The reason why my typing sucks

March 5, 2006 in Cheesellaneous

Stop complaining why i type so slow and that I complain that you type so slow.

Because I have the reason to and you don’t.

Everybody has the ability to type unless you are fingerless. I saw once a fingerless lady play bingo with a bingo blotter taped to her hand. It was both impressive and depressing at the same time. If I were you, I will knock myself with a 3-pounds edam on my head when I see the way Cheesie types.

Because, Cheesie is typingly-challenged.

Not that I am dyslexic or having fingeretardation. Simply because, my nails are long. Like, freaking long.

So why do I keep such long nails?

Answer A: So that I don’t need to waste money buying nail extensions. They are EXPENSIVE!

Answer B: It’s my secret weapon (Oh well, since I revealed it, no longer a secret then) against all kind of enemies. Having them, I don’t need to spend half a minute fumbling in my multi-pocketed handbag to find that stinkacheese spray. So dun pray pray ya!

Answer C: So that I can show people that I am talented. *smug* When my potential employer asks: (Skip this, you banana, go take up some mandarin course)

“你有什么专长?”

Then I can answer

“啊我有两项专长—我的头发和指甲特别长”

Answer D: Long nails are beautiful. Ask Ayumi Hamasaki!

Show you some pictures ok. These are all MY nails! =D

Oh yes, my nails are THAT long.

And in case you are wondering, they are REAL, for cheese’s cake.

Manicurists fear me because they said I waste their nail polish. And time. Too bad they don’t have a policy like saloons where they can charge higher for longer hair.

Now you are curious. “So Cheesie, how exactly do you type?” You ask.

“I use my knuckles to type la” is often the answer you will get from me.

But knuckle reminds me of that crispy German pork thingie. I don’t want to be associated with a PIG!!!

>_Type (no pun intended) A—The finger-tip typing

It is comfortable. But that is also the reason why you always see me type“I’m crazy abou tit” and “I love salad with salmons lice” . Also, the “tit u bust” joke.

Type B—The nail typing

Trust me. It HURTS!!!! >_

Type C—The infamous pork knuckle

This is okay. But that is also why you always laugh at my:

“I went to see the dentish today”
“sorry denist”
“densit”
“dentits”
“dentist!!! Fukkacino!!”

=_=

Type D—The latest typing aid for unfortunate typingly-challenged person (you can use anything really)


This one is most accurate. My favorite typing aid is my thin lip gloss stick (as above pic). But once again, that’s the reason why you see “Cheesie is writing a message” at the bottom of your MSN window but nothing comes out after one minute.

Now that I have debunked most of my typing myths, you have one final question to ask.

“Your nails are so beautiful (insert whatever compliment that pleases me, remember you are asking a favor ok.! May I know how do you keep them so long?”

*smug*

My secret is……

I don’t cut them.

Muahahahaha.

But I’m serious. They just, grow. Like hair. Your hair won’t suddenly just break into half will it? Something’s wrong with your nails. Go consult your manicurist.

If that answer doesn’t quite satisfy you, later I will go take a picture of the content of my fridge then you might understand how my daily calcium intake contributes to such strong nails.

=)

38 people cheesed “The reason why my typing sucks”

  1. haha .. great post!! Must have taken you long to type it out..

    Long nails make me queasy.. super afraid they’ll break or something. Nail Survival Guides are helpful .. =)

  2. I suggest you to go buy expensive voice-recognition software for your input-sake. Keeping those long nails are not helping at all, not in any sense. Yeah, maybe it’s a girl’s nature to keep her nails/hairs long so there’s a feminine aura around her (or whatever). But hey, you can do many styles with your hair, or even tie them up so it won’t block your eye-sight. But nails?? The longer they are, the more maintenance works you need to spend your time (minus the very little you have, from slow typing some more) on it so it won’t have cockroach eggs.

    There’s one benefit I can think of it. It gives you lesser works to look like a ancient Chinese vampire, aka KiongSi.

    Oh yah, I typed this quite slow too, but it’still faster than you at least. LOL.

  3. Question.

    HOW THE CHEESE DO YOU DIG YOUR NOSE?

  4. Monkey God says:

    Hmmm … I wonder if nails of that length and shape would play any part in impeding your … err … hand skills in the room, if ya know what I mean.

    Unless of course, the man you’re “shaking hands” with is a sado. Then of course, nails like yours would be the reason why he’s going out with you in the first place. *wink*

    Very interesting posts on this blog, although some are abit cheesy (no pun intended).

  5. Your typng speed isn’t that bad, still fast than a lot of people who have short nails!!

    As far as someone saying you shouldn’t keep long nails is concerned.. someone got no idea of fashion :oP The fact that Princess can have long nails that are strong is great because I’m sure there are countless girls who’d love to have those kinda nails!!

  6. oldbearson: thanx for all the useful links! =)

    reon:i am broke wor. cant afford voice-recog softie la. How how how? *hints desperately*

    kenny:liddat oni shiok ma. lol.

    monkeygod: thanx for dropping by =)

    porkie: i think im gonna cut them once one breaks. =( Ringoism rule.

  7. Yah I know.. you did that last time. Think it was the day before I arrived right? But your nails grow pretty fast mah :o) Looking forward to seeing your latest nail arts when I’m back ;o)

  8. other than playing with keyboard…
    can also use ur long nail to play guitar…and good for opening can too.

    typing slow? who care? it’s not like someone is really in a rush going somewhere, unless they really are…nobody is at here is on quick typing competition anyway…….R they? I hope not…hehe

  9. Your fingers are meant for works, not decorations. Just try once with short nails. I bet you can type as freely as you wish. =)

  10. I think your long fingernails are very beautiful :) Are they still so long now?

  11. very beautiful nails, more pics pliz :)

  12. i was loooking through other pictures, you dont have them this long nowadays?

  13. No i don’t. My crush prefers it short. :)

  14. dave aka pnl says:

    What ashamed about your nails cheesie :-(. Long beautiful natural fingernails are a gift from God and should be recognized as such. I hope you will once again grow and maintain your natural fingernails to the length and high standard I see here ! :-). I adore long pretty pink polished natural fingernails mmmmmmmmm

  15. Wow, I can imagine, thtat can taek some time *gg*
    but I have to say your hands, especially your nails are wonderful ;-)

    Greetings from Switzerland

  16. Dave and Livetorevolutionize: Thank you. I’m thinking of going for manicure tomorrow. :)

  17. dave aka pnl says:

    mmmmmmmmmmm sounds yummy ! Just wish I could be there to enjoy the festivity :). Beautifully manicured fingernails are a sure sign of elegance, class, sophistication and femininity and you posses them all Cheesie.

  18. Your manicure is absolutely stunning. Please ignore any bad comments about them, I guess they don’t know what class is…….

  19. Oh please, more nail pics :)

  20. Those are some amazing nails. Have you ever used them in a fight to scratch someone?

  21. Will U ever have them this long n beautiful again?

  22. Haha it is pretty long now

  23. Your nails are so beautiful. They are a very big part of you. I noticed how beautiful your hair and nails were in many of your other pictures.

  24. everything you have is so fashion so nice!! :lol: long nail long hair like wow.

  25. oh man im still in high school so i cant have long nails. ;(

  26. Well, may I ask , do u wear contact lens?
    If yes, how do u wear or take them out with….long nails?
    (mmm…been wondering this question a long time,hehe) ;-)

  27. I wanted to ask this for a long time alr, how do you wear jeans?! :D

  28. Good to know those things Cheesie :razz:

  29. Cheesie has some of the most beautiful hands and nails in the world!

  30. wow for some nails you have i will love to walk with you with my both hands in my pocket and you walk with me with your wonderful long nails.After a while it was snow on the way we walk and you have high shoes on and you must put your arm under my arm so you dont fall and we walk arm in arm and i looking at your nails when we walk there arm in arm.If you have moore nice pictures of your wonderful nails please mail some to a naillover freom norway on hrhovd@onlie.no

    kisses from hroar

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