Daily argument with a British bitch

July 24, 2010 in Eccentric Ringoism

This happens almost only everyday. Whenever i get in the car, i argue with this stupid bitch. I want to keeeel her. Below is an example of a typical argument we will conduct on a daily basis.

Bitch: In, nine, hundred, metres, exit, left.

Cheesie: Don’t bluff. The last time you asked me to go there, i got stuck in a bloody jam for one hour.

Bitch:

Cheesie: HA! Nothing to say leh! You know I was right, don’t you?

Bitch: In, three, hundred, metres, exit, left.

Cheesie: Wei, change topic ah?

Bitch: Keep, left.

Cheesie: Huh? Where got left????

Bitch: Keep, left.

Cheesie: How can turn left here are you stupid or something???

Bitch: Exit, left.

Cheesie: SHIT.

Bitch: Turn, left, then turn, right.

Cheesie: WTF??? Left or right nao!!!? Can you make up your mind???

Bitch: At the roundabout, take, second, exit.

Cheesie: What second exit what??? You are in bloody Malaysia no body understand what second exit is. How about you say 12 o’clock?  9 o’clock? 3 o’clock? 6 o’ clock?

Bitch:

Cheesie: Erm. Maybe not 6 o’clock. Hmmm, yeap. Nope.

Bitch: Exit, left.

Cheesie: Ya, you say only easy. How about you drive this bloody car and *i* give you bloody direction???

Bitch: In one, point, five, kilometres, keep, right.

Cheesie: Whatever.

Bitch: Speed limit is 90 kilometers per hour.

Cheesie: Hello this is Malaysia. Nobody cares. Who turf drives slower than 90 anyway.

Bitch: Speed limit is 90 kilometers per hour.

Cheesie: Erm, how about you shut up?

Bitch: Please slow down.

Cheesie: Shut. the. hell. up.

Bitch: Please slow down.

Cheesie: Fuck you.

Bitch: in, two, hundred, fifty, metres, turn,  left.

Cheesie: What the???? JUST NAO YOU TOLD ME TO KEEP RIGHT ONE?!?!?!?!?

Bitch: in, one, hundred, metres, turn,  left.

Cheesie: WHAT? NAO????

Bitch: Turn, left.

Cheesie: OH SHIT OH SHIT.

Bitch: Recalculating.

Cheesie: Fuck My Life.

It is driving me insane. Literally.