WTFish.

March 19, 2007 in Eccentric Ringoism

Pun of the day:
A fisherman caught two fishes.
Cod fish: Pollocks! We’ve been cod!
Whale: Sigh. Whale meat again.

 

After a super tulan tyre-puntured incident yesterday, i went to this chinese restaurant for dinner.

This restaurant serves the freshest steamed fish, as all their fishes are swimming alive before being cooked.

OMC 6 7 puns in a sentence! I’m a cheesnius.

Thinking of all these fish puns is giving me a real haddock, and my herring is getting bad.

 

Anycheese.

I ordered a Tiger Garoupa, after all the ordeals i’d gone through that day.

Super good business wei. All the fishes were gone one by one. To hell.

15 minutes later, my fish came out.

When it was placed on the table, I started to feel… something was making me uneasy.

 

WRONG CHOICE OF SEAT!

 

I was sitting right in front of the fish tanks.

Then i felt as if all the fishes in the tanks were staring at me in angst, swearing to wage a vendetta against me in their next lives.

 

Oh My Cod What The Fish.

I’M DEVOURING THEIR FELLOW KIND RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES!

Suddenly i felt like i’m a vicious murderer. That was making me sick.

 

Humans are so cruel no? One minute you see the fish swimming happily in the tank, the next minute it’s on your table, eyes double x (X_X), and before you know, it’s in your stomach already. It will go down the flush finally too. It belongs to the water after all, just in different forms.

T_T

Man, it’s all psychological. Why is that when you’re eating fish and chips gleefully in Manhattan Fish Market, you don’t feel a thing. You think you’re very noble because you don’t eat FOIE GRAS, which, in the process of tantalizing your tastebuds, some stupid geese get fed and killed mercilessly. Do you know that the under the batter, some poor dory (Speaking of Dory it reminds me of Finding Nemo. Which is another story. Will blog about it next) was also murdered to satisfy your gluttony?

WTFish.

Let’s all be vegetarians. Wait. Then again, how do you know veggies don’t have feelings when they are “killed”?

I remember this story from one of my SPM English Literature textbooks, about a boy who has the ability to hear super high frequency sounds made by plants that are beyond human’s hearing. He hears a flower wail when its stem is snipped, he hears a tree howl when its trunk is sawn.

Imagine that! An apple screams in pain when you bite into it.

Traumatic!

So how? We can’t eat veggies! Then i remember a scene in Nothing Hill, where this girl was invited to Hugh Grant’s Family dinner.

 

Keziah: No thanks, I’m a fruitarian.
Max: I didn’t realize that.
Max: And, uhm., what exactly is a fruitarian?
Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feelings, so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush – that are, in fact, dead already.
Max: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots…
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
Max: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!

 

Ahhh.

I suddenly wonder how many lives have i killed. Chickens, cows, ducks, GEESE! Fishes… OMC i love to eat Ikura (salmon roe) sushi!!!666

You see, my room constantly breeds annoying mosquitoes. I don’t know why. I always smash them into Mozzie Puree. Could that be considered a sin? If that is, i’m a cruel serial killer, Cheese forbid. I was so disturbed by this that i went online and searched if monks kill mosquitoes. Then i found this:

During the sermon, a mosquito flew into the hall, whose doors were open. Tenpa Gyaltshen, in response to a question on what he wants to teach Japanese believers, smiling, said,
”Never kill mosquitoes.”
”If you say, ‘A mosquito came in. I will kill it. Slap! I’ve got it.’ You committed a sin. See the mosquito as the reincarnation of your mother. You can become a doer of good deeds if you have mercy on everything.”

0_o

Please. I dowan to be reincarnated as a mozzie.

37 responses to “WTFish.”

  1. bryanlim says:

    i think it was a boy who created a machine which enabled him to hear the super high frequency sounds…:p

  2. cheesie says:

    bryanlim: Forgive me! It’s been six years!

  3. Ying Bin Sousa says:

    I remember the name of the story,The Sound Machine tat is! 🙂

  4. Converse says:

    Well survival of the fittest I guess, if you can’t eat anything, what can you eat?

    The lino standing in front of you wouldn’t hesitate about your feelings if he’s hungry.

  5. sheon says:

    Survival of the fittest theory doesnt apply to humans………………so many evidences contradict to that theory, like, why do all the ah bengs get the hot girls????

    We’re just on top of the foodchain…thats it.

    And…humans…..are like virus……..we colonise, we rape the area of its resources, we multiply, and we spread to another area………

  6. Fishy says:

    lolz.. love tis post as it’s abt fishes! love ur puns too as it’s abt fishes too.. hahah.. anyway, it’s the cycle of life.. u kill an animal n u live by eating it.. animals do tat too.. kill their prey n eat them too in order to survive.. so overall, it’s jz a cycle.. no worries yea? : )

  7. Chris says:

    like tat no need live lor

  8. smelly pooch says:

    at least you didnt kill the fish with your bare hands!

    went fishing a few weeks back.. caught this big (kinda) fish.
    what to do? no restaurant taukeh to help you kill the fish?
    took my plier and gave it a few big blows (better than leaving it out of water for a slow tortured death right?)

    gutted open.. saw eggs, gonna hatch soon. kinda devastated
    friend said i was dumb, just a fish.. but to me, i murdered a fishy mom.. sigh.
    Amen to her.

  9. Dave63 says:

    I am having a halibat time of tring to understand this problem. If I cant eat another living thing then I have to wait for the chicken to die before I can have my hot wings? What if someone else kills it, I can it it yes? what a bout our beloved Cheese, can we it that? was it not once inside a cow or a goat? Some days you need to just follow an old American Indian saying, Somedays you eat the bear and somedays the bear eats you.

  10. teriberi says:

    thought it was a man, not a boy? He created the Sound Machine.

    I like Ikura too! 😀

  11. astrosurge says:

    nice moving post!
    btw, not Nothing Hill lah..its Notting Hill.. hehehe.

  12. lovegoddess says:

    like d cartoon of fish in blender.. funny 🙂

    want to see prawn’s agony too? go to : http://www.slimsenzation.blogspot.com

  13. kcin says:

    not to worry, your time will come… amen -_-

  14. Sugar says:

    it’s food chain.
    we eat chicken / cow / vege etc
    mosquito sucks our bloods
    peace.
    🙂

  15. cheesie says:

    fishy: More fishies coming!
    smelly pooch: Wonder how butchers got over their conscience.
    Dave63: No leh. By eating cheese you’re just eating some fermented baby cow food.
    teriberi: I think so! =P
    astrosurge: Aiks. My puns are getting to me. Side effects.

  16. purple says:

    i recognised d restaurant..it’s “ching zen wong” in kota damansara..

  17. dan dan says:

    yea the title of the story is “the sound machine” , great story though! 🙂

    cheesie, just drink water everyday, and eat rice … (rice dies / dries up under the sun bfore they harvest it so no need to feel guilty) and drink milk because by milking an animal u dun kill them. like dat u can slim down more as well… hehee

  18. nawooz says:

    Just listen to Weird Al Yankovich’s – Eat It and you will feel a whole lot better.

  19. Annie says:

    look at killing this way. if someone something is reincarnated as a mozzie/vegetables/fish/food then the more you should eat them earlier so they can end their miserable life and reincarnate again into something better! that way you already do a good deed!!!! mwahahah~

    personally i believe everything is on earth for a reason. and most of it being to be eaten by me. peiod

  20. Giddy says:

    That’s awfully funny… I bet it was even worse since they kept the head on!

  21. leonade says:

    Whales are not fishes… -_-lll

  22. lin says:

    right, so it would be: a fisherman caught a fish n n nnimal…

  23. John says:

    The life of a fish… lol!

    The best tuna is, Chicken Of The Sea.
    As far as Reincarnation – Annie is close cognitively.
    Sheon -virus and humans are a million years apart… At least I hope so in your case! (I am kidding…)

    All good ideas, just – dated lets say. – You have nothing to worry about Cheesie. 🙂
    Funny posting!

  24. cheesie says:

    lin: mammal, if we want to be anal.

  25. debbie says:

    The Sound machine by Roald Dahl is it??? I studied that last year. Haha pretty meaningful in an odd sort of way. The roses were the ones screaming when their stems were chopped.

  26. hii says:

    One thing for sure, you’re thinking too much.

  27. Someone says:

    i hate fish.. ):

  28. Dave63 says:

    Californian Weirdo: I don’t like fish.

    Jim: You are listening to KAOS here in Los Angeles.
    (from Radio Kaos)
    Californian Weirdo: I don’t like fish.

    Jim: Yes, we’ve established that. Ah! Do you have a request?

    Californian Weirdo: Shell fish, guppy, salmon, shrimp and crab
    and lobster, flounder.I hate fish, but I think most of
    all I hate fresh fish, like trout. I hate fresh trout.
    My least-hated, favourite fish would be sole. That way
    you don’t have to see the eyes. Sole has no eyes.

  29. Raymond Yong says:

    omg cheesie.. the pun!

    you created it? if so, not bad wei ;p

  30. CheesieFanBoy says:

    it is still the survival of the fittest sheon cuz only RICH AH Bengs get the hot girls, poor ones are left to rot alone for eternity =p lolx ……….. NOt trying to start a heated discussion here so I’ll leave this as it is, and hope the rest of you guys will too……..

    Now back to the fishies, okie…………If you are ever wondering whether you are a cold blooded and vicious killer Cheesie…..YES YOU ARE =p cuz you have devoured a plenty of cows milk which could feed many calfs…………hehehhee you’re pure evil Cheesie Evil I tell ya…….j/k
    BTW you would look really cute in the She devil costume…………=p

    Oh almost forgot bout the fishies, ok what you did to the poor guy in the fish tank?? you traumatised him, hehehe watching Cheesie eat his relative bite by bite tearing it apart bits by bits till there’s nothing left but bones….ohhhh the cruelty, the agony, the the…..well I’m speechless already………=D

    But seriously all of this just bound to personal beliefs, I mean If you believe its wrong its wrong but if you believe there’s nothing wrong then there is nothing wrong, there’s no need to feel bad cuz someone told you, you sholdn’t be doing it……..so Meat eaters have their own thoughts, vegetarians have their own thinking, and Fruiteterian have their own views lolx…….just eat anything that is not against your beliefs and it will just be fine (but only from your own personal point of view)
    Besides if you cant eat this, you cant eat that, then whats the point of living??? @@”

  31. John says:

    True CFB. At least somewhat… it’s all relative. Peace! 🙂

    I’m not going into my latest…fish tank story here.

    You have more than 6 puns in that first picture. That is beyond Cheesnius actually.
    ~~~

  32. cheesie says:

    John: Just realized!

  33. melc says:

    I’ve always feel so guilty that I never eat ducks or goats if I can help it. As for chickens and fishes…they just HAD to go to my tummy! XD

  34. wahlau says:

    the way you describe me the feeling of having the fishes looking at you, is the same as some german friends telling me “oh, we only eat fillets… if whole fish, then the fish is looking at me while i am eating it!”

    oh well, so much for the little voice in your head 🙂 just close your eyes and enjoy the nice meal 😉

  35. Hayabusa says:

    humans’re actually to be able to make to the top of the foodchain, we get eat others while others seldom get a chance to eat us… just remember to thank that stuff, especially meat, when you eat them… by eating them, at least its a law of nature and they have their lives ended without being humiliated… & if those animals we eat get enough intelligence to got on top of us, instead of calling them evil, i’d rather tell them to make it painless before they bring me before the butcher knife… and oh, cheesie, mozzies only have a lifespan of a few weeks, if you really got reincarnated into one, you’ll be dead and reincarnated again before you know it…

  36. Jem says:

    I went to that place before too ! but i did’nt sit near the fish tanks .

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