It’s the dawn of a new chees-era. Those of you who are new here may be wondering about this eccentric block of cheese, so lemmi tell you a little about myself. Let’s start with the basics first…

1.What is your name?
Hmmm. Tough one. Basically, i go by the names Ringo, Cheesillicious, Cheesie, and Cheesie the Bunny, Babybelle and Chessie (new). Before you faint in confusion, let me elaborate a little.

Ringo
What?! Isn’t that a guy’s name?

Choose whichever answer floats your boat.
A. My mom wanted a drummer.

B. It was a typo derived from my original name Ring O. It stuck since then.

C. Ringo is Japanese for Apple. You may think that Ringo is a male name, because of Richard Starkey, the drummer of The Beatles. You may know him by his stage name, Ringo Starr, and that may explain why The Beatles were big in Japan. Heck, their record company was called Apple Corps Ltd.

Cheesillicious
Ok la i admit at first i thought it was kinda cool. But it’s very sien when people keep mispelling it. Furthermore, it is even siener when out of the yellow everybody started licious-fying their names. For example Marylicious, Yummilicious, Peachylicious, Cherrilicious, Pinkilicious, dash underscore dash galore. It’s like how a classy upmarket club suddenly turns into a lala hangout. You just don’t wanna have anything to do with it. So lose the licious please.

Cheesie
My current, official name. Once, a numerologist told me that a 7-character-long name would increase my chances of becoming a heartbreaker instead of a heartbreakee. So yea.

Cheesie the Bunny
I just thought hopping onto the zoowagon would be fun, you know, since we have Albert the peacock, Jasiminne the Penguin and Shaolin Tiger.

Babybelle
It was my stellarized name. Cheese here.

Chessie
I’d be happier if you’d have mispelled my name as “Chessel“, “Cheezels” or even, heck, “Chesty” instead of “CHESSIE” uRGH!!!666! Mind you, my forehead spells “i’m not obsessed with chess“, furthermore, cheese and chess are as different as cheese and chess. You don’t say “I’d like to have ESX with you” do you?! So freaking stop mispelling my name la!

Oh, and i don’t normally reveal my full name. If you can spell my full name backward, consider yourself a friend of mine.

2.Your blog is helluva confusing. WTF is going on?
Mind your language please. You are in Cheeserland. Say WTC instead.

Being confused is my nature. To find out the true reason behind my confused nature, you might have to trace all the way back to what my mom ate 22 years ago. I’m so confused even Confucius finds me confusing.

Well, in a cheeshell, i might be a confused mousie who thinks that she is a mutated bunny obsessed with cheese, or a obsessed bunny who thinks that she is a confused mousie mutated into cheese, or a confused cheese who thinks that she is a mutated mousie obsessed with bunnies.

MOUSIE?

BUNNY?

Crap. Which altercheesego just spoke?

3.You are tanned like Godiva Choco 72% and you look ugly without make up. But i really love your costumes dammit. Where did u get them from?
I got them from Taipei. Oh yea, they only come in one size. Taiwan chicks are helluva skinny.

4.What’s with you and cheese?.
Cheese here.

5.Whathe melon is Ringoism? Is that some retarded cult?
Cheese here.

6.Why “i came, i saw, i cheesed”? Damn lame.
Because i thought “Cheesie is gorgeous” would be lamer.


7.Why do you always pose at the same angle? Very sien leh!
Cheese here and here.

8.You look hot! Are you single?
I have a love-ate affair with cheese.

9.Do u ever curse?
Fucckaccino don’t you have anything better to ask?

10. What was your ambition when you were young?
I wanted to be a magician… but I ended up being the one who gets pulled out of the hat instead. That’s the closest i could get. -_-

11. What is your future plan?
I want to be the first spokescheese (yes, i’m a talking cheese) for a dairy company!

12. I love/hate your pun of the days! How do you come up with such brilliant/retarded ideas everyday?
Actually, I have two punsters-in-crime who have a great influence on my punniness. They are also my punsultans when i’m feeling punless. Presenting to you– Punny Peacock and naVICgaTOR! =)

Those who are self-proclaimed punny and are interested in being my punsultant, pleasecheeseme@gmail.com.

13.I think you are stupid/spastic/retarded/brainless but i stalk your blog every day just to be the first one to insult you.
That’s not a question, dearie. But thanx to all your undying support, now i need to look for a six-figure counter.

*mwah*

posted on 22 Oct, 2006