You know the 10 second lag when you’re having a conversation with your friend who is holding an iPhone?
You ask, so how was the meeting? And your friend will be staring at his phone like a Time Demon just froze him and there will be an awkward 10-second silence during which you briefly consider picking up your own iPhone and stare at it too until your friends replies, “sorry what was it? Oh meeting. It was okay!”
Every fucking time.
I seriously wonder how many people nowadays can sit through a dinner without touching their phones.
Stupid gadgets are like the ultimate convenient excuse to interrupt/end/get through any social situations.
Bad dinner date. Pretend checking emails.
Finish dinner with group of friends. All chatting with other people on Whatsapp.
Eating #foreveralone. Pretend rush out for a quick bite while doing work on phone.
Run out of topic to talk. Read 9gag.
Watch Lee Chong Wei and Lin Dan’s live match. Busy tweetting scores.
I know right. I do it too. Sometimes i realized how fucked up it was, so i wanted a break and stop refreshing my Twitter every 5 seconds. But my friends won’t let me. They will start checking their FB every 5 seconds. Then get possessed by Time Demon for like 20 minutes.
What do i do? Stare at them like a sohai ah?
I START REFRESHING MY TWITTER TIMELINE ALSO LA.
(Then don’t believe there’s no new mentions then will force F5 again. Repeats action until friend puts phone down.)
Worst case scenario?
PHONE BATTERY FLAT.
(Can only stare at your friend giggling at their phones while you do nothing like an idiot wtf)
I hate this whole technology thing.
Fuck you, future.
Then i start to wonder what the world would be like without all these glorious social channels to showcase every individual’s alternate life online. I suspect a huge reason of human’s existence nowadays is merely to show off yourself and seek attention from complete random strangers from god knows where. Human’s life would be a depressing, meaningless passing of time if nobody knows how good you look in your new dress, how fun your party last night was, how expensive your fancy dinner was, how drunk your friends made you, how popular you are among all your pretentious friends.
Well at least i would be.
Imagine there’s no Twitter. No Facebook. No blogs. Ok la i’ll be nice and give you emails and a camera.
Dress to kill. Took pictures but nowhere to upload and show how pretty you look.
Discover a fancy restaurant. No where to check in and announce presence.
Party with 10 friends. No one to tag.
Make a half-ass marginally edible cake. Cannot tweetpic.
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE ?
Internet down? Worst day ever. BIG FUCKING DEAL.
Try living the life a decade ago.
I cannot remember how i lived the first 15 years of my life, where meeting someone literally means making an appointment to physically meet someone at a mutually agreed location at a mutually agreed time and turn up at said location on said time and looking out for said person you’re suppsed to meet.
If you wait for 15 minutes and the person doesn’t turn up, you are fucked.
1. You will have to find the nearest public phone to call the person’s home to find out if the person is out and if the family member knows where the person is, but at the same time risking missing the person turning up at agreed meeting point, resulting in the person thinking you are gone after waiting for too long. It’s like fateless path-crossing movie cliches.
2. Continue waiting in panic, wondering about all kinds of possibility that might have happened to cause the person not turning up on time.
Now we whatsapp Honey please pass me the salt.
I hate you, technology, but not as much as i desperately need you.
Also, a proper blog post will only look proper without pictures so that it will look as if it’s an intelligence-oriented piece written with well organized thoughts and opinions that will likely resonate among like-minded people who will then produce seemingly witty and lengthy two cents’ worth in response to your seemingly intelligence-oriented piece written with well organized thoughts and opinions.
But i am also an attention whore so i cannot resist it.
Also because nobody reads my blog post when there’s no pictures in it.
So here’s a few pictures of me supposedly having very much fun partying drinking dancing getting high whatever living the life NOW LOOK AT ME AND GIVE ME SOME ATTENTION.
Oh look, a picture!
Oh look, another one!
Oh look i have a life outside my house.
Oh look i actually have friends!!
Oh look i hang out with cool people at cool parties!
If you prefer less words and more pictures, welcome to my Facebook Page.
*resumes bimbo mode