I never quite got people who are addicted to Snapchat because I thought it was quite a rubbish app (either it really is or I’m getting too old for social media lol). First of all it is impossible to navigate and secondly, it is all made of snippets that’s not qualified to make it to an actual Instagram video. PLUS it gets deleted the very next day so what exactly is the point of it ah?
People who are popular on SC are probably super celebs, or really have a life so interesting that everyone doesn’t want to miss a single second following it. Unfortunately for me I’m stuck in between. My life is neither entertaining enough to be broadcasted every minute live to the whole world, nor boring enough for me to want to waste it away watching other people’s snaps. (To spend 2 minutes watching how an acquaintance turns into a dog and lick the screen from various different angles? No thanks. I rather change 15 diapers instead HAHAHA).
And then Instagram Story came. I was quite excited because finally I get to try this whole snappy chatty thing out without surrendering myself to downloading yet another social media app to get me busier.
And then I failed miserably. And here’s why:
1. There’s no way I can do one of those pretty selfie snaps BECAUSE YOU NEED TO KEEP PRESSING THE RECORD BUTTON. While holding phone vertically. All with one hand.
And both my hands are full. Almost always.
Just a very extreme example lol.
2. I need more time. Not a nice snap? Go over and record again until you get the perfect snap. Erm… Also, Junya may drop into the pool while I draw something cute or input some text after snapping him. (Not literally.)
3. My Instagram Story is for people who want to feel better about themselves. Cleaning up spilled juice again? Yeap. At least I get to visit the park to catch Goldeens.
So, I was reading a Japanese parenting book on how to be an “Anyhow Mother” (by the way their “anyhow” is totally not anyhow at all -_-. Expectation too different haha), and the author mentioned that one of the best things you can do for yourself in order not to stress about parenthood is not to compare your parenting life with those you follow on social media. Because social media is all for boasting. Friend posting family photo taken at Disneyland over the weekend while all you did was wiping spit-ups. Mommy friend cooked a great feast and you fed your toddler canned tuna. Other friends had fun dressed up at a party and you are stuck home wiping spit-ups… again.
But how true is that. Every single thing someone posts on social media is mostly for boasting their meaningful and happy life. You don’t really post about spilled juice do you? Let me scroll through my feed now. Ah. Coffee with coffee art at hipster cafe (I’m cool.). Bikini #ootd at the beach (check out my workout efforts and praise me now). Romantic dinner (my BF is better than yours). Just made a donation! (tell me what a great person I am). Selfie (I have a face).
Yeap. I have my own fair share of showing off too. Let me do some extra boasting today, with screenshots of my Instagram Story, in case you missed out watching my awesome and exciting life.
My Instagram Story
(What a lovely morning.)
(I woke up looking like this. Huh, what make up? Why would I put on make up when I stay home the whole day?)
(I cook great meals for my kids everyday with great nutritional balance. They love it. You will never see me when I secretly feed them canned tuna.)
(Just showing what a great cook I am. It’s never unhygienic or dangerous to chop with one hand and press your phone with another hand.)
(I care about my kids health, except when they ask me for french fries. And Kit Kat. And beer. Ah just kidding.)
(I just absolutely love to sound as if I know what I’m talking about.)
(I am an amazing cook. 1 out of 68 times.)
(I can cook rice.)
(I multitask like a champion.)
(My house is even neater and cleaner than yours. Oh wait. Do you even have kids?)
(I’m as good as your maid.)
(I am simply a multitask champ and I love to say it more than once.)
(My toddler’s meal totally looks this good. EVERY TIME.)
(During my free time I read intellectually stimulating books with my kids. I will never shove them an iPad while I catch my own Pokemons.)
(We are fun.)
(Even when there’s nothing else to do I hold meaningful conversations with my kids.)
(Erm this just… never happened. Ok I gotta delete this snap. It was supposed to show how smart my kid was, not how he spilled his juice.)
(Ok but if it ever happens, the first thing my son fetches is the sanitizer. We teach about hygiene at home.)
(Overall he did a great job helping me clean up by placing various things such as a post card on the wet patch. Thank you baby. Why waste money hiring maids? Also, my house doesn’t look like that. The mess is just your own imagination.)
(Cooked my husband’s dinner. I am a good wife as long as he never finds out that the hamburg is actually store-bought frozen and the Gudetama is a digital stamp.)
Yeap that’s my Instagram Story. How about yours?
Now praise me.