When life gives you a lemon…

February 26, 2006 in The Stinky Cheese

 
Laycheese and Gentlecheese, today the Ringoism Guru would like to tell you a story about the origin of the Ringoism’s Lemon Cheese Day, which falls on the 25th of February every year.
 

Once upon a time, a Chamomile cheese (originally camel-milk cheese, somehow being altered due to Cheesie’s mispronounciation) had two free tickets to Pink Panther and invited Miss Cheesie for a movie date. Even Cheesie didn’t fancy the idea of watching any you-slap-me-then-i-slap-stick” and “wohaha-look-that’s-so-farnie-the-guy-gets-hit-in-the-face-with-a-custard-pie comedy, she decided not to waste two pieces of printed paper that were worth RM20, and secretly prayed that the movie’d better be less crappy than Big Mama’s House 2

 

So Parmie duly swallowed Camel (I lazy to type Chamomile so camel will do, sorry for that ficklemindedness but I guess it should be notorious enough for you to have known about it already) and regurgitated him in front of Jusco Seremban 2.

Before the movie started, Cheesie had this sudden craving for some munchies.

But the thing is, she’d just had her lunch, and munching on munchies after lunch is against a new rule of her religion. Therefore, the kindhearted Camel was there to help strengthen Cheesie’s will power to resist munchies by tempting her with naming all kinds of cheesy food in the universe.

 

However, that only made it worse. Cheesie went almost delirious. Every freaking corner of the mall suddenly smelled of food. Even the chopped hair in the saloon smelled edible to her.

 

Then out of the yellow, the sympathetic Camel said,

“Let’s do it this way. If you can find any food that is made of lemon-cheese, you can have it for your munchies okay.”

“Oh My God, Lemon Cheeeeeese?!?” Cheesie exclaimed, eyes wide-opened.

 

As soon as Cheesie mentioned the phrase “lemon cheese”, the whole mall suddenly shone so bright under a yellow halo and smelled like a gigantic piece of melting lemon cheese with a bursting citrus flavor.

Suddenly, a handsome young man who looked like his last name could be Santoro appeared in front of Camel and Cheesie out of no where.

 

“Who the camel are you?” Camel freaked out.

“I’m God la! Duh.” replied the handsome young man in a snobby tone.

“Don’t bluff wei!” Camel was taken aback in utter disbelief.

“I’m the God of Lemon Cheese. Check this out man, it glows in the dark dude,” said the Santoro lookalike, pointing at the florescent yellow robe he was wearing.

“Uhm.. okay.. but but but…” Camel stumbled suspiciously.

“Wait la haijor don’t la interrupt me,” said the self-professed God, looking slightly annoyed.

 

He then fumbled around in his pocket and took out a piece of paper. He cleared his throat a bit, turned around and looked at Cheesie, and started reading the paper out loud.

 


“Dear lucky girl. I heard my name called, and guess what, it’s
LEMON CHEESE O’CLOCK!! I now bestow upon you the divine lemon,”
said God, taking out a huge juicy lemon from another pocket and handing it to Cheesie.

“You can use it to ask for any three Lemon cheese items of your
desire and it shall be fulfilled,”
continued God.

Cheesie seemed completely stunned for a minute, then took over the citrus fruit, agape in amazement.

I think the God of Lemon Cheese must have owed Cheesie a super duper big favor in their previous lives (do Gods have many lives? Okay never mind that, I’m sure the God of Lemon Cheese just loves Cheesie to the max).

But you think God really so nice meh? Of course, there’s a catch.

“However, against your three wishes, you will have to fulfill one wish of mine,” God continued.

Overwhelmed by her unbelievable luck, Cheesie nodded frantically while gazing at the shining lemon on her plams in absolute intoxication, seeming oblivious to what God had just said.


“I want Lemon Cheese chocolate!”
requested Cheesie in an eager excitement, almost short of breath.


“Done,”
said God, pointing to Cheesie’s left .

Cheesie turned to her left.

Omilemoncheese it was a whole stack of limited edition Lemon Cheesecake Flavored KitKat !!

Cheesie jumped up and down gleefully and exclaimed,

“I want Lemon Cheese ice cream!”

“Done,” said God, pointing to Cheesie’s right this time.

Cheesie looked to her right.

OMFC it was a whole truckful of La Cremeria’s Lemon Cheesecake Bliss!

Delighted, Cheesie proceeded to making her last wish,

“Hmm… I’ve got Lemon Cheese choccie, Lemon Cheese ice cream. Hmm…I want Lemon Cheesecake!!”

“Done too,” said God, pointing to the direction behind Cheesie.

Cheesie turned around and saw a big banner.

Holy Lemon!

Cheesie was so overwhelmed she almost shed tears in joy.

“Now it’s my turn to make my wish,” said God.

Cheesie freaked out. Being a typical Aries, She always did things on an impulse without thinking twice about the possible consequences. Now she kinda regretted agreeing to God’s offer.

“Shit la this time, what if he wants me to give him a BJ?” Cheesie thought to herself, worried.

“What… what do you want?!” asked Cheesie, sweating profusely.

God then whispered into Cheesie’s ear.

Cheesie listened and nodded accordingly, looking slightly more relieved.

“Now, go enjoy your lemon cheese, my child,” God smiled at Cheesie, then vanished into lemon air.

There, lucky Cheesie picked her first treat and shared it with Camel.

Lucky Cheesie had her cheesecake and ate it too!!

This is, VERY the CHEESY

This is, DOUBLE the CHEESY

This is, the ULTIMATE TRIPLE CHEESY

Working on the formula

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After done dancing around in an arabic camel costume and spilling some lemon juice (read: lame jokes) (yea, I know it sounds lame, but it should be lame because that’s why it is lame) to Cheesie, the curious Camel asked Cheesie,

“eh, just now what did God say to you?”

Cheesie, with her mouth full of lemon cheesecake, replied,

“Oh, he wanted me to make the 25th of Feb every year the Day of Lemon Cheese to commemorate this meaningful day lor.”

“That’s all?!” Camel almost fell off his chair.

“Got summore wan. He asked me to blog about him la.”

“-_- …… ”

“Oh ya. He also said I must refer him as a handsome
Santoro-lookalike wor.”

“……..”


And that was the origin of Ringoism’s Lemon Cheese Day.

Thank you for reading.

Lesson of the day:
When life gives you a lemon, what do you do?
Why, make some lemon cheese of course!! =D