Tragic experience in a porn theatre

February 7, 2009 in Japan / The Stinky Cheese

Osaka is a strange city. I’ve witnessed the most disturbing scene in my life when i went to Osaka one day.

osaka8 by you.

But i will come to that later.

It was a sunny but very cold day. In the afternoon it snowed a little.

Osaka is full of strange people. It is said to be the dodgiest place in Japan. I didn’t believe it.

osaka1 by you.

And dirty too. I didn’t believe it.

osaka2 by you.

We went to Shinsaibashi (心斎橋) at night. Which is the best shopping place in Osaka.

osaka6 by you.

Which is where i bought my 1000 Yen gorgeous heels. Soooo many people.

And then hor, you must must must go to this indian curry shop.

osaka5 by you.

Ya, it’s called Indian Curry. And it’s so small and completely missable. I dunno how to guide you, but it’s nearby Shinsaibashi!

There are prolly only like, 7 or 8 stools around the bar table. But the curry rice was just…

osaka4 by you.

700 Yen for white rice + curry + an egg on top. That’s all. I swear it’s good. A little sweet (amaguchi) at first, but after the first few mouthful it was just perfect.

osaka3 by you.

Forget about Coco Ichiban.

Still hungry, we went for snacks.

osaka7 by you.

Best takoyaki in the world.

And then we went home.

Oh ya, the tragic experience actually happened on the day we went to Tsūtenkaku. But because i have too much to blog about it, i will tell you my tragic experience separately, which is now.

It’s liddis one.

osaka9 by you.

So we saw this Porn Theatre, and wanted to watch (!!!).

I was also curious, so we both paid 800 Yen each and walked in. Apparently you can watch as long as you want, because they will keep rotating the AVs, you watch until you get sextified.

As soon as we entered the theatre, we regretted.

It was old, dodgy, and smelly.

I suddenly had very bad vibes about this place. I dunno where the smell came from!! I suddenly pictured thousands of stinky horny bald old hentai men (with itchy, hairy balls) jerking themselves off in the theatre, and their semen spilled all over the seat, hence the unpleasant odor.

But since we were in already might as well watch la! Right now i feel a need to explain and illustrate the hall in detail.

porntheatre1 by you.

Imagine this is the theatre la. Of course not so pretty. I added dirt and flies to illustrate the smelliness.

porntheatre2 by you.

So we sat down (ewww). On the big theatre screen, the hero was already ******* the heroine’s *****.

There were maybe a total of 10 or 12 people in the entire theatre, i assumed they were all stinky horny bald old hentai men (with itchy, hairy balls) who planned on jerking themselves off in the theatre.

So then we spotted a strange couple sitting about three rows in front of us.

porntheatre3 by you.

It was an old man (in yellow), with grey hair, so i assumed he was about 50-60 years old. Next to him was this woman (in blue) with a BIG HAT. They sat next to each other, watching and concentrating on the hero ****** the heroine’s *****.

But then 2 minutes later, something very disturbing happened…

porntheatre4 by you.

The man sat nearer and nearer to the woman, and started whispering into her ears in such an intimate manner it was only appropriate in, ironically, an AV movie. For a moment i thought she was a hooker who followed the man into the theatre for “work”.

At this moment, TK nudged me to watch and we already couldn’t take our eyes off them, completely ignoring the theatre screen.

Then the impossible happened.

porntheatre5 by you.

The man went down on the woman.

His head completely disappeared from the seat, and right now we could see the woman’s hat moving up and down, her back arched back and forth.

porntheatre6 by you.

(How turf is it possible?!??!)

The rest of the audience seemed to notice it, and they all turned around to watch. Nobody seemed to pay attention to the big screen, although now the heroine was ****** the hero’s ***** with a *****. Then again, we’ve got live action in the threatre, who gives a **** about the porn!!!!

But the strange couple didn’t seem to care. They continued doing what they did. Only this time, the woman started to let out a little moan. TK and I exchanged a glance, both aghast, and froze in disbelief.

If by now you think whatever we witnessed was disturbing enough, you are so. dead. wrong.

What happened next, or rather, what we discovered next, was the mostest, disturbingest scene one could ever see in a theatre.

It didn’t strike us until the woman started moaning louder and louder. I think she came.

Guess what happened.

Guess.

Guess.

Guess.

Guess.

Guess.

Guess.

Guess.

Guess.

Well. Nothing happened.

The woman was moaning. Except that…

It wasn’t a woman’s voice.

It was a man’s.

A man.

He was wearing such a big hat we couldn’t tell that he was a he.

You tell me. What could be more disturbing than watching two MIDDLE AGE GAY MEN HAVING SEX IN A THEATRE?

porntheatre7 by you.

They left the cinema after some cleaning up (i know la cuz i heard plastic and tissue noise). I could see them clearly then. Both men are in their 50s or 60s.

TK and I couldn’t bear to stay in that disgusting place a second longer. Not to mention i kinda got molested by this stinky horny bald old hentai men (with itchy, hairy balls) on the way out. He didn’t molest la, but he gave me this grotesque, hamsup glare as i walked out, and when i passed him by he suddenly gave a heavy pat on my left shoulder and shouted something in Japanese which i was too shocked to remember.

Then he ran away. I almost cried and i kept having this paranoid feeling that my left shoulder was itchy. TK brought me to game center to cheer me up.

I swear i will never go to a porn threatre in Osaka ever again.

ARRRGH.

(Maybe i will go to the ones in Tokyo next time.)

160 people cheesed “Tragic experience in a porn theatre”

  1. Wow!!! disbelief.

  2. Ewwwww!

  3. Whoa!~ That’s a bad experience you have to watch two old guys to ‘play’ with each others. God!

  4. WTFFFFF WHY SO DISGUSTING !!! Some more you had to be touched by the other disgusting old man if i were you seriously i would wanna cry too T________T *Hugs

  5. oh my god @_@ really disturbing weh !

  6. OH MY HOLY GOD THAT IS SOOOO GROSS CHEESIE!!! ooops, rin. :P

  7. ew if i were there i puke already!

  8. OH GOD that’s like the single most disturbing story i’ve ever heard. Ok second. first is the two girl one cup thing.

  9. Ok i just completely lost my appetite for the curry rice and takoyaki.

  10. errrrrrr….wat did he shouted when he tap on ur shoulder??

  11. holy s***! i can’t imagine that you sit through the entire ‘drama’ happens… wooo.. 50-60s gay mens giving bj…

  12. This one reminds me of the Xiaxue going to Porn cinema in Singapore thing.

    I bet you feel awkward mannn

  13. ewwwww~~ ewwwwwww~~ ewwwwwwwwwwww~~~~~~ XP~~ puking puking!!! EWWWW!! (gosh, that’s all I can describe my feeling~ XD) now i do not even want to go to Osaka! >.<

    btw, MORE Nihon postssss, onegai!! It’s fun to learn about it from you!!

  14. yokattana wtf..LOLL~!!!!

  15. *tries to tahan, but*

    HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA OMBBBBB.

    Robb needs to read this.

  16. omg. ewwwness! just eww eww eww. gawd, thts just so disgusting! T_T

  17. Wa. What the are u guys doing on a sat night here.

  18. yee~~~~ i tot should be very exciting.. .. who knows… yucky!!!
    and your shoulder? yuck~~~ need to put alot of dettol d!! haha

  19. EGAD!!
    thats disgusting :(

  20. Seems like if want to see strange peoples and good curry must visit Osaka…
    Now I know why the theatre is stinky…

  21. Oh my god, cheesie!
    This is sooooooo scary.
    I mean the man who gave you a heavy pat.
    Besides that, it’s so disgusting to see this kind of situation in a location like that.
    My god, Japanese society. -.-
    I can’t imagine myself in your situation.
    I would be so irritated.
    don’t dare to think about it. haha.
    I think you must be careful next time ba. :)

  22. Eee,y they r like tat?!Indecent act. -_-

  23. LOL!! This post is super funny wey!! I enjoyed viewing each and every pictures that you drew!! LOL!! Nice one!! Hahaha……

  24. HAHAHAHAHAH even though I heard it, still damn funny – itchy shoulder hahahah.

  25. Oh ya I forgot to tell you that I was in Japan that day in disguise.

    What I said was Toshiba Mitsubishi Kaitan Belt, which means “little girl, take care of yourself ok?”

    Sorry I freaked you out :’(

    I didn’t mean to.

  26. Tragedy in epic scale :S :S :S

  27. Eww…. Keep some disinfecting wipes (clorox brand) with you next time lar.

  28. I nearly burst out into laughter in dead silence. It’s now 5am and I’m now reading your blog. This is ohmygoodness-ly insane! Hahaha. GAY! 50-60′s!!! =___=

    Hey cheesie, think positively, maybe you should take it as an experience? :)

  29. errrr i don’t understand how ” His head completely disappeared from the seat, and right now we could see the woman’s hat moving up and down, her back arched back and forth.”

  30. Ahahahaha… such an ‘ewww’ experience!

  31. so nice that your bf actually lets you watch porn with him…my bf doesn’t even wanna watch it with me…weird guy… but umm…gay giving blowjob ain’t my cuppa tea… freaking gross… sometimes i think that jap’s dress up cooly like they are so trendy and stuff…but overdoing it sometimes

  32. lmao rinnnn (since u dont want the ringo again ^^)
    u guys had the guts even to go inside !
    crazy shit wht u2 experienced … in other tot, its kind sad n feel pity to have a life like tht.
    maybe, they actually ordinary married man with wife waiting at home – n they said, ok dear, im goin fishin .. cu later @__@

  33. Actually.. I wanna see smth like that.. never seen two old but gay men doing it in real life…
    If I do witness it for real, I’ll probably laugh…

  34. HOLY CRAP.
    two gays.
    omg.
    There’s tons of stuff like tis in the States.
    Damn disgusting.
    hahaaa

  35. that was grossly hilarious! omg shame on them, hahaha…

  36. omg omg omg.
    u should realy go to the one in amsterdam.
    its cleaner there.
    but its kinda like a live show thing.
    sexy women get ****ed live on stage.
    can u imagine?!?!?!

  37. Yerr……That was so disgusting! How could they? But, is it normal at Japan?

    I bet you will have “nite mare” on stepping into CINEMA again! :p

  38. my Jesus Christ this is an awesome experience no?! tho its a tragic wun la~ *hugs* Come we go buy Oprex.

  39. was up to read blogs *winks* especially yours which is a must-read everyday! anticipating for your other posts about JAPAN! :)

  40. こんにちはりんさん

  41. that was sickening >_>

    n im under 18 LOL XD wheeeee~

  42. it’s been a long time i visit ur blog but never leave a comment before! but tis post tempted me to leave some comments here!haha Japan is jz so great! but weird too!chhaha i’m learning japanese language now! hope tat i can cope wit it so tat i could go JAPAN for tour!!wau!!! great! however, r they really *making* ter??izit common in JAPAN?? oh gosh! haha

  43. Wah. Everyone has a picture ah. Let me see what mine is.

  44. hahaha.. funny experience, good blogging material lah.. :P i didnt hv such experience when i went to nihon.. but saw something similar in australia..

  45. Boy n sexy gurl watching porn n both not getting stimulated wit each other?
    Sumtings wrong wit both of u!

  46. hahahahah goodness got even such thing in Japan! truly a place with all kinds of fetish lolol.

    you both should have put plastic on top of your seats, no saying whats on top of it before

    eewwwww T______T

  47. LMAO this is one of your most amusing posts! <3 lololol i crackd up so hard! i can never watch porn without laughing my ass off, it’s outrageous, the kinda shiet they do in those things! :O lol

    • porn so funny meh!!! Ei i just read One Fith Avenue, there’s this character called Lola who went to New York, she’s super duper hot. :D Lola sounds like a hot name

  48. how was their reaction when they were done? satisfied? ashamed?

  49. omg. that was fucking disgusting and they’re like at like the olddd age. gross gross gross! i wonder if those two were totally oblivious about their surroundings. lmao!

    i think if i’d ever enter a porn theatre, i prolly need to hold my breath. or think twice before entering it. lolx. seeing that it actually smells that bad. O.o

    scary.

  50. wtf…i tot tat suppose to be an AV..they r being gay..how come can be turned on by bitches..lolz

  51. Hmm…interesting. Nice illustrations too. ;)

    Very VIVID (no pun intended)

    I’m more interested in the curry though. Is the egg raw? Or cooked?

  52. eeee… old couple shld just stay at home and not come out la… eeee

  53. errr…. is both gay japanese?? ;-p just wondering..

  54. omg.. that time in Tsūtenkaku, I took a wrong turn and saw the same gigantic poster with woman breasts (now i know it’s a theatre). wah piang was so horrified then because it was late and a transvestite-like person was watching us…

  55. OH MY HOLY GOOOOODDDDDD!

    DAMN GELI LAH WEIIII!

  56. iewwww… gross!

  57. live show. ><

    walao. that is so so so, unbelievable. -,,-

  58. omg, that is so like freaging disgusting..

    can you imagine if u seating on some whoever they are cement…yuck…

  59. wooo!!

    damn madness lo, 2 old basTards doing together! my ohhh my

  60. hahahaha!! that make total sense of why did the old man lean his head over!!
    YAMETE!!

  61. Haha!! I liked how you described the scene with the ‘guess’ buildup. Didn’t expect that at all! It made me laugh like a lunatic. lol.

  62. da wise man says:

    hey ringo! that was hilarous!!

    did ur shirt had the same smell as the theatre after that? i bet the man who patted ur shoulder must have wiped his c*m on you as he’d have on a chair!

  63. Omg. this is worse than the tiger show in Bangkok o.O

  64. Got such kind of Theater at Tokyo meh? Please tell me, coz I will be going there anytime soon again…

  65. wtf, they actually have porn theater in Japan.

  66. SWT, and I thought Japanese people are more conservative and will only do that at home. I saw an incident too, in a car in Australia, a car was parked beside a road with a few people walking by and I saw the girl giving the guy oral s*x as well. Then a pedestrian ran beside the car and took a picture of them using a handphone but they didn’t mind…. WTF Right?!!!???

  67. LOLLLLLLLLLLL.
    Must visit that place for myself once. xD
    Of course must have someone going with me to protect me la ._.
    hentai old mans. EWWW

  68. what’s so surprising? At least got free show to watch. This is Japan for you.

  69. really eww =.= Japanese attire really extreme! XD

  70. haha.This is funny, yet disgusting.lol

  71. Well, we never will have the chance to experience that in Malaysia. So, it’s worth the experience even though it’s not a good one. LOL. hen na ojisan lol.

  72. LOL that is just damn gross.
    Pity you had to witness such a thing hahaha

  73. Free entertainment rofl.. but that’s just X_X

  74. when everyone is ‘ewwing’ on this, i actually laughed! i think it’s really funny and this is a great experience. since you’ll be entering a porn theater, i think generally people will get horny. next time just shout out ‘go get a room!’ probably helps to avoid seeing such scene.

  75. wa. ahahhaaha so.. disturbing.!!! T_T. are they japanesee? ahahha. ehhh so cool this comment system! ;D

  76. That’s kinda cool, opsss..yucky experience that couldn’t be erased easily from your long term memory.

    God bless you..

  77. WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
    super WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF wuwuwu

    eh where u got your this thread comment thingy? mine always caused my blog to die so i had to disable it T_T

  78. Old Bald Hentai Man says:

    how you know that horny bald old hentai men got itchy, hairy balls ???

  79. well I have to say this is one hell of a hilarious post-up. Thanks for making my day :)

  80. Rin/Cheesie/Ringo,

    What does “So naish!!!” Translate into conventional English.
    Being a reader in North America (U.S.A.), local slang/languange has no recognizable meaning over here.

    Thank you for the help!

    BTW, why would TK want to vist a porn palace when he has hot gf? ? ?

    David

  81. Lim Hock Chuan says:

    It was an old man (in blue) isn’t it ? and the woman (in yellow) no?? yikes !!!

  82. I *ROFLMAO* when I read he actually moaned….

  83. I really enjoy reading this post….just anticipating on wat is happening next!
    The the super ultimate climax is just so so so disturbing…hahhah…2 gay man having oral in public…actually i would like to witness that….a once in a life time experince. :)

  84. Unker Baldie says:

    Haiyo, no pictures meh? Jap porn no good. Their expression like they are being burned in hell. Mana ada shiok???

  85. 1st time reading ur blog…quite interesting…especially this one haha funny gay uncles

  86. lol, gross but funny story. what’s funnier is, i’ve lived in osaka for more than 10 years, and i still haven’t been to one of those theaters. i think i’d be afraid to sit in one of the seats without first putting down a plastic liner or something….

  87. great live show.
    *speechless for now*

  88. WOW!!~ la discustinggg 2 horny old gay men. =( :@

  89. first time stepping into ur blog ^^
    hehehe that was rather entertaining to read~
    though im sure i’d think otherwise if were in ur shoes.

    p.s. cute drawing and i like the captions on the screen with all the ahhh~ and yametes! LOL

  90. I mastubated whille reading this article. It was remarkable.. :D Hope more of this kind of article will be shared online.. :D:D:D:D

  91. That’s hilarious! Poor you though.. :oops: that IS pretty (very, much, totally) disgusting!
    But! Not disgusting iiis, Indian Curry ♥ (kare raisu, right?). I was in Tokyo a few years ago and my best friend’s aunt has a tiny ramen/curry restaurant in Ikebukuro. It’s called Mimizuku and it’s at the Zoshigaya metrostation. When I was in Japan I ate curry there about everyday! You should totally go there some time ^^
    xoxo Laura

  92. Whoaaa about the 2 old men, that woulda scared the crap outta me too, but Shinsaibashi is an awesome place =D, was there with my girlfriend a few days ago to visit one of our friends. At Dotonbori, omg, the takoyaki and okonomiyaki are to die for =D. Should tapao it back to Brunei bahahaha. Wish i went to the shop with the big crab thing hanging on the sign tho =D.

  93. hahahahahhah that was very funny!! it would have been hilarious! i’m really sorry you had to experience that.. what with the smelly theater. eeeewwwww. can’t imagine the yuckiness of the place! would love to go to one though. i just need to bring plastic bags to put on the seat before i actually sit on it. hahaha

  94. Cheesie!! you are courageous!.. :razz:

    this is sooooooooo funny and the end of your tale was something else!!

    Am sure at the moment of the ‘event’ it was just surreal… but I hope you’ll

    cherish this experience… it’s too funny la! :D Keep it up! ;-)

  95. I was sosos shocked!!! Especially the climax part!! WOW, 2 gays? They are still sexually active?! LOLX! Dam funny lah, thumbs up for your illustrations on the seatings!! DAM GOOD! Even more interesting. The seats muz be dam dirty and they wun even bother to clean it!! Should wear raincoat inside =x Ultimate protection.

  96. Hahahahaha!!!! Too funny!

  97. I’m not against a gay couple , but privacy would be good . they should gone to a motel o3o’

  98. aiyoyo…i will totally run away after i step in only a step…lol…..
    :shock:

  99. OMG HAHAHAHAHAH I’M SO SORRY BUT IT’S FUNNY >< I wish there was a 'like' button on this thing…

  100. :shock: Totally shocking.

  101. Well, I mean… you -were- in a porn theatre, where people go to watch, you know, porn. It isn’t the most bizarre occurrence in the world. Besides, what about being gay makes it more disgusting?

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