I had this dream a long time ago. I wrote it down and read it again today. And this post is a complete waste of your time. If you have any to waste.

I cut my limbs off. Out of curiosity. I think. I cut both my hands off the shoulder, using a knife. Just slashed them like a piece of cake. It wasn’t painful nor was there any blood.

I think I was trying to prove a point, that the limbs can still be attached to my shoulder’s joints after i cut them off. What a brave point to prove. WTF, me?

After that i woke up, and i talked about it to a friend.

.

.

i had a super tragic dream today. You wanna hear? It’s long.

Haha yea.

Today, i cut both my hands off. up to the shoulder. With a knife.

Ok question. How do u cut the 2nd hand after the first one is gone?

…… Good question. Why did i not think of that?! (nvm don’t let the details get in the way of a good dream story)

HAHAHA

then i reckoned i need medical help, so i went to the clinic. the doctor was so meh. she looked so scared wtf.

And she went and attended to some other kids. WITH ME STANDING THERE ARMLESS. What kind of doctor does that?!

did u bring ur arms with u?

Yea somehow they are attached to my shoulder still. i mean they are falling off but when i try to press it harder, then they stuck there for sometime.

HAHAHA

It’s okay. Like Velcro.

HAHAHA and then and then?

then i got help from an older doc. he said he cant do it because it’s not his expertise. He’s a Singaporean pediatrist wtf. Anyway he teman me to another clinic/hospital, but i really panicked. Because the limb will die ma, right? After a long time if it become dead then useless liao, right?

yaaa have to put ice

so we went on a bus/train thingie to go to another hospital, and i panicked because i scared they ask what happened.

lol

“what happened to you?” “oh i cut them off”

LOL

while i was trying to fabricate some lies, i also worried about my insurance.

hahahah wanna cheat insurance some more!

Yea i mean who the fuck’s gonna pay someone who cut their limbs off?!?!?!?

lol

ok then i reached, got this young doctor and young nurse, somehow them seemed like they have done this a million times, never asked me what happened also. Put me on a dirty bed with green spots, that time my hands start to feel numb d. IT’S DYING!!!

(already cut can still feel numb )

so the nurse jab me with a freaking huge needle, poke through real hard, but it wasnt THAT painful cuz numb ma.

haha okay

then i realized she was sewing my limbs back, she was DAMN SLOW! so i tried to help her, but screwed up. end up injuring my detached hand. so i stop la.

HAHAHA then? did u use ur feet to help?

you know what they did?!

what?

THEY STARTED WATCHING TV.

hahaha so tragic! i think it must be the neil gaiman influence.

I wasn’t angry, but i panicked. i wanted to switch off the tv, but FML i got no hands.

HAHAHA so weird. Totally defying all logic.

then walked to the doctor and requested for some drugs that make you sleep. With my limbs half attached.

Hahaha then?

I woke up.

.

.

.

THE END.

The lesson i learnt is, NEVER CUT YOUR LIMBS OFF. Especially not BOTH.

[ad]

Since my hands are still attached to my body nao, i wanna do something nice for them. Who knows the dream’s a subtle hint that they got sick of me and wanted to leave me right. Ok not that subtle.

RM68 instead of RM185 for Gelish Manicure  & OPI Ginger Lily Lotion Massage + OPI Pedicure + Gel Removal (on next visit) at Colors Cabin, Damansara Utama via Milkadeal.com.

I love you all, hands. And fingers.