(Yay Wendy said can post!)
Ok honestly, the mission for me was really tougher than it sounds, as my role could be described as a, uhm, “Distracter”. First of all i’m crap at being consistent and i am absolutely crap at making up things that are supposed to sound consistent.
So basically, my job was to distract Wendy from the whole plan with my visit. And because she’s known to be highly unpredictable, there was a huge chance that she just decides to screw the movie premiere and sleep until 9PM instead, so i was also there to make sure she turns up. Gorgeously.
And i did so many inconsistent things and risked being a total annoying bitch T_T.
So came the big day, we were all set to go. I had to make sure she didn’t wear something horrible if not she will hate me forever for having an ugly marriage proposal memory T_T. So, gorgeous shoes, checked. rather decent hair, checked. Blue contacts, checked. So i thought she look quite hot after all. Phew.
And then Mike dropped us to the mall, and all hellish terror began.
Huiwen started to send me tons of SMSes. And i had to react accordingly WITHOUT her getting suspicious. Even before that Huiwen already told me that this blonde is freaking smart, she will smell a rat at the slightest inconsistency so the plan could risk no flaw FML.
This was the first SMS. It was sent when we were stuck in a terrible jam.
My reply: “Fucking jam. Not even near. Will do once we reach.”
My reply: “Roger.”
Finally we reached the place (forgot what it is called), then Wendy decided that she didn’t want to buy Chippy’s anymore FML!!!
She went into Long John Silver and quickly grabbed some food instead because she thought we were late.
So on the way to the mall i completely ignored her because i was too busy thinking what excuse i should use to buy time.
“I think i need to pee.” What if she says she will go up first?
“LET’S GO SHOPPING!” Normally will work but maybe not today T_T
Erm… How about “Oh look there’s a lizard on your face?”
Walao i had to remember so many things. So much nonsense to deal with!!!
I wanted to kill this Huiwen.
My reply: “Long John Silver. Going cinema nao.”
By this time Wendy has asked me at least twice who i was SMSing. I just errrr’ed and hmmm’ed her FML i felt like a horrible wife who is cheating.
WTF What nao!
I wanted to kill this Huiwen twice.
Ok make it 3 times.
Anyway i thought Wendy was getting a bit agitated by me at this moment because i was typing on my phone frantically and i looked so distracted and i was just being a horrible friend.
We finally reached the cinema. Boss Ming, Estee and Huiwen were all there. it’s really funny to see everybody pretend to look not kancheong when they were panicking like siao. That includes me.
And thank god we went into the cinema at the right time.
Then i suddenly remembered about the seat arrangement. I actually pondered real hard about the whole logistic behind the seat arrangement.
Is 1 from the left or from the right? How fast should i walk? Should i pretend to fall down just to stall time? What excuse should use if so unfortunately she grabbed the inside seat first? Will she get angry at me and decided to walk out from the cinema instead?
FML. This is too much to deal with.
But i had not much time to think. So i was being a psycho friend again i walked so damn fast ahead of her so i can go in first and sit on the G13 and she will be left with no choice. AND THEN WE REALIZED SOMEONE MESSED UP THE SEAT NUMBER THEY GAVE US G14 AND G15 FML MADE ME PANIC LIKE HELL!!!!
I quickly distracted her and said some nonsense like, oh it’s all the same, they just gave the wrong ticket or some crap that sounds like that.
Now i’m even more kancheong. WTF??? What should i talk to her? In a cinema? “Hi i think the weather is good today.” Or “Has Pumpkin pooped yet???”
The movie was delayed for a good while, and she was getting more agitated because there was this conspired cinema crew with a walkie talking standing near us and she couldn’t eat her Long John Silver FHL.
Finally it started. Bossming went up and gave some nonsense speech (to make it sound really like a Nuffnang screening).
Then the cinema darkened.
THE MOMENT HAS COME.
And guess what????
Our blonde decided to be really engrossed with her BB because we got a summon just now when Mike dropped us off and SHE INSISTED CHECKING HOW MUCH THE FINE WAS. FML.
I really REALLY panicked at this time. Because if she missed the whole proposal commercial, i am basically responsible for the total failure of it FML.
So to make sure she move her eyes from her BB screen to the other bigger screen in the room, i said something like the below lines for at least 3 TIMES THROUGHOUT THE COMMERCIAL
“OMG what’s that!!!!”
“HEY LOOK AT THAT!”
i think i need an acting class. I can’t come up with even a coherent line.
This is the final SMS but i couldn’t be bothered anymore because:
Watch for yourself.
I taped this video to make sure my future fiance knows the least of a marriage proposal.
lol that’s me in the background taking video lolol.