Daily argument with a British bitch

July 24, 2010 in Eccentric Ringoism

This happens almost only everyday. Whenever i get in the car, i argue with this stupid bitch. I want to keeeel her. Below is an example of a typical argument we will conduct on a daily basis.

Bitch: In, nine, hundred, metres, exit, left.

Cheesie: Don’t bluff. The last time you asked me to go there, i got stuck in a bloody jam for one hour.

Bitch:

Cheesie: HA! Nothing to say leh! You know I was right, don’t you?

Bitch: In, three, hundred, metres, exit, left.

Cheesie: Wei, change topic ah?

Bitch: Keep, left.

Cheesie: Huh? Where got left????

Bitch: Keep, left.

Cheesie: How can turn left here are you stupid or something???

Bitch: Exit, left.

Cheesie: SHIT.

Bitch: Turn, left, then turn, right.

Cheesie: WTF??? Left or right nao!!!? Can you make up your mind???

Bitch: At the roundabout, take, second, exit.

Cheesie: What second exit what??? You are in bloody Malaysia no body understand what second exit is. How about you say 12 o’clock?  9 o’clock? 3 o’clock? 6 o’ clock?

Bitch:

Cheesie: Erm. Maybe not 6 o’clock. Hmmm, yeap. Nope.

Bitch: Exit, left.

Cheesie: Ya, you say only easy. How about you drive this bloody car and *i* give you bloody direction???

Bitch: In one, point, five, kilometres, keep, right.

Cheesie: Whatever.

Bitch: Speed limit is 90 kilometers per hour.

Cheesie: Hello this is Malaysia. Nobody cares. Who turf drives slower than 90 anyway.

Bitch: Speed limit is 90 kilometers per hour.

Cheesie: Erm, how about you shut up?

Bitch: Please slow down.

Cheesie: Shut. the. hell. up.

Bitch: Please slow down.

Cheesie: Fuck you.

Bitch: in, two, hundred, fifty, metres, turn,  left.

Cheesie: What the???? JUST NAO YOU TOLD ME TO KEEP RIGHT ONE?!?!?!?!?

Bitch: in, one, hundred, metres, turn,  left.

Cheesie: WHAT? NAO????

Bitch: Turn, left.

Cheesie: OH SHIT OH SHIT.

Bitch: Recalculating.

Cheesie: Fuck My Life.

It is driving me insane. Literally.

91 people cheesed “Daily argument with a British bitch”

  1. HAHAHHA! GOOD ONE!

  2. hahaha!!! GPRS LOL!!!! :lol:

  3. LOL LOL LOL I KNOW how that feels!

  4. I laughed all the way while I read this. Oh my god!

  5. HAHAHA LOL. but FYL!

  6. wonder if they have a sexy male voice version? sure if ask to drive inside hutan also will follow ;-)

  7. LOL LOL LOL! HAHAHAHA

  8. GPS . hahaha

  9. Would you rather it be an annoying American voice? ;-)

  10. at first i thought it’s a real bitch..
    bu then i realize later that it’s a GPS.. lol

  11. GARMIN~
    do u know there are language in hokkien & hakka (tw version) as well? hokkien still ok, but hakka kenot understand at all~!! u shd try that out.. LMAO~~

  12. :shock: Wow, you’re really damn smart to think of this lar! I salute you for your wittiness. You’re the best! :grin:

  13. u hor, really ze best blogger in msia.. GPS can bcome a veri funny post like this..
    haiks.. where r the keju’s humor gone? his post kinda boring nowadays..

  14. “fuck my life”! lolz~ :twisted: u are great!

  15. I know what you mean. T_T

    I get that all the time too.

    Nearly got into accidents coz of the GPS>

  16. OMG! That happens to my dad too.
    He never fails to scold the GPS. Hahaha.

  17. so cool man, i want my car to talk too!!!!

  18. Hahahhaha
    Make my day, Ringo

  19. hahaha…damn funny….sometime gps make us confuse la..haha
    i cant stop laughing while reading….

  20. Aiyo, I hate GPS but haven’t seen a post that put it in the right words before!! There was once I took the stupid turning (like you know, this left or the next left??!!) and end up getting lost for damn long because it kept recalculating. Don’t ask me what’s the GPS is there for, seriously D:

  21. wakakakakakakakakaka
    u r soooooooooooooooo funnyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    muz b really frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. hahah this is so funny! i cant stop laughing! i used to be like tat even though if its not GPS but human instead! hahhahaha

  23. hahaha u geek, turn off the voice next time =P

  24. Amazing. :D Somehow our navigation thing look so much friendlier now :D

  25. lol it happens to me all the time when i drive in kl! :oops:

  26. At least you haven’t shove some coke down her face. :)

  27. i’m so very amused

  28. This is why GPS systems are evil. I always look stuff up on Mapquest or Google Maps and write down the directions. Bahaha~

  29. Cheesie , you’re way too funny! I didn’t know it was a GPS system, so slow of me =.= Love your post!

  30. you don’t argue with a bitch that has no brain, she’d drive you crazy! :lol:

  31. love u, hate the gps XD <3

  32. Sounds like user problems LOL

  33. Reminds me of my mum, she argues with/scolds every machine that can talk to her lolol

  34. hahahaha, that is a good one, lol

  35. wahahahaha very funny, really they must make it in sexy male voice in flirty flirty mode, i want mine sighing & moaning saying things like “baby, left, now, 200 metres..” seriously?? “yess, please, now left, 50 metres..” no way! “baby u dont wanna argue wif me, now.. exit.. u dod it!! yay! we’re home daahhling” ahahahaha

  36. Hahaha…just switch it off and use a map!

  37. the worse thing is when the lady says ‘you have reached your destination’ and it is nowhere in sight. -.-

  38. Ringo,

    Hilarious!

    TomTom GPS are offering voices of Darth Vader currently.

    Wonder if you can get a GPS company to use your charming voice!

    David

  39. I hate max the “please slow down”!

  40. Hahaha.. i love the part “recalculating”..GPS navigations are nvr really there to give “proper directions”.. i think it’s best if you know (more or less) of that place, then only use GPS to direct u..if depend fully on GPS = FML.

  41. Mouthless Feline says:

    Hahaha, I love you to bits! I love how you make people laugh, and in your blog you don’t say things to piss people off unlike ANOTHER blogger.

  42. hahahahah i used to want a garmin so badly coz im so bad with kl and pj routes but after reading your tweets and this post i seriously think that using google map and print out the map doesn’t as bad as this post now! :lol: :lol:

    but how can you get angry listening to british accent!!!! XD got no male voice meh?!

  43. Throw your GPS away or change it to an American bitch

  44. hehehhe..nice one!

  45. im having the same prob as u!
    i always f**ck the bitch in my car cos it’s always giving me wrong directions ! hehheeeeeeee ;-)

  46. Haha~~ I love this. I hate the speed limit warning too. I would say “shut up, b-i-t-c-h!”

  47. Omfg. My gps is the same! I was trying to get to the airport but it took us to Disney world instead. Fml =__=”

  48. GPS is meant for people who dont know the land. I’ve tried, the best route is not by GPS but your knowledge of the traffic and roads.

  49. Hmmm… I used to have the “Please slow down” when I was using Map King but once I figured out how to read my Garmin I never looked back altho it’s fucking slow to load… N ya… still can get lost sometimes cos KL road everytime aso change… once in Penang n I was looking for a car workshop. N since I only know the routes in Penang to good food I had 2 rely on my GPS… it did point me in d right direction BUT… car kenot go 2 d workshop… cos it’s a dead end… but at least we knew we were right behind it so we jz took d same way but terbaliks… :oops:

  50. hey cheesie i don’t know if this is available in M’sia, but i know in the States you can get Garmins (eg the nuvi 265WT) that tell you the exact street name to turn onto (eg, turn left in 200 metres onto King St) so that’s a lot more helpful! oh and they also come with live traffic updates, so you can actually reroute around traffic congested areas in real-time. :)

  51. “If possible, please make a u-turn” <– That bitch always ask me to do this. I really cannot use Garmin. Nanti asyik kena buat u-turn je, hahahahah

  52. OMG DAMN FUNNY!! HAHAHAHHA. <3

  53. In the beginning, I really thought that you are arguing with a British lady.
    So… it’s a GPS, huh?
    This is a very creative way to blog about this.
    YOU ROCK, CHEESIE!!!

  54. blog walking! I found ur blog randomly! Very Funny post :lol:

  55. haha, right. this always happen to me too ^^

  56. ;-) omg. that is why i hate GPS.`es too! :shock:

  57. Hahaha this is so funny!! :mrgreen:

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