Ugliest bags in the world

June 20, 2007 in Cheese-offs

And i thought a price tag under you high heels was the biggest fashion faux pas you can ever commit.

Until i saw these bags.


Ugliest bag in the world.

I haven’t seen anyone carry these ugly piece of… of.. of… of… zippers, and i doubt anyone would ever buy them (if you, unfortunately, have one or more in your wardrobe, very the no offense, i’m terribly sorry for your taste [or the lack thereof] in fashion), because the stalls selling them are shooing flies all the time. Okay that was just an expression. I supposed even flies won’t get near the ugly things if they can see clearly with their compound eyes.

 

I asked my friends if they think the bags are ugly and to my surprise (and horror, that so many people have tolerance so great to actually accept something aesthetically illegal!), a lot of them replied, “not as ugly as you claim they are la, haiyo”.

BUT! I know, omc how do i explain this. I mean, they are not like, you know, Kirsten-Dunst-ugly, but they are super mega ultra annoying! Like like like… remember those silicone wrist bands everyfreakingone wore sometime back?

Ooooooh myyyyyyy cheeeeese, i HATE those with a passion! It would be more aptly designed if it were created for stray dogs. (Yes i know it’s for charity! I don’t wanna go into that now, anyway, it still hurts my heart eyes that they design something so fatally ugly in the name of charity.)

Anyway! back to the bags. I asked Porkie if they have it in UK, and he told me that awhile ago his mom picked one up at a car boot sales for… £0.20 (RM1.40). And here they are selling RM69.90.

I pity the fella trying to sell them, he was so enthusiastic, like they were some magic wallet that can produce money everytime you unzip them. Granted, it would sell as a gimmicky thing if he could find a good pitch. But hellllll, what are you gonna do with it? Say, maybe it doubles as a bag and a spare set of zippers if you ever need to repair trousers. Or like, you can wear it as a belt as a fashion statement. Maybe for those in a certain trade, you can wear it as a tube top and unzip teasingly when you strip. How about using them as emergency bandages if you’ve cut yourself or as a sling if you’ve dislocated your arm.

 
WHAT A BRILLIANT, VERSATILE BAG!
 

I might (might hor) buy one out of compassion (hey! give some credit to hardworking salesmen), but will never, ever, cheesever, carry it with me. Just like how i might buy those wristbands to save a dying cancer patient, but they will just sit in my desk drawer and rot to eternity. And by the way! As if i cannot emphasize enough, it’s the stupidest thing to jump on the silicone band-wagon! (Lame pun, i know, but so are the stupid bands!!!666)

 
 


They insane zip-it girls who preach ugliness.

 
 


The fashion industry breakthrough. Goes well with nothing but nothing at all.

 
 


Comes in duck-shit green too. Simply goegeous.

 
 

“It is a unique and innovative bag that is changing the fashion industry and the concept of handbags.”

Is the introduction of one of its websites.

 

Changing the fashion industry!! Omc.

They mean, giving a whole new definition to the phrase “UGLY BAG”?

 
 


Hip Zip! They are asking you to zip your ass up so that no more bullshit can come out from it.

 
 

“It has revolutionized the idea that a bag should come assembled.”

Who the cheese would bring a dismantled bag (read: a loooooooooooong zipper) around? It’s not like you’re going camping. So yea this zipper bag is so great it comes in great shape so great your great grandmother will secretly wish to receive for her birthday present.

 
 

“The Original Zipper Bag™ is a long strip of zipper, that when zipping, becomes a beautiful handbag. The bags look beautiful, cool and special.”

*pukes* *chokes on own puke* *dies*

*resuscitates self and wakes up*

Before i die i’d like to have my last words.

Just imagine everyfreakingone in the street is carrying one of these bags (sort of like how the gorgeous LeSportsac bags became insanely annoying when Petaling Street started selling them), have the image with you and pass the message on to your grandchildren in your will (if they ever last that long la! Which i doubt with all my sincere heart!).

Please don’t buy the zipper bags, i’m bagging you (okay i’m being lame, just to be consistent with the subject discussed today).

 
 
 

 
 

 

P/S: Forgive me! This is an angry post on one of my PMS days, and i needed a scapecheese to vent my cheeseenness on. Zip-it™ is innocent. It’s the coolest bag i’ve ever seen in my entire cheesy life. Please support it with all your money. Thank you.