Because it’s China, baby.

Everytime we encounter something weird/ funny/ silly/ stupid/ frustrating/ surprising/ incredibly cheap (in both sense)/cheesinomous, Oli and I will shrug and say coolly “well, it’s China!”.

 
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#1 Ringo in Shanghai. It’s called Shanghai Tan.

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#2 A box out of no where on a street.

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#3 Well. People have their needs. Everywhere. It’s China.

 

They sell tigers and leopards by the roadside.

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#4 Just dead and skinned.

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#5 Apparently they are real. Only like, RMB100 each.

Then again it could be a real fake. It’s China.

 

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#6 Three (tiga, 3, san) shop assistants attending to you and telling you how gorgeous you look in their expensive coat all at the same time.

Then again i could have looked really gorgeous. It’s China.

 

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#7 Other rare treats in China besides Lychee-flavor Lays.

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#8 Ugly one cry.

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#9 Im’s story too

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#10 I had no idea why Oli got so offended by that poster, until i checked dictionary.

beanpole (plural beanpoles)

1. A thin pole for supporting bean vines.
2. (informal) A tall, thin person.

 

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#11 “Our fish of the day is Excellent.”

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#12 “Wow. That tastes like, soft!!”

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#13 Hmm. Erotic.

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#14 “Wow i really need one of those cookers in my kitchen! My guests would be so impressed. Like, totally.”

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#15 Oh my goose.

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#16 “What do you mean, that i’m making fun of Octopus!?!”

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#17 “What do you mean, that i’m making fun of frogs!?!”

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#18 “The hightlight of the entire dinner was the Nosh. Simply divine.”

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#19 “Our frogs were well exercised before they are served.”

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#20 They have very strong but flexible muscle.

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#21 Exsuse me sir, would shu like Chinese or Western Suisine?

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#22 Sounds like a steamy nice hot bath.

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#23 “Why we all so white? ooh, try this, and you will find out why.”

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#24 “No worries! We use same as Starbucks one. People don’t die in Starbucks.”

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#24 Egg tart shop.

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#25 “Maybe it’s the most delicious egg tart in Shanghai.” Maybe. Just maybe. Well you’ll never know. It’s China.

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#26 We were extremely lucky to find the one place on earth where we could fully enjoy ourselves. And i’m sure the HK and Cantonese Chefs have had some brilliant and mind-blowing braingasm before they got pregnant and came up with the ingenious conception.

The chefs are male, by the way. Well, it’s China. Everyone can get pregnant.

 

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#27 Wow. Radioactive little… croackers. Not yellow though. (They are living creatures, by the way.)

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#28 Whoever writes this Hangzhou weekly should be fired. Like, now. Like, right now. Why do i come across so many journalists who have absolutely atrocious English? And they write for national papers. It’s so tragic.

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#29 They also have a special Learn English column called Dr. Smart.

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#30 Hello Dr. Smart. Have you become like, dumb or something?

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#31 The ever popular Big Bunny Candy which were found positive for Melamine, is now Hopping back to the market, only stronger.

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#32 Tee Hee.

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#33 a name card i got from a beautician.

“Err, i would like to have a Beautiful A, three small ears, and err… to burn an eyelash. Go easy one the fire, please.”

 

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#34 And of course the obscene Hair Spray.

 

 

The moral of the story is, use babelfish when necessary, and your shop will just get famous.

But, what happens when google translate or altavista’s babelfish screws up?

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Your shop get super famous.

 

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