Today we celebrate our third wedding anniversary.
We spent our first anniversary in a Hakone ryokan with an extra family member in my belly.
We spent the second anniversary in our little apartment in Japan, eating combini-bought Christmas cake and other assorted tapao from food market, with our 6-month old Junya.
This year, we are in our newly rented apartment in Singapore, trying to adjust to our new temporarily life in a new city, with the 18 month old Junya, and a 19 weeks old baby in the belly.
I cannot even to begin to describe how typing this out make me super sentimental. It’s the pregnancy hormones i swear.
How am i going to repay all these amazing things and luck i have in my life all these years? And repay who?
We go back to Hakone quite often and sometimes Bangkok to give thanks to all our wishes that came true. Is that enough? Will we eventually luck out? What is the catch for having it all? Or do we just be kind and thankful enough and we will continue to be blessed?
Recently, though, the danna and i have been fighting a bit. Wait that’s not true. Let me rephrase. I have been trying to fight with my husband. (Ok now that just makes me sound like a complete psycho) But he will never fight back. Ever. I suspect he doesn’t know how fights work. He just gives me space and let me eventually calm down and be okay again. So basically i’m fighting with myself. About my husband. Who doesn’t fight. And sometimes i get angry that i have such an unfighty husband.
But that’s probably how we stayed married quite peacefully all these 3 years. Because i have no one to fight with. But mainly because i am always the one who is more of an ass. And pregnant. I blame pregnancy hormones again. (Always blame the babies!!!)
At the end of a fight (with myself), it almost always dawn on me that the reason is always because i am not grateful enough to realize how i have not seen the things he has done for me that he has never told and will never tell me. He’s not only not very fighty, he’s also not very telly. (Yes i know that telly is not a word. Wait, i think it is. But not used this way, probably. Sorry about it. I’m not a very thesaurusy person.)
The way he shows his love for me is not through carefully selected Xmas surprises in a glossy ribbony box over mushy LINE stickers. In fact, he doesn’t show it at all. He just does it quietly, without ever expecting me to find out or thank him for it (if i do then it’s a lucky day for him!). I had to find out accidentally that he cancelled countless of important meetings so that he could spend some time with me in Japan (he didn’t tell me about those meetings). I had to hear from other friends that he went through extra miles after spending days viewing many many many different properties to make sure the apartment we are staying in Singapore is for my utmost convenience (he just said, look, i found one that’s not bad, what do you think?). I have come to realize that all his excruciating headaches were from staying up too late to think of the best life he could provide for his family and work (he just told me it’s insomnia).
Sometimes i wish he’d tell me more about what’s going on in his head. I felt like i had to screw open a panel on his scalp to peek inside. But i also realize that is a very selfish thought. Because all i need to is just try to think more like him. To understand how he feels during certain situations and predict the actions he’d take. “If i’m the danna now, what would i do?”. Maybe i have but i also have been reluctant to try to do what i think he’d do. Because more often than not it would involve some extent of sacrifice, and a colossal amount of generosity and selflessness. I’m no where near his level yet.
But if i do that, then i’ll be less of an ass. And less fighty with myself.
Yesterday i found out that we are having a girl.
I was so nervous from the day i found out i was pregnant but tried to not show it online and just go with the standard “aiya son or daughter also doesn’t matter la, as long as baby is healthy!”. But secretly wished so so so so hard that it would be a girl. I guess i have to go back to Hakone again now.
The danna said to me before i did the ultrasound scan. “Isn’t it scary? If it turns out to be a girl, your life is perfect”.
It is indeed.
Here’s to many more anniversaries to come, and Merry Xmas to all of you!
Merry Christmas Cheesie and congratulations! 😀
Thank you Mel! :))
I’ve been such a long reader of yours ever before you met danna (previously Kareshi)
So happy that you’ve moved to Singapore and I hope you really like it here 🙂 Congratulations on your 3rd anniversary and I’ve seen how much you have grown since then and I’m so happy for you! My kareshi and I are having our 3rd year anniversary too today. My Kareshi is half jap and he’s also not very telly and sometimes this makes me very frustrated trying to predict his actions, sometimes I just wish he would tell me. I wonder if it’s a Japanese culture? But I decide to make peace with it and appreciate his actions and put in the same effort back for him and trust him, makes me feel a little better.
And congratulations on your baby girl!! Now you can dress her up in super kawaii clothings!!
Merry Christmas to you and your happy family!
Please blog more of your life stories when you’re free, I really enjoy reading it!
I wish you and your family all the happiness in the upcoming year! ^^
Hi Ella, thanks so much for sharing your story with me too!! Yes i think it’s partly because of cultural differences. Most Japanese men i know are not telly at all hahhaa. But since your kareshi is half i think he should also have a half-half culture experience! I have read some relationship books in Japanese and it really did help to understand 🙂
congrats Cheesie, Junya will be having a sis very soon! Merry Christmas and enjoy your brand new year in Singapore 🙂
Thank you Fish! I’m so excited! 🙂
Merry Christmas & Congrats, Ring!!! Kick off your shoes, lean back & enjoy the perfectness of life! Kisses
Thank you Cin!!!!!! All the same to you! I hope you have a super awesome new year!!
Happy anniversary to you both and congratulations on the pregnancy news! 🙂
Enjoy Singapore, it’s an awesome city. Merry Christmas!
Thank you for always being so supportive :’))
One day i hope i can visit your country 😀
A girl!!!! Best Anniversary and Xmas present!
Yes!!!!! YOU NEXT!!!
I really admire your husband, even from the beginning before junya was born, after junya was born. I don’t know him, but he really really is such a great person. have you watched “aloha” with bradley cooper. rachel mc adams husband there woody is like your husband, I guess. such a great man. and i really really excited that it is a little girl! so so can’t wait to see little cheesie 😍😍😍❤️❤️
Hi Ayn, yes i have watched Aloha and that’s what i thought too!!! But i doubt he’d be the same if finds out Junya is not his son lolol (he is. just to set the record straight hahahah). Thank you so much :))
Congratulations! Merry Christmas and may it be a great year ahead for you!
Same to you too Sue Lyn!!!
merry christmas cheesie! i feel so so so happy for you because your life really is indeed perfect! congrats on your baby girl <3 i hope to bump into you one of the days you are in singapore hehe. i also can't wait to try out number 76 at orchard gateway!!!! am so excited for you, merry christmas once again and happy new year! 🙂
Please come!!! Let me know if you need help with an appointment!! 😀
always read your blog but never comment congrats to have a girls 🙂 hope your life will always like you wish *love*
Thanks so much Caro!!!
So happy for you and your family! I think that if i get pregnant i would want a girl as well. You really do have the perfect life! I can’t wait to see all the cute things you will dress her in.
Happy Holidays <3
Me too me too!! Finally i can buy pink things! Thanks Nicole and happy holidays to you too!
Congratulations cheesie! now your life is indeed perfect! Merry Xmas to you and hope you can adapt to Singapore life soon.
Thank you Isabelle!! I hope so too! ^^
Happy for you! I always read your blog!
Im 18 weeks pregnant so glad that i can relate with you! Hahaah
omg i teared up at the end when you said you were having a girl.. I am so happy for you that your life and family is so wonderful! I have been reading your blog since high school and now i graduated college. congratulations and happy holidays.
Your Dana is exactly like my ❤️ Hahaha! He doesn’t fight back!! Awh your life is perfect cheesie! Always make me smile when I read your blogpost! Keep spreading your happy spirit! 😊😊😊
Congratulations Cheesie! And welcome to Singapore!