This happens almost only everyday. Whenever i get in the car, i argue with this stupid bitch. I want to keeeel her. Below is an example of a typical argument we will conduct on a daily basis.
Bitch: In, nine, hundred, metres, exit, left.
Cheesie: Don’t bluff. The last time you asked me to go there, i got stuck in a bloody jam for one hour.
Bitch: …
Cheesie: HA! Nothing to say leh! You know I was right, don’t you?
Bitch: In, three, hundred, metres, exit, left.
Cheesie: Wei, change topic ah?
Bitch: Keep, left.
Cheesie: Huh? Where got left????
Bitch: Keep, left.
Cheesie: How can turn left here are you stupid or something???
Bitch: Exit, left.
Cheesie: SHIT.
Bitch: Turn, left, then turn, right.
Cheesie: WTF??? Left or right nao!!!? Can you make up your mind???
Bitch: At the roundabout, take, second, exit.
Cheesie: What second exit what??? You are in bloody Malaysia no body understand what second exit is. How about you say 12 o’clock? 9 o’clock? 3 o’clock? 6 o’ clock?
Bitch: …
Cheesie: Erm. Maybe not 6 o’clock. Hmmm, yeap. Nope.
Bitch: Exit, left.
Cheesie: Ya, you say only easy. How about you drive this bloody car and *i* give you bloody direction???
Bitch: In one, point, five, kilometres, keep, right.
Cheesie: Whatever.
Bitch: Speed limit is 90 kilometers per hour.
Cheesie: Hello this is Malaysia. Nobody cares. Who turf drives slower than 90 anyway.
Bitch: Speed limit is 90 kilometers per hour.
Cheesie: Erm, how about you shut up?
Bitch: Please slow down.
Cheesie: Shut. the. hell. up.
Bitch: Please slow down.
Cheesie: Fuck you.
Bitch: in, two, hundred, fifty, metres, turn, left.
Cheesie: What the???? JUST NAO YOU TOLD ME TO KEEP RIGHT ONE?!?!?!?!?
Bitch: in, one, hundred, metres, turn, left.
Cheesie: WHAT? NAO????
Bitch: Turn, left.
Cheesie: OH SHIT OH SHIT.
Bitch: Recalculating.
Cheesie: Fuck My Life.
It is driving me insane. Literally.
HAHAHHA! GOOD ONE!
hahaha!!! GPRS LOL!!!! 😆
LOL LOL LOL I KNOW how that feels!
Change a GPS 😉
i think just the map not updated la. :blush:
I laughed all the way while I read this. Oh my god!
HAHAHA LOL. but FYL!
wonder if they have a sexy male voice version? sure if ask to drive inside hutan also will follow 😉
GOT! Garmin one can choose… anyway MapKing’s female voice is more polite than Garmin’s one.
really? 😈 sexy voice onot? Lols, i wonder any one made one who scolds back/swears ;p
LOL LOL LOL! HAHAHAHA
GPS . hahaha
Would you rather it be an annoying American voice? 😉
Erm. i tried. i sked. 😯
Looool.
at first i thought it’s a real bitch..
bu then i realize later that it’s a GPS.. lol
haha no human drama 😛
GARMIN~
do u know there are language in hokkien & hakka (tw version) as well? hokkien still ok, but hakka kenot understand at all~!! u shd try that out.. LMAO~~
seriously there is a hakka version?! wow dun belive, buy me one then i’ll belive……………
it was worth a shot ;p
but seriously, really want to hear the hakka version.
The hakka vers. don’t catch any ball one..
chk this out: http://cforum.cari.com.my/viewthread.php?tid=1353066&extra=page%3D1
quote from the forum (if u can read chinese):
“Garmin 美化：
1）导航语言
如果你想要把你的导航发音改成 华语，福建话，客家话或广东的话。
下载这个附件 http://rapidshare.com/files/215305356/Voice.rar
解压后抄到storage cardGarminVOICE 的folder里面。。
把相关的语言 Rename 成 English_American_.vpm
然后在程序里选择 America English 就可以了”
I SKED LA DOWAN LA LATER I VOMIT BLOOD WEI
ngi hiao tang hakka wa meh
ngai mm ti tau oo~
wondering y my earlier comment didnt show up.. btw chk this out: http://cforum.cari.com.my/viewthread.php?tid=1353066&extra=page%3D1
ya i almost choked myself to death when i heard that fml
😯 Wow, you’re really damn smart to think of this lar! I salute you for your wittiness. You’re the best! 😀
WTF YOU REALLY TOT I MADE THIS UP???????????
Im utterly disappointed
lol
:dunno: Eh, no meh? I really thought you did. lols Of course I know it was a Garmin – I have one too in fact^^ but what I meant was the way you presented it with the eye-catching title and funny story is brilliant! Hence the above statement. 😀 lols
haha true story.
u hor, really ze best blogger in msia.. GPS can bcome a veri funny post like this..
haiks.. where r the keju’s humor gone? his post kinda boring nowadays..
no la sob im so inspirationless lately fml sob 😥
“fuck my life”! lolz~ 😈 u are great!
<3
I know what you mean. T_T
I get that all the time too.
Nearly got into accidents coz of the GPS>
what do you mean NEARLY. lol
OMG! That happens to my dad too.
He never fails to scold the GPS. Hahaha.
lolol what does he say?
so cool man, i want my car to talk too!!!!
get one of those bitches
Hahahhaha
Make my day, Ringo
😀 😀 😀
hahaha…damn funny….sometime gps make us confuse la..haha
i cant stop laughing while reading….
Aiyo, I hate GPS but haven’t seen a post that put it in the right words before!! There was once I took the stupid turning (like you know, this left or the next left??!!) and end up getting lost for damn long because it kept recalculating. Don’t ask me what’s the GPS is there for, seriously D:
maybe we just need to get a sense of direction FOL T_________T
wakakakakakakakakaka
u r soooooooooooooooo funnyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
muz b really frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahah this is so funny! i cant stop laughing! i used to be like tat even though if its not GPS but human instead! hahhahaha
hahaha u geek, turn off the voice next time =P
if i turn off voice i will be dead. women cant read maps, eric.
Amazing. 😀 Somehow our navigation thing look so much friendlier now 😀
drive me june!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol it happens to me all the time when i drive in kl! 😳
At least you haven’t shove some coke down her face. 🙂
WHY WOULD I DO THAT I WILL HAVE TO CLEAN MY BLOODY CAR
lol
i’m so very amused
This is why GPS systems are evil. I always look stuff up on Mapquest or Google Maps and write down the directions. Bahaha~
Cheesie , you’re way too funny! I didn’t know it was a GPS system, so slow of me =.= Love your post!
<333
you don’t argue with a bitch that has no brain, she’d drive you crazy! 😆
computer brain is dun pray pray one.
love u, hate the gps XD <3
love you too!! and your flag!!!
haha m just here for work, not whr im from
Sounds like user problems LOL
Reminds me of my mum, she argues with/scolds every machine that can talk to her lolol
hahahaha, that is a good one, lol
wahahahaha very funny, really they must make it in sexy male voice in flirty flirty mode, i want mine sighing & moaning saying things like “baby, left, now, 200 metres..” seriously?? “yess, please, now left, 50 metres..” no way! “baby u dont wanna argue wif me, now.. exit.. u dod it!! yay! we’re home daahhling” ahahahaha
Hahaha…just switch it off and use a map!
the worse thing is when the lady says ‘you have reached your destination’ and it is nowhere in sight. -.-
Ringo,
Hilarious!
TomTom GPS are offering voices of Darth Vader currently.
Wonder if you can get a GPS company to use your charming voice!
David
I hate max the “please slow down”!
i know how it feels.. i usually mute it b4 i crash it into pieces..
Hahaha.. i love the part “recalculating”..GPS navigations are nvr really there to give “proper directions”.. i think it’s best if you know (more or less) of that place, then only use GPS to direct u..if depend fully on GPS = FML.
Hahaha, I love you to bits! I love how you make people laugh, and in your blog you don’t say things to piss people off unlike ANOTHER blogger.
hahahahah i used to want a garmin so badly coz im so bad with kl and pj routes but after reading your tweets and this post i seriously think that using google map and print out the map doesn’t as bad as this post now! 😆 😆
but how can you get angry listening to british accent!!!! XD got no male voice meh?!
Throw your GPS away or change it to an American bitch
hehehhe..nice one!
im having the same prob as u!
i always f**ck the bitch in my car cos it’s always giving me wrong directions ! hehheeeeeeee 😉
Haha~~ I love this. I hate the speed limit warning too. I would say “shut up, b-i-t-c-h!”
Omfg. My gps is the same! I was trying to get to the airport but it took us to Disney world instead. Fml =__=”
GPS is meant for people who dont know the land. I’ve tried, the best route is not by GPS but your knowledge of the traffic and roads.
Hmmm… I used to have the “Please slow down” when I was using Map King but once I figured out how to read my Garmin I never looked back altho it’s fucking slow to load… N ya… still can get lost sometimes cos KL road everytime aso change… once in Penang n I was looking for a car workshop. N since I only know the routes in Penang to good food I had 2 rely on my GPS… it did point me in d right direction BUT… car kenot go 2 d workshop… cos it’s a dead end… but at least we knew we were right behind it so we jz took d same way but terbaliks… 😳
hey cheesie i don’t know if this is available in M’sia, but i know in the States you can get Garmins (eg the nuvi 265WT) that tell you the exact street name to turn onto (eg, turn left in 200 metres onto King St) so that’s a lot more helpful! oh and they also come with live traffic updates, so you can actually reroute around traffic congested areas in real-time. 🙂
“If possible, please make a u-turn” <– That bitch always ask me to do this. I really cannot use Garmin. Nanti asyik kena buat u-turn je, hahahahah
OMG DAMN FUNNY!! HAHAHAHHA. <3
In the beginning, I really thought that you are arguing with a British lady.
So… it’s a GPS, huh?
This is a very creative way to blog about this.
YOU ROCK, CHEESIE!!!
blog walking! I found ur blog randomly! Very Funny post 😆
haha, right. this always happen to me too ^^
😉 omg. that is why i hate GPS.`es too! 😯
Hahaha this is so funny!!
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