September 4, 2006by cheesie70 Comments❤︎47 Prefectures❤︎

We want to be slimmer

Pun of the day:
There should be a Nobelly Prize for someone who can finally eliminate everyone’s slimming woes. Even if there’s only a slim chance, it’ll be worth the weight.

 

Admit it. Your BMI indicates optimal weight, but you still wanna be slimmer.

I’m getting lotsa comments saying how strange it is for me to eat so much yet not gain any weight.

The truth is,

 
I DO have my fair share of “fat time”.
 

I can balloon up really easily. Of course, i never post any unflattering fat photos of myself, therefore, everyone assumes that i’m slim all the time.

 
“But you are slim enough already! Why lose weight? Are you nuts, i mean, cheeses?”
You exclaim.
 

The truth is,

 
I am slim enough. In real life.
 
 

BUT NOT IN PHOTOS.
 
 

I can look as if i’m five months pregnant if the shot is not angled properly. Everybody knows the camera puts 10 pounds on you. That is why photography models are always extra skinny so that they look “just nice” in photos. Likewise, if you look “just nice” in person, you will look “a bit on the plump side” in photos.

True, there’s this operating theatre known as Photoshop and we can always perform digital surgery on ourselves. Cheese bless Photoshop. However, you may be able to PS your own photos to your heart’s content, but others might not PS your photos for you.

That’s why celebrities always look so much skinnier in real life; because they are striving to appear fat-free in the newspapers!

So cham right. 🙁

 
 
All of us average-weight people are dying to lose more weight (even though there’s a chance of looking anorexic in real life) JUST FOR THOSE DAMN PHOTOS!
 
 

“Eh, i look fat in this pic. My tummy is bulging wei. Gosh, i have fat arms! Fine, i’m skipping dinner later!”

Tell me i don’t look fat!
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Man, I find it depressing.

 
 

Come to think of it, it is not our fault that we constantly want to be skinnier (mom, stop freaking out).

 
BLAME THE DAMN CAMERA!

 

I was thinking, if only all cameras make you look slimmer in photos, then there won’t be so much suffering. Models wouldn’t have to eat canned cat food or swallow cotton balls. And i wouldn’t need to feel pressured because my photographers have to liquify my photos.

-_-

And no more top-down camwhore shots.

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Ok la i admit, it’s just an excuse for me to post a better pic of myself to neutralize the shocking effect of the first pic

So peeps, let’s boycott all of the fattening cameras, and someone, please invent slimming lens!

There’s this joke: What’s the worst way you could torture a woman?
Answer: Give her the most beautiful dress in the world, and then lock her up in a room that has no mirror.

We diet, exercise, become bulimic, go for lipo, buy some crazy i-Gallop, all for what? To look into the mirror and smile at what we see, of course!

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How to be happy if we don’t like what we see?

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Wouldn’t all this misery come to an end if a “slimming mirror” exists?

If such a wonderful mirror exists, we can chuck away all our normal mirrors, and world peace can be achieved.

With such a great invention, everybody would look 10 pounds slimmer in the mirror and in photos. If we see a slimmer self wherever we go, we will no longer be compelled to lose weight. Hence, we would be able to eat more, because we’ll look thinner than we really are anyway.

In fact, in order not to look too skinny in photos, we’d have to eat more and gain some weight!! 😀 😀 😀

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“Man, i think i look too skinny in that photo. Pass me that fondue!”

How’s THAT for a PERFECT LIFE?

We’re the worst critics of ourselves. If we’re convinced that we look good, we do!

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Before the arrival of the divine slimming camera and mirror, i’m sad to report that i will still continue to wage wars against my chubbiness.

However, i’m on this amazing diet which is working miracles for me. Will share my biggest secret with you guys soon! 😉

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