written July 6th, 2009

what i said about how things decide to take a drastic turn just when you expect them to head the way you want them to.

i almost booked a flight back to KL. that was what happened. (edit: i actually booked  a flight home. That was what actually happened.)

it was like Jenga. you build it up just so it could fall apart.

you pull one out. i pull one out. you pull another one out. and i pull another one out. until it is full of holes all over.

so you pull one out safely and then feel relieved to leave the shit up to everyone else to screw it up, it goes one big round and comes back to you. now it is your turn to screw it all up.

it’s amazing, this bloody Jenga thing. just when you think it is impossible anymore, that this is the last straw (or block, whatever) that will make everything collapse, you manage to pull one out. and another one. and another one. an another one. it went on about like a hundred million times. there will always be another last straw (or block, whatever, really).

but.

no matter how much you try to be careful and cautious and gentle with it, it will come all tumbling down in the end. which is kind of the whole point of why you have built it in the first place. it is ironic really.

and i knew that was the last one to pull out.

for sure.

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