of it during our final radio show. Mozzie said it was not that salty anymore after the 3rd or 4th erm, curl? Maybe it numbed our tastebuds.
Cheesability:
/10
So ask me how my Halloween was.
And may i repeat the same answer as last year’s:
“well, it was cheesarific! I had a all-night-long cheese party in Hokkaido in conjunction with their National Cheese Week where my painstakingly made Emmenteler costume won the best-cheesily-dressed title. How bout yours?”
😀
But seriously, you should have knocked on my door and asked “Trick or Cheese?”
😀
I heard of something cheesingly absurd about LUCT today.
This is what a friend told me after reading my nick in MSN.
theWanderer says:
thats no good …. have you done all the annoying reporting and all ?
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
yeps, just did whatever necessary.
theWanderer says:
then i guess the best case if some good soul give it back ….
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
dont think so
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
cuz i suspect is was stolen. It’s not like you steal someone’s husband and return it after discovering it being faulty.
theWanderer says:
LOL. then i reckon its goona be hard then …. apparently LKW has some stolen policy that if you lose something they will replace it
theWanderer says:
but i reckon you cant replace the time and effort
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
HUH! are you absolutely serious about that!?
theWanderer says:
thats what i heard …
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
that is the most ridiculous thing i’ve ever heard. It’s more ridiculous than saying jam is better than cheese.
theWanderer says:
my friend lost her camera and the management compensate her a lil $$$
theWanderer says:
i was surprise and i told her you must be kidding but its for real …
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
how much
theWanderer says:
250-300 i reckon
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
holy cheese
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
was she like hallucinating?
theWanderer says:
i hope not …. i told her she was on crack last time when she told me. but its for real
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
LUCT is the most callous money-swallowing monstrous institution in the entire universe. If they really compensated her RM300, that must be the reason why they increased the tuition fees again and attempted to limit the number of papers each student can print when we pay RM500 resource fees per semester.
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
Btw i just spent RM50 to re-apply my student card
theWanderer says:
you must be kidding
theWanderer says:
thats ridiculous
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
I wish i was
theWanderer says:
Btw how did your assingment turn out ?
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
not that bad compared to my loss of property
theWanderer says:
ahhh feel the pain … sorry to hear that again ..
cheesillicious~Needs post-wallet-loss counselling says:
haha it’s ok. sorry ya, my counsellor hasnt arrived yet.
theWanderer says:
its tough …. time will heal everthing i guess …
That’s right. I’m no Leonard or Lucy. I can feel time. Cheesallujah.
Anywee, Cheesie thanks everyone for the concern, and for those who advised me not to cry over spilled milk, no worries, i won’t, trust me.
I will sit down and watch it curdle and form cheese. =)
Here hails another nominee for “Most Moronic Day in Cheesie’s Life” Award 2005–Ms October27.
As if the jinx has not got enough of me, i lost my wallet after a tough exam with so many repeated pass year questions which we couldn’t find answers for, after realizing i have to redo my web design all over again because “tables” are not allowed in the html file.
I either dropped it or someone stole it. The former possibility makes me feel more moronic.
Now i am also officially a walletless, penniless, identityless, licenseless, discountcardless, ATMcardless, membershipless, studentIDless cheese.
Did i mention my Korean White Roxy also contained two fully stamped Coffee Bean reward cards?
It’s ok. I prefer San Fran.
Jacob’s Bites (Cheezy Cheddar)
Manufacturer: Jacob’s
Product’s Name: Jacob’s bite Cheezy Cheddar
Availablity: Local supermarket. I got it from Shell Petrol Kiosk
Price: RM1
It tasted like normal mini crackers sprinkled with Parmesan (not cheddar) powder.
The size is just nice to ease a sudden hunger pang often occurs when you are feeling completely clueless during your website design class. 😛
Cheesability:
/10
Ski D’lite Caremel Cheesecake Yogurt
Manufacturer: Dairy Farmers
Product’s Name: D’lite Caremel Cheesecake
Availablity: Local supermarket.
Price: RM4.90
Finally. If ice cream can have cheesecake flavors, why can’t yougurt? They are kith and kin for cheese’s cake.
Anyway. I bought two flavors. They are caramel cheesecake and Vanilla Boysenberry (Cheez, sounds like poison berry.)
The caramel cheesecake flavor? Whoa, it’s like eating caramelized cream cheese! But it can be abit dull to gulp down the whole 200g because there’s no “chewable” bits in the yougurt unlike its fruit counterpart. It would be better if it contains some cracker/cookie crumbs. But the best bit? It’s 99% fat free!
Cheesability:
/10
Dorito’s Nacho Cheesier!(Cheezy Cheddar)
Manufacturer: Fritolay’s
Product’s Name: Dorito’s Nacho Cheesier
Availablity: Cold Storage
Price: RM6+
Look carefully, it is Nacho Cheesier, not Nacho Cheesy.
This nacho corn chip for sure lives up to its title. But Ruffle beats it for both texture and aroma.
This Nacho reminds me of “Love Actually” and “A lot Like Love”. Why? Cuz they are all corny and cheesy! Maybe they shall make it their official movie snack.
Cheesability:
/10
Epicure Assorted Mini Cheese Puffs
Manufacturer: Epicure
Product’s Name: Assorted Mini Cheese Puffs
Availablity: Jaya Jusco
Price: RM11+
These mini pastries are made with edam and gouda cheeses.
First of all the packaging is flawed. Although the word “assorted”, every different kind of pastries should be seprately packed, because the assortment kind of messes your taste buds up. Every pastry has its individual flavor such as poppy-seed and herbs (of course everything is paired with cheese too). When mixed together, all lost its own unique taste.
However, i give extra points to the crispiness.
Cheesability:
/10
Snyder’s of Hanover
Manufacturer: Snyder’s of Hanover
Product’s Name: Snyder’s of Hanover Cheddar Cheese Pieces (Pretzel)
Availablity: Cold Storage, Starbucks
Price: RM4.90(in Starbucks, the price is about RM3 higher. Ask your barista why.)
The snack is hardened pretzels crushed into smaller pieces. This makes you less likely to choke on it, i guess. Bush you hear me? LOL.
The golden orangey color of the pretzel pieces is extremely strong. So strong it almost glow in the dark. Also it leaves golden residue all over your fingers, just like Cheezels Rings.
Mind you. the cheese flavor is so strong you can get drunk on it. Therefore, an overconsumption might leave you a massive hangover the next hour. The only thing is that u might get a jaw ache due to vigorous crushing of those pretzel pieces.
So this is like a snack with 80% cheese alcohol? But seriously. Me and Mozzie came to an agreement that this is the best non-chip cheese snack so far.
Cheesability:
.5/10
Two lonelier persons.
I would like to nominate today for the “Most Moronic Day in Cheesie’s Life” Award 2005. (But apparently it has lotsa competitors too.)
Because i just did it again.
When i thought i was very very much disillusioned, i just went into an illusion all over again. Of course, i end up getting another disillusion again at the end of the day.
I really feel moronic today.
(You ask: only today?)
I mean, more so today. But i couldnt help. Being in an illusion is sometimes, cheesarific. You feel real, you feel alive. So real, so alive you wish you will forever be in your illusory world. But when you wake up in reality you feel the exact opposite. It’s the same as my Nightmare Theory. Call me an escapist. I big time am one.
Illusion makes me a temporary princess. Well, temporary is better than none. You get everything you want. Of course, imaginary ones. It is seriously magical. In my illusory world everyone is an illusionist too. Everyone can pull a cheese-baked rabbit out of a cheese-baked hat. Everything you do seems so deja vu, yet so real-time. Maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was not.
But what if when the pain a disillusion causes far outweights your temporary satisfaction. You start to wonder if you might as well just join the Moronic Anonymous.
I felt moronic because i actually attempted to be genuine and truthful when you know very clearly you will very obviously be looked askance at, forever. No amount of sincerity is going to change how someone perceive you. The harder you try, the more you distant yourself from what you really desire.
Sighs. Now where’s that potion to stop me from all these delusional love for animated movie characters?
ROFL
email me:
cheeserland@gmail.com