Week One

04/03/08 Tue 10:30pm


This is the 2nd day and it feels like it’s been two months. I wasn’t told to bring a blanket, so i slept with a towel last night. Sleeping was better than what i had expected, nobody snores like a steam kettle fortunately. Bathroom arrangement is, well. You go imagine. 7 girls to share one bathroom. How to eat Kenko Diet Plum liddat. Normally i let them go first. And my blanket arrived in the evening after the photoshoot challenge. It smelled of home and i just wanted to cry.

No one is talking to me yet and i don’t talk much either. I ‘m not one to talk to entertain people. So i just continue reading my book. The girls are down at the swimming pool right now. I can’t swim, (Off topic but now i can! WAHAHA I’m so proud and i love my apartment!) but i guess i could join them and just have some fun. But i won’t. Because i’d rather just sit down here and have some quiet moments on my own.


05/03/08 Wed 11:55am

This is the 3rd day and everything still feels the same. Always waiting, always hungry, always alone. They did the interview thing in one of the rooms downstairs (Which i later refer it as the interrogation room) trying to scoop out some drama. It just doesn’t feel very right for me. Right now i can roughly see who’s closer to who. And i’m the only odd one out. Strange. Normally besties are in pairs and there are twelve of us. But i’m the odd one out. What are the odds? Guess they really hate me that much huh.

At night during the interview (after i was done) i was chilling by the pool with the girls trying very hard to blend into their conversations but failing miserably. Then Hanis came running out exclaiming “yay, no Ringo question!” right before she spotted me on the stool and i watched her expression turn into a monumental awkwardness.

So they have been asking them about me just like they have asked me about them. So i guess the questions about me are pretty tough to answer. Did anyone say anything bad? I’m sure some did but i’ll never know because they won’t tell me.


Today is the makeover day. My long, black hair is gone. Previously they had hinted that it would be a drastic change for everyone especially ME and Cindy. So i was prepared. I didn’t feel sad. AT ALL. Strange eh. But it does feel very weird when i wash my hair.

Went for groceries at night, and guess how much we were given for twelve hungry girls in the house? RM100. Hello? That’s like, one and a half muesli bars per person. And they expected the groceries to last for a week. Anyway Alison was in charge of the money and everyone rushed and bought their own stuff claiming that they are buying for the house. I was so appalled by these girls’ kiasuness. I just stood outside and waited for them.

So apparently, everyone had gotten their own item “for the house”. Nuggets, bananas, oranges, bread, yogurt (may i ask how you may share a bottle of yogurt between 12 girls?) some girls bought fruits for themselves. God. I’m so not used to living with a bunch of girls. Kill me now.

And we had McDonald’s for dinner.


06/03/08 Thurs 12:35am

This is my 4th day here. Okay technically it’s tomorrow now but i’m writing it as Wednesday for easier reference.

Last night, i kena burnt by an iron. Someone left the iron ON and unattended after ironing her dresses. I walked by and my right thigh got burnt. (Okay, it freaking hurt and until today there is a scar on my thigh. And it was such an eyesore every time we did a photoshoot with short pants i’d have to conceal the scar up. I wonder who was the one who did not turn the iron off and i hope she’s sneezing non-stop now.)

Believe me when i said nobody cared about what happened. Well, Jay was the only sympathetic one. She asked if i needed to see a doctor etc. The rest just buat tak tau. (Later on Cindy told me that Valerie commented that it was karma that i got burnt.) It’s okay it’s not very serious. It just hurts like, a lot. I won’t like get a spasm and die or something.

We had a group shoot today for Newman. HAHA guess what? My eyes have gotten really swollen. Because of the eyelash glue i think. Allergy or something. (A lesson to learn, girls. Make sure you buy a good and trusted brand if you love falsies.) God i wonder when all these misfortunes will stop.

I really really panicked. Cheesus crust we are having the mostest importantest shoot tomorrow. Our profile shoot. Die la liddat everyone is gonna notice that i got big small eyes. Why did it happen to me god oh why. I hope they give me a replacement shoot or something. Or like a profile shoot (side profile that is).

Luckily Dom and Su (They are our very very precious and wonderful nannies slash chaperons. They went through shit times too, mostly to defend the girls throughout the entire show. Only after the whole thing was over and we had a yamcha session together with Cindy, only did i realize quite a few shocking revelations and they went like “Harhhhh you didn’t know ah? Aiyo it is THAT obvious la okay”. Which i might or might not include in the future posts.) sent me to the clinic. The doctor didn’t really make the situation any better. She looked at me, said, “Allergy. Take these pills. But it could get worse before it gets better.”

Worse. Wow. That was really something comforting to hear. Anyway she said i can’t apply cream to the eye, so i could only stick to the antibiotics.

God i really wonder what will happen if it doesn’t get better tomorrow.

We had mamak for dinner today.


07/03/08 Fri (backdated)

This is the 5th day. Every moment i still feel like crying but i can only suck my tears in. Every moment i wonder why i’m here. Maybe i ought to lunge off the roof of a building and accidentally land unconsciously on the train tracks. Or just slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of toxic waste. Ok that’s Ching’s idea. She’s gonna charge me for that. Gotta think of something more original.

Today we had our profile shoot in the studio and my right swollen eye miraculously shrank to its original size. We woke up at 7am and the shoot finished 9pm at night. When we got home there was a surprise for us. We were going to Bar Savahn in Plaza Mont Kiara to… club? Like… yay? (screams hysterically, pulls hair yada yada) God i was already sooooooo tired. The last thing i wanna do is to go parade myself at some club in my half melted make up with the cameras following around shooting my drunken moments. Oooh. That’s the reason why they told us not to remove the make up yet. Also received a bottle of Escada Moon Sparkle. It’s very nice! Love it!

By 12am i was already like, wtf can we go home yet? And they pulled everyone out to dance to please the sponsor wor.. cuz they so generous to provide a venue for our very much controlled debauchery. But you should really see how some behave when they got tipsy. Let me just say it’s very… shocking. (Then again a few weeks later we got very used to her getting tipsy and acting all funny so it’s not a big deal anymore).

We clubbed until 2am. God. Finally came home and i just wanted to clip my head off with a pair of really, really blunt nail clippers. Now this is original. Well, half. Ching wanted to use a head clipper.


08/03/08 Sat (1:30am)

This is the 6th day. Finally there’s a day we can actually wake up late. After a whole night of clubbing. I’m launching my Friendly Project by getting to know the girls one by one. Today i talked to Cindy. And she isn’t exactly layaning me. More like half arse layan. God why is it so difficult. I never said anything bad about her also. (Cindy said she really hated me at that time. And i also really hated her for not layaning me. lol.)

Jay, Alison, Natasha and Jean are talking to me nicely. I got closer to Jay and Alison because they sleep next to me and we are always in the same car. And i think they are nice. It became a pattern that is kinda annoying because you only talk to the same people and you really have to guess what’s going on to the rest of the people. Nadia, Fiqa, Hanis and Cindy are particularly cold to me. They just pretend like i don’t exist.


Afternoon we went for catwalk practice at Simone’s. Then shopping in leisure mall. I bumped into *name censored* and i got super emo and i cried on the spot. The first time i actually see someone i’m familiar with after joining the show. So much for sucking back my tears. (Cindy told me they had a little discussion about my very coincidental encounter. Girl B commented that it’s very possible that i might still have my phone around and might have very conveniently called my friend to meet me there. Then she suggested getting the crew do a spot check on me. Wow. I didn’t know i was so talented. Maybe i should be the magician instead of the bunny he pulls out of the hat)

Valerie saw me getting so emo and she said she still feels very bad about what happened. She suggested i apologize to everyone. Ok that really is not something to do without courage but i’m gonna be brave! Because that’s possibly my only way to feel happy here.


09/03/08 Sun 16:05pm

It has been a week. Ok i did what Valerie suggested me to, which is to apologize to everyone. They all accepted my apology. Whether wholeheartedly i don’t know. But whatever it is i have done my part. (And it did take balls to do that kind of thing ok. I’m not particularly proud of it but i guess it was really necessary at that point. At least it brought me peace for a couple of weeks.)

Last night was phone call night. I didn’t make a call because i wanted to use the internet today. I miss everyone so much. And i’ve never missed home so so so much. Finished reading The Curious Incident. The ending was ok la. Just when i read about anything reminiscent of London i got so freaking emo. I miss my holidays. I miss my friends. I miss Cheddie. Miss going online. Miss the good food. Miss eating pork.

Today the election result is out. BN is losing out and it makes me feel very (very politically biased thoughts deleted). Still i am very ambivalent about this whole thing. Not the politics i mean. If i’m gonna do this i better get real far. If not i better get kicked out next week so i can have my life back. And eat pork lard.

After our second catwalk session, we got back early and had a rest day. It feels kinda weird not knowing what to do. My other books are very lousy. Everybody else is sleeping now but i’m not sleepy, so i’m sitting in the lounge writing this.

I really feel like eating pork noodle.