I dread those Big Days the most. They make me feel as if I don’t belong to this world. Big Days (BD) I mentioned refer to special days like the Halloween, and especially eves like Christmas and New Year, not to mention the big V day. And the most horrible thing is that my birthday is included.
I know you don’t understand it if I say I am ALWAYS alone during those days. I stay alone, go shopping alone, watch soapies alone, sleep alone. And don’t ask me why because I don’t understand why am I ALWAYS alone. And people don’t understand why I don’t understand why I am ALWAYS alone.
It’s not that I like to be alone, okay, maybe I DO like to be alone, sometimes, but I’ve been so alone, fromage so I was once labeled as “anti-social”.
“But why don’t you just hang out with your friends, like, go yumca?” they ask. This question sounds like an “Erm, don’t you have FRIENDS?” to me. I’m not a yumcaful person and neither am I a party cheese. Yes I can conveniently impute such inyumcability and unclubability mainly to my lack of tobacco tolerance, but that doesn’t sound like a good reason convincing enough to refute the proposition that I am anti-social.
In addition to my BDphobia, the question I dread most after the BDs is “So how was your day/night?” because I have to every time struggle fromage to come out with an answer that would possibly reduce the width of their jaw-droppingness. Honest answers like “well, nothing much (if at all), just stayed at home and watched some soaps and chilled”, or “well, I was alone at home” simply will not do as those anwsers will typically incur more questions such as “Vart? You must be kidding. Why? It’s XX eve! (insert head-shaking-in-disbelief emoticon here) ” or a sarcastic “You shua anot, Never go countdown meh?”
Maybe I was born a loner. Fine, a lonecheese. So ask me how my Halloween was and I will tell you, “well, it was cheesarific! I had a all-night-long cheese party in Hokkaido in conjunction with their National Cheese Week where my painstakingly made Emmenteler costume won the best-cheesily-dressed title. How bout yours?”
i guess i can kinda understand 🙂