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First of all i can’t say this movie is bad because the scenery is awesome. The winter, the spring, and the autumn at the end of the movie. And i always enjoy watching movies with great scenery.

Still, let me tell you why it only got a 6 from me. FYI, i gave two points extra for the special effect.

1. Narnia is a so-called children film. And it’s (mainly) about war. But i don’t fancy the whole concept of this film, because there is no such thing as children war film. The fantasy element is okay, but if you wanna do a war film, do it like Taegukgi, which left me taegukgized for a whole week. If not, stick to the typical Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. For Narnia, they can’t show a single drip of blood because children are watching it. And the only “bloody injuries” you ever see in the entire movie was dried blood on Edmund’s lower lip, and a tiny cut above Peter’s right eyebrow. The battle is made forcibly violent to be called a “battle”. In my opinion, it fails to cater for neither kids nor adults.

2. The kids can’t act. ESPECIALLY Lucy (Georgie Henley). I don’t know why they use her. She is not cute enough, and remember i say this: 10 years later she will do botox (or something better in the future) for a cheek reduction ala Hilary Duff for vanity sake. She looks excited when she is happy, and excited when she is scared, and excited when she is sad. I think acting is just so exciting for her. LOL. Her expressions are so funny you have to guess whether she is actualy smiling or about to cry.

3. The dialogs are dumb. Jokes are extremely lame and sarcasms don’t even sound remotely sarcastic, especially Lucy’s. Her lines just don’t sound logical for a girl her age. That makes her super fake. I really wonder if those lines are taken from the original book. If they are, i think the book sucks too.

4. I hate the part where Lucy was given the magical potion which cures all illness/injuries (Thank Cheeseness it’s not death). I knew she was gonna use that on one of her brothers at the end. I was just sitting through the entire show for that golden moment of her taking out that potion. And she was so stingy to give only one teeny weeny drop for the dying Edmund. What a sister.

5. Susan is freaking useless. She only shot ONE arrow during (i think it’s not even during, it is AFTER) the battle, although she is very much an untrained archer.

6. The revival of the lion was WTFish. Nuff said.

7. This bothers me the most. So Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy have become Kings and Queens of Narnia. How is that even possible? Let’s ignore the double Kings and Queens (you think you playing Poker ah?). But aren’t the Queens married to the Kings? And if they are, wouldn’t that be the most ridiculous incest of the century? And the four kids are the ONLY HUMAN BEINGs in the entire Narnia Kingdom. How are they suppose to survive? I mean, they actually stayed in Narnia for about, let’s say 15 or 20 years, without keeping in touch with any human beings at all?! So they became adults, and do they like, date each others and get married and have babies? If let’s say they aren’t having incestuous relationships… OMC Cheesus Crust!!! Now i understand where all the human-beasts in Narnia came from. So Faun Tumnus‘s mother was prolly a human and the father a goat. Or vice versa. And then Peter, Susan Edmund and Lucy will prolly have Centaurs, Satyrs or even Human-Beaver kids in the future. ROFL. Ok enough. I’m drunk.

8. Wait wait wait, one more. How the *bleep* did Lucy’s hair go curly out of a sudden when she was crowned the Queen? They bring electronic hair curler ka?

The story is just bloody predictable enough. Okay, i can’t exactly use the word bloody cause it’s just so not bloody. LOL. Fine.

Having said that, there are several things i love bout this movie though, apart from the super scenery.

1. The special effect no doubt.

2. The White Witch’s costumes! Cheez i simply love’em, especially the last Lion Mane costume during the battle. So elegantly wild. LOL. And the witch herself is gracefully evil. My fav character. =)

3. The final sountrack was naish!

Err, i think thats about it.

P/S: I finally got Enya’s new album!!!! Hooray but Duh!

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