How to be camsluts.

October 30, 2007 in Really useless vain pix / UK

A stinky dairy waste, a wacky bird and two veggies with their atas cameras in London are going through excruciating tests in mission to obtain the Certicicate of Camslutting.

Test One: Public Camslutting
Able to camslut at public places shamelessly. The more public the better.

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Example: Outside Harrods.

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Pose like no tomorrow.

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Oblivious to the surrounding.


Test Two: Action

Speak louder than words of course. Do whatever it takes to slut for attention.


KISS.

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Cheesie: *uses Penguage, ie Penguin Language* You’re so hot can die dot com.

GUFFAW.
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Jas: Baby, we’re in London. It should read, “you’re so hot can die dot com dot uk”. MUAHAHAHHA.

JUMP.
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Failed.

GO CRAZY.
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Jas: Please eat less. You’re as heavy as an obese elephant.

GO CRAZIER.
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Jas: Just pulling your leg! WAHAHHAHAHA.

Change of location. The entire camslut troop marched to the Royal whatever Albert place. (Peacock, were you born here?)

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But camslutting continues.

Test Three: Get into the picture, literally

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Campimp Porkie taking picture of cammamasan Claudine taking picture of camslut Jas kacaoing my pose.

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Kacao kaokao.

The more irritating you are, the better a camslut you can become.

Test Four: Steady Body

Able to hold and freeze for at least 5 second.

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Test Five: QC

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Brilliant camsluts must know quality control. Pose, check, delete, pose again. Repeat steps ad nauseam.

Test Six: Bend it like Ahem

Must possess super flexible body.

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Jas’s bird kick.

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Which campimp Porkie failed to copy.

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Acrobatic bird.

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And that’s as far as a cheese can bend.

Test Seven: Puppets and Mannequins

Pose like one. The more statue-like the more professional.

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Test Eight: Camslut Everything

A statue. A flower petal. A rock. A phone.

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Even a lamp post wouldn’t potong our steam (lame pun?).

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Test Nine: If Being Cool Fails, Try Cute.

Enough said.

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Test Ten: If all else fail, try retard factor.

Shoe Bulimic.
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Cheesetart.
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If you pass all the tests above, congratulations. You’re now officially a camslut. Kindly donate 10 pounds to “Send Cheesie to London” fund raising campaign to receive a self-destructive certificate. Thank you.

P/S: Cheesie’s Japanese Schoogirl Rebel outfit is for sale. Check out her Wardrobe.