GE13 is over, and i can’t sleep. Maybe many of you can’t sleep too? Welcome.
I apologize in advance for my blabbering in this blog post. Even I don’t know what i am going to write.
As you all know i am publicly unpatriotic, but i actually don’t hate Malaysia. It would be quite crazy to hate your own country. I admit i don’t love it with a burning passion until i can sacrifice everything for it, but i don’t hate it. I am thankful that my ancestors moved from South China to this country, (which i think is much, much, much, much better, at least i can have a Facebook account), and i am forever grateful that it is Malaysia who made me a moderately successful blogger (and hence all the amazing opportunities in life that ensued), gave me a moderately comfortable life, and allows me all you super awesome readers, which i doubt i can achieve given i was born and raise elsewhere. For that i thank my grandparents, my mom and my country.
But I hate the government who rules it, so much. For over a decade. Maybe two. And sometimes i blur the lines between hating the people who cheat and lie to the rakyat, and the entire nation itself. There are times i made mistakes and made myself a fool in your eyes. I am not proud of them.
But yesterday i decided that i will perform the minimal duty as a Malaysian citizen. I drove back to my hometown, Seremban, to vote. Together with my mom. I was proud that i did. For the first time i feel that i actually did something for my country, other than promoting Nasi Lemak on Instagram.
But some people in this country lied and cheated us for their own selfish benefits and unjust victory.
I am so heartbroken.
I feel so sad for people who fought so hard for this country. I feel despaired for my family who has been wanting for a better future since 4 elections ago. I feel sad for the brave leaders who have fought all their lives for the rakyat just to be defeated by pure evil, corrupted powers. I am horrified that this is where my future child’s will grow up in. All these injustice is driving everyone around me crazy.
I feel cheated that all our 5 years of wistful hope for a better Malaysia, has just unceremoniously come to an end like this, and what comes is another 5 years of uncertainty.
I am not even in touch with the whole politics scene enough to comment on it, nor know what’s gonna happen after this. And it would be wrong to sound so negative and say that we have lost all hope and let’s get the hell out of here, just because we are blinded by rage and disappointment. Some of my friends have been extremely positive, and said keep having faith and let’s do it slowly. And i am extremely touched by that.
And i can only hope that the new (old) government realizes how powerful we rakyat have become, and feel compelled to be more careful and do a better job the next five years. Although i think i hardly have the patience for that when there’s already enough crazy things going around.
On a happier note, the danna and i are flying off for a one-month Weddingmoon in Santorini and other parts of Europe. And then after that we will be back to Japan for a short while.
Let me be an escapist for awhile. Let me go away and cling my happiness onto what i love the so much. And thinking about that alone makes me happy. After all what is better than being able to be together with the one who matters to you the most?
I am still an incredibly lucky girl. Presented with choices in her life.
And for that i am thankful enough. Thank you Malaysia and i hope the best for all of us Malaysians.