Note: No la you’re not in the wrong blog. Cheeserland is now on iTalk Buddy. πŸ™‚

Β 

I’m quite troubled by this jinx that has been following me for the past few weeks. Seems like the more i talk about something i want, the further it drifts away from me. Why? It was just an innocent anticipation, it was just an excitement i can’t wait to share to my loved ones, why would they just cheesappear half way towards my embrace?

It’s called the Futon Jinx. Futon (布団) is a kind of Japanese mattress. And i coined this term after reading an article from my Japanese class material. See, don’t you have this experience? Every night after you tuck in to bed (in this case the Japanese Futon) and before you float into dreamland, you fantasize about things you crave for. Maybe you make up a scene about how your massive, secret crush for two years suddenly confesses his/her feelings for you over a glass of Chardonnay, then leads to the scene where you guys finally make out blah blah blah… or getting your hands on your favorite Lamborghini’s steering wheel, getting an insanely high pay rise, passing your SPM with frying karers….

You giggle like an oaf and sleep with a big smile on your face (you could use a vibrator, if things heat up, you know).

Β 

But they never came true. None of which you picture every night, hoping will materialize someday. Not even the smallest fragment of your faintest fantasy.

Or they turn out to be the exact opposite (your crush will never notice your new haircut. He/she just announce his/her new love, your car loan wasn’t approved, your bastard boss fires you over a cup of spilled cappuccino and you flunk your exams, big time!!!666touchwoodtouchwoodtouchwood).

Β 

That’s the Futon Jinx.

Β 

That’s why, whenever i want something, i try to refrain myself very hard from even thinking about it. Because i believe in Futon Jinx. Yea a jinx i made up.

Β 

Note: From this point onwards i shall replace the word fantasy/dream/that-damn-thing-i-want with cheesecakes. Don’t bother about me! After all there’s this Annie Lennox song that sings “Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to disagree?”. Ok just kidding. But really, who are you to cheesagree?

Β 

I work hard for my cheesecakes, i have worked hard for everything i longed for. Isn’t it frustrating that people don’t seem to think that you deserve that piece of delicate cheesecake (albeit calorie-laden) after such long, excruciating labor? So the saying goes, you can’t have your cheesecake and eat it too. But why not? I have brought Cheddie for more than enough rides, and walked that extra mile just to burn the fats i’ve stored in beneath my skin. I think i deserve to at least have a mouthful of that damn piece of cake.

I’m not blaming whoever came in the way and potong’ed every single molecule of steam that was gonna lead me towards that cheesing cake. Well what can i say! Some people just have their cheesing ways around things. They tail you like an innocent little wide-eye kitty and when your guard’s down, they have had their ways around moving your cheese. Faster than you can say “cheese”. Dang! I should have read the damn book, learn to slide just a tad smoother, get around things just a tad faster, maybe i’ll have my cheese after all.

It’s all my own fault! I could teach Cheddie how to fetch a damn lighter but i didn’t know how to seize the Frisbee that flew by. I was all too blind to have seen that coming. So stupid! I don’t care la i just want my cheesecake ok! *sulks like Maggie Simpson* Now gimme or die! *pulls revolver’s trigger*

Β 

Ok kidding.

Β 

Haih what can i do but work harder, which is what i do always. I don’t know how to gunting pendek and i hate to do the disgusting patronizing. Suan le ba. I’m used to it already oneeeeeeeeee *bitter*. And kind (read: dumb) people always fail, you think?

Last but not cheese, a word of caution though. Don’t be so perasan and think that everything i wrote is about you. Maybe it’s not. Don’t overestimate yourself and pandai pandai think that i actually care a cheese about you.

Join the Japan Cult!

Receive exclusive members-only updates from me!

Share: