They are all cheesy horror movies i wished i hadn’t watched.

Pardon the pun, of course.

Nowadays horror movies are either,

1. Utterly cheesy featuring actors with zero talent and have every single horror movie cliche on earth shamelessly recycled (spooky kid’s drawing of a family, shabby dark house miles away from civilization, parents that will never believe you, attempts to grab a weapon 1 inch beyond reach, a SEEMINGLY dead enemy who revives, and an incredibly predictable “shocking ending”) and a gazillion plot holes more than a swiss cheese can have.

or

2. Pointlessly disgusting and blatantly brutal in an attempt to gore you out of the cinema.

Either way it makes you wanna puke.

After watching The Hills have Eyes II (and chopped hands, headless bodies, splashing bloody innards, smashed face by an axe),

Me: “Cheez this is the mostest disgustingest movie ever. I wanna throw up.”
Gary: “Let’s go eat steak.”

-_-|||

Don’t understand why they make those movies in the first place. Have they got no brains? The worst horror films i’ve ever watched include: (Some are stupid beyond human conception you remember them forever, the rest are so completely forgettable i had to IMDB them.)

Jeeper Creepers, White Noise, Creep, Turistas, BOOGEYMAN (Oh kill me please), and WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (OMFC kill me twice please).

Prior to the production, have they, for a second, sat down and thought if their stories actually make any sense? Or do they all go like, “OMFG i had another case of bad diarrhea last night after eating that cream cheese pasta for lunch. Okay, i think i’m going to make a horror film based on cheese. Hmm..that should work. No one has ever scared people with cream cheese before. Okay, i’m gonna call up Paris Hilton right now and see if she’s interested.

Oh yea?

I guess i can do better.

What’s the worst horror movie you have seen in your life?

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