There was one comment in my previous post that was quite hurtful lo.

It made me doubt myself. It made me think that i’m really that incompetent and maybe even utterly useless. I felt very sad after reading that comment. It hurt my ego. I felt like giving up. All the hard work. All the labor. It’s all not worth it.
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It was this:

That was my mom.

Why her name is “Me” is because i think it’s like when you call your boyfriend or daughter or dog you say like, “hi it’s me”, but your name is not actually Me, you get what i mean?

Hello, seaweed is vegetable lai de leh ni zhi dao ma? And it was fresh before it… Ok it was not that fresh. Fine.

But I got bei sam gei cook  this meal one ok!!! Even my Maggi client was very happy with my creation ok. Dun pray pray ok.

Ok la mom always worries about the lack of green color in my food one fml. Next time maybe i wanna photoshop everything green before i post it up. Green egg, green ham, green sausage, green carrot. Hmmm. i think she’s okay with carrot being orange color.

Anyway. Just to prove a point la ok.

NAH! Got green karer one ok!

That’s my Karaguchi Curry with a softboil egg and some make-mom-happy-stuff on the side.

Maybe you can go and measure the ratio of the colors ok green color at least 50% ok fml (wei, to be fair you have to think that veg is bulky and curry is flat, and you have to gorek and combine all the sneaky bits and pieces hidden underneath that rice so veg got more volume ok i very good at science one hmmph!)

See i happy eating.

And then and then! I’m here to share another recipe!!! Ok la to be fair the recipe is inspired KY. But i guess he only deserves 1/4 the credits because the recipe is originally from someone else not him. And it’s only after i pass him Mr Porky that he thought about this.

Anyway!

The recipe is called Mr Porky Porridge!!!

It’s the simplest recipe in the world. You just need:

1. Mr Porkie

2. Porridge

SEE! Cheeserland never teach you complicated stuff one! Except that you have to fly to UK to buy Mr Porky, but other than that, easy peasy!

Mr Porky, as i got from Porkie who brought back from UK (pardon the confusion in name, it wasn’t intended in any way), is ready-packed instant pork scratching snack thingie. It’s OMFG good but also OMFG salty. It’s great to go with beer, but i don’t drink beer, and eating it alone is so OMFG torturous because, like i said, it is OMFG salty, but OMFG yummy you can’t stop.

So! Eating it with Porridge is genius! 😀

How to:

Step 1: Take a packet of Mr Porkie, scrunch it as if it’s an enemy you are very tulan with and want to kill it. Hear the crushing noise of said enemy’s crunchy and yummy bones.

Step 2: If said enemy is not dead yet, further squash and step on it sesuka hati until your sadistic satisfaction is reached.

Step 3: Normally unnecessary, but use hammer if the need arises.

Step 4: Rip enemy off and pour over a hot steaming bowl of porridge.

Now you can enjoy enemy along with hamdan and veggies. (Veggie. AHEM. VEGGIES! *Cough*)

Omg i love hamdan. Especially hamdan in mooncake. *delighted*

But speaking of porridge, i’m angry leh! Because KY told me got such thing called fried porridge (bubur goreng). I was like WTF. Seriously, what turf is wrong with you (ok, we) human??? Why must human attempt to fry anything fryable AND unfryable?

They just think frying something ordinary will make it extraordinary. WTF. Fried ice cream, fried porridge. PUI.

In Scotland they have like, fried Mars Bars. And fried pizza. No wonder they are the fattest population or whatever. Zong zi something to do with fattest la. Pizza already so damn oily summore want to fry it wor. It’s damn stupid la. Human attempt to make unhealthy food (like pizza) even more unhealthy by frying it AND attempt to make healthy food (like porridge) more unhealthy by frying it FML.

Ok i shut up. I’m turning into one of those self righteous people i hate.

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Ok la tell you a secret.

My mom is so cute! That day hor she attempted to cook risotto for me, but she has not eaten one before and had no idea how to cook it. But she is very genius anyway so i thought she would figure it out by herself. So i just chilled and blogged.

Then half way cooking she thought to herself, hmmm, why so sticky and watery one? She thought she major fail, so she attempted to rectify the mistake. See! She’s a serious cook like that!

AND THEN!

She failed to cook the risotto until dry unsuccessfully.

(I know you need to digest the last sentence. Fine. i give you time.)

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Meaning, in the end we were eating fried arborio rice la.

END.

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