I can’t sleep. At 2am.

Got so many sheep mooing around but my math sucks! I need a freaking calculator! Eh wait. Sheep don’t moo. Bah.

I think i slept too much yesterday. I swear to myself (of course i’m God, what are you talking about) the flu med is making me drowsy, but i can’t sleep.

I’m recovering well, but i just hit a new low in my life. I’m 37kg ++. (Eh what am i talking about. No no, not in my life. When i was born i was only 7lbs).

I think i’m slowly disappearing. By the rate of how my weight is diminishing every day, i will be gone by December. (If my calculation is correct. (Then again my math sucks.)) (Oh my God, i mean, Oh Myself, i’m so annoying! I keep typing in brackets!! Go away!! (((())))))) Would anyone chip in for a nice place in Nilai Memorial Park for me? Wait. You don’t even have my appendix to bury. Who am i kidding.

Arrgh i think i sort zhor la!!! Must be the flu med!!! *inhale, focus, focus, God cannot get sick one*

When i blog at night hor, especially wee hours (why ah, people with small bladders always wake up middle of the night is it?) like this, you see, my alter cheesego has gotten the better of me (is it a good thing? because the majority is better now(see i’m doing the bracket thing again!!!)). But i dunno which alter cheesego la. And i’m not even drunk. If anything it’s the flu med. Maybe next time you should try. Cheaper than shroom. HAHAHA

I got advert to write but i can’t seem to focus!! Arggh!

Then i suddenly thought of this question hor. Actually a lot of funny things happened in my Japanese class! My teacher is so funny.

He told us nowadays Japanese people like to speak incorrect Japanese on purpose. For example, the correct way of saying “i don’t know” is “wakarimasen” or “wakaranai” or “wakannai” or even “wakaran” is accepted. But nowadays people purposely say “wakarinai”. HAHAHA not funny meh?

Then i asked him why. He thought for awhile, he couldn’t answer me.

Then i told him, eh, in English also we do that. We always say “i is hungry” (sometimes i say i is hunger, please tell me you say that too! eh dammit please stop me from the bracket thing) and like, “i can has cheezburger”! Hahaha. Then he asked me why. Then i thought for awhile, i couldn’t answer him. -_-

He also said, nowadays in Japan people shorten a phrase to such an extent, when “arigatougozaimasu” become “azas”. Honto! Eh, i mean, it’s real!!! SO funny!

Then i told him, we also say “you eat d not” instead of “you eat already or not”. He also find it so amusing! And then he told us when he was buying things, a Malay seller (my Japanese teacher can speak Malay!! So cool! (Ok i give up)) told him “duplo”. He was like, wtf is duplo right. Then he found out that it’s dua puluh! HAHAHHA.

Then then then! I told him i love puns and asked him if there’s any funny puns in Japanese. He told us when he was doing translation in a meeting (my teacher so talented! (Oi, stoppit!)), he couldn’t translate this following supposed joke by a senior Japanese.

An angmoh commented he cannot eat raw fish. So the Japanese guy said, “cannot eat raw fish, then eat high fish la!”

HAHAHHAHAHA

Geddit geddit? Please tell me you geddit omg.

To Japanese people, RAW and LOW is the same!!! HAHAHAHHAHA

Then hor then hor. He told us, nowadays young people like to invent new words. For example, how they verbalize…eh wrong. how do you say turning a noun into a verb? Verbize? Wtf. Nemai. How they make a noun into a verb and it became a pun too!

You know the basic verb rule right (okay you don’t. nevermind. so late oredi nobody’s gonna listen to me anyway.) Like, Taberu, shaberu.. errr.. dunno? Ok how bout, aishiteru? Anyway.. wait. Omg i just made a pun!!! basic ru!!! geddit? please tell me you do!!!

Anyway! Google, Trouble are nouns right. Now they became verbs. How?

Gu-ga-ru

To-ra-bu-ru

(Juubun gugatta kedo, mada wakaranai)
(ano hito wa, mata torabutta)

HAHAHHAHAHAHHA isn’t it so funny?!??! HAHHAHA

Ok why am i laughing alone.

Anyway. Teacher also asked if we can speak proper mandarin. I said yes but different from the mainland and Taiwanese and even east Malaysia’s mandarin. He asked how does it sound like. I said it sounds like crap. Then he asked if we know we are speaking crap Mandarin i said yes. All Malaysian Chinese know and can speak proper Mandarin but they don’t. They like to speak crap mandarin. He asked why. I said… what did i say already…

Oh! I said, because we are so used to speaking like that!! For example, eat, do you actually say 吃饭 (CHI1 FAN4)? You don’t! You say, 刺饭 (CI4 FAN4) (admit it). But you know 刺饭 (CI4 FAN4) is wrong! Some even worse. I have a lot of friends from this particular state (i dowan to say where, cuz the last time i favored ipoh i kena flamed by penang readers), they actually say 厕饭 (CE4 FAN4)!!! HAHAHA!

Then teacher laughed! He asked why liddat one! I said it’s just liddat! The only time you can actually hear proper mandarin is on TV news or radio stations. Then again i wonder hor, the news announcer or DJ, when he/she goes back home right, does he/she talk in proper Mandarin ah? So weird right!! Just try saying 吃饭 (CHI1 FAN4) to your friend! They will think you overly semangat Beijing Olympics liao.

Then my teacher say liddat ma very jialat (he didn’t say jialat la, but equivalent of jialat in Japanese!), because then can make a lot of mistakes! Then he took a marker and started writing on the white board (omg his kanji is so perfect! (ok i promise this is the last sub bracket))

一碗水饺多少钱 (how much is a bowl of dumplings)
一晚睡觉多少钱 (how much to sleep [with you] for one night)

The PINYIN exactly the same except the intonation! HAHAHA my teacher so funny!!! He also learn alot that day! From me! Yay.

Ok la that’s all. Let me suffer alone.

I’m sorry. When i’m high on drugs (flu med is drug no? Please tell me it is) i speak reaaaally i mean i type reaaaally bad england. Pardon me.

Ok typing actually helps. Now is 3.07am. I took so long because i was laughing at my own entry. I think i’m really cheeseen liao. I is sleepful now. Goonai. All zero of you who is reading this.