Is a lot less fun than i expected it to be (not like i expected it in the first place.). Not even the Flag Showing part. I bet even Phileas Fogg doesn’t feel this stressed. Plus he actually won the bet.

After Berlin-Doha-Singapore and somewhere in the limbo, i’m finally home.

Anyway so yesterday i blogged about how Qatar totally fucked up and caused me and other 7 passengers to miss our flight back to KLIA. So they put us onto the next available flight via Singapore, then a transfer again and back to KLIA at last.

Guess what?

They delayed and landed in Changi airport late, causing us to miss our flight back to KLIA.

AGAIN.

We ran like mad panting hyenas from terminal to terminal to find out that the gate had closed.

I didn’t even say a word. Troll fate, i succumbed myself to you. 24 hours without shower and keep having to keep track of new time zones and having eaten repetitive plane food, i was almost delirious and felt like it is a limbo i couldn’t get out from.

Hours later, we boarded the plane and flew happily ever after. Until an infant creature decided to wail non stop. I briefly considered wailing out loud myself, but thought better of it. Instead, i just stood up, walked to the source of deafening noise and gave it a tight slap. Then the mother of said infant creature looked at me in shock and i called her some names that belong to domesticated animals and then she punched me back and followed by a huge commotion on the plane and the pilot had to stop the plane on some obscure island that looks like LOST where we got stuck for two whole months and survived on only algae and possum carcasses before a Chimera appeared, set the island on fire and nommed everyone.

So this blog post you are reading now is actually written by the dead me sent via a phantom morse code.

AVENGE ME, YOU ALL.

And judging the way i behaved the past twenty something years in my life i am pretty sure i just flew first class straight to hell. Hello, you, you, and you, and the whole bunch of you over there, hope to see you soon.

So yea, that’s the story about my flight from Europe.

Except that everything after the infant creature’s cry only happened in my head out of delirium. But i would totally understand and even nod in utter agreement if that actually happened, because it was that kind of hellish journey it has been.

Anyway, the real story does not end here.

So we were put on the next available SQ flight to Kuala Lumpur. We boarded safely, and the plane delayed.

YET AGAIN.

For crippled alien knows what reason.

And then when we finally landed at KLIA, i waited 45 minutes for my luggage and it was no where in sight. Apparently they fucked up the luggage too so i had to go home and wait for them to call me for news.

Seriously, at that point of time, i was ready to meet the fire breathing Chimera at the Luggage Lost and Found department. Murphy Law has it, i will actually be shocked instead if they didn’t lose my luggage.

Anyway.

I don’t think it’s Qatar’s fault that all these happened. It could very well be my own fault for all i know. When i checked in at Berlin Tegel airport my luggage limit was 23KG. i had 2KG extra. Some grumpy old German woman insisted i pay for the fee, which i insisted otherwise so i spent a lot of time taking out stuff from my luggage for hand carry instead. Maybe that’s why the plane was late in Germany and in Doha and in SG and in KLIA. It’s just bad karma recycled again and again and again.

So i am all at peace with the airline and myself. Feeling zen and all that jazz. In fact, i felt so zen that even a Bohdi tree would come to life and tear in enlightenment.

Also because my flight was delayed three times, it should mean that i am, literally, JET-LAGGED X3. I can only hope to assume that it gives me some sort of latent aero Super Power.

Also, i’m not even sure what i am talking about anymore.  I need a strong drink. Or maybe i already had one, which is why i talked like this.

Either that, or i really am sending this through phantom morse code, you all.

Or…

that i got incepted on the flight.