Oh my god. Ringo, Ringo, Ringo. What have you become.
So many tulanful incidents have happened. I am cantankerous. The mere sight of a lousy movie poster can irk me to no end. I cannot believe there are actually morons who enjoyed watching crap like the Forbidden Kingdom. It sure as hell looks like a movie which after watching, you will feel like slapping yourself, registering multiple accounts on IMDB to sabotage the rating before developing a premature brain malfunction. What makes me more tulan is how tasteless people give shitty influence and tell you a certain movie rocks. Either they are really really stupid and have an excellent taste for movie akin that of a bean sprout, or they have a personal vendetta against you.
And the worst thing is, I actually went and watched The Forbidden Kingdom.
And when Jackie Chan in his ridiculous dreadlocks and ancient Chinese suit opened his mouth and spoke English, all hell broke loose. I pulled my hair and went insane.
A total insult to Chinese literature. Which after watching, of course, i felt like slapping myself, registering multiple account on IMBD to sabotage the rating before developing a premature brain malfunction.
I was wrong. I thought that after 54 cheesnimonous days of torture there isn’t any shit I cannot take. But I just realized that I’ve become so nastily petulant I’m entirely capable of blowing a relationship off over MSN. Before that, I swallowed whatever shit thrown at me. If I was in a good mood I might even lick the faeces coated floor clean. And now, you give me a bucketful of shit, I throw it at the spinning ceiling fan and walk away.
Cheesus. You know what? I hate insensitive people. And what’s with men and their freaking ego? Have they ever heard of PMS? Can they like, compromise a little more and be a tad more loving? God. And I hate overcooked salmon. And IBS. And hot weather. And restaurants that always close on the day I visit them. And the fact that I’m at Starbucks right now because I was stupid enough to pay RM98 for constipated broadband that doesn’t work.
Ok. Excuse me now because I reaaaally need to go throw my fucckaccino randomly at a barista.
Back.
I’m sorry. I just remembered that my period is due these few days. I’m going to be bloody mad. Pun intended.
Last night, CheesieMouse had a grotesque, bizarre yet yummy dream. To put it simply, she had a very cheesinomous dream.
CheesieMouse was crawling around in this desert somewhere in Japan, desperately looking for food. She has been starved for 54 days and 54 nights. She was sooo hungry that she could literally eat a camel - no horses in this desert. Yeeba yeeba hungry hungry.
From afar she saw a paper box that had a big, yellow letter M printed across it. Her heart lit up, hyperventilating, thinking that it must be a sign from above to salvage her ravenous existence. She dragged her feet to the box but to her disappointment, it was empty.
At the bottom of the box it said “Open Me”. To CheesieMouse’s bemusement, she pondered why there would be such a message in an already open box. However, with an ever growing hunger which was becoming uncontainable, CheesieMouse pried the box apart.
A genie with big, red afro, too much make up, smudged lip stick and a pair of shoes waaaaay to big materialized before her.
“Konnicheesewa, my name is Ronald,” the genie spoke, with one hand on his waist and the other 5 fingers spread out like a fan in the air.
“Uh huh.” responded CheesieMouse, not quite sure if she should pretend to be excited seeing a genie far too different from what she had imagined.
“Congratulations! You have just unveiled the most precious gem in the desert. I’m your genie. Now i grant you a wish. How may i be at your service?”
“I’m really hungry,” said CheesieMouse while staring at Ronald’s face. She couldn’t help but wonder why on earth would Ronald choose a foundation 10 shades too light for his skin tone.
Ronald replied, “Okay. Just repeat this chant after me and you shall have the best Dream Meal ever.”
So Ronald uttered a chant. It’s called The Big Mac Chant
“Two All-Beef Patties,
Special Sauce, Lettuce,
Cheese, Pickles, Onions
On A Sesame Seed Bun!”
CheesieMouse repeated after him.
Upon repeating Ronald’s chant and in a puff of mystical smoke appeared the wonderous meal.
.
.
.
.
.
.
CheesieMouse was awestruck, she couldn’t believe what luck had befallen her to the extent that she fainted on the spot.
CheesieMouse woke up, called 1300131300 and ordered a Big Mac. She then lived cheesily ever after.
Thank you very much.
Anyway, this is yet another contest brought to you by Nuffnang and McDonald’s! All you need to do is to verbalize the Big Mac Chant in the most creative possible, and take a video of yourself doing it, and you stand a chance to win the BIG prize of RM10,000!
Okay. This is a clear example of a video that is not going to win you RM10,000. Come up with something more creative please.
Once you have video-ed yourself doing the Big Mac Chant, upload it onto www.youtube.com and email the URL and your contact number to the contest master at BigMacChant@nuffnang.com before May 28 2008.
P/S: Just in case you are about to scold me why there’s one girl in the photo who hasn’t had her head mutated into some yummy Big Mac ingredients (favoritism wtf!!!) , think again and you will realize that she’s the exact ingredient missing, thank you very much.
This time i’m really a little pissed. For so many times i just shut the cheese up and didn’t even bother to defend myself. Say whatever you want, edit whatever you want, censor whatever you want, favor whoever you like.
But even my last words also you censor, a bit too much la. This is exactly what i said. And the bold part is what they cut off.
“I’ve one thing to clear up. I’ve read some comments about me being unappreciative and i do not acknowledge what my supporters have done for me, but that’s not true. *Because i’ve said my thank yous and made my dedications a million times BUT YOU GUYS NEVER PUT IT ON AIR. And I’m not sure if you’re gonna put this on air either. * ”
And i guess not.
Sigh. Reality shows. Pun intended.
Anyway. Bimbo pictures. This is the make up shoot themed Candy Look, which we did for Bertha Gallery’s make up students. We were the subject of their examination.
I tell you. After putting on slabs of foundation then removing it with make-up remover, steps repeated ad nauseam, my face felt like it was dying. Even the mildest moisturizer felt like sand paper on my skin.
Make up is eeeeeevil.
Commenting is off by the way. Not in the mood to eat shit today.
Mahathir–The upcoming most famous blogger in Malaysia.
How cool is that.
I asked Boss Stewie, “Oi, you not gonna rope him in as a Nuffnanger meh lolol” and he replied, “I scared cannot afford his advertorial la, it’s gonna cost like 100k per entry” lol.
Anyway, this is what i bought Cheddie for her birthday.
A pink CJ7. I think it looks awfully like her. While i was in MDG, whenever i passed by a soft toy shop with CJ7 of all shapes and sizes, i would yell “Cheddieeeeeeeee” and Dom, our beautiful chaperon would shake her head in pity, thinking that the separation has caused me sever hallucination.
