Pun of the day:
A fisherman caught two fishes.
Cod fish: Pollocks! We’ve been cod!
Whale: Sigh. Whale meat again.
After a super tulan tyre-puntured incident yesterday, i went to this chinese restaurant for dinner.
This restaurant serves the freshest steamed fish, as all their fishes are swimming alive before being cooked.
6 7 puns in a sentence! I’m a cheesnius.
Thinking of all these fish puns is giving me a real haddock, and my herring is getting bad.
I ordered a Tiger Garoupa, after all the ordeals i’d gone through that day.
Super good business wei. All the fishes were gone one by one. To hell.
15 minutes later, my fish came out.
When it was placed on the table, I started to feel… something was making me uneasy.
WRONG CHOICE OF SEAT!
I was sitting right in front of the fish tanks.
Then i felt as if all the fishes in the tanks were staring at me in angst, swearing to wage a vendetta against me in their next lives.
Oh My Cod What The Fish.
I’M DEVOURING THEIR FELLOW KIND RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES!
Suddenly i felt like i’m a vicious murderer. That was making me sick.
Humans are so cruel no? One minute you see the fish swimming happily in the tank, the next minute it’s on your table, eyes double x (X_X), and before you know, it’s in your stomach already. It will go down the flush finally too. It belongs to the water after all, just in different forms.
Man, it’s all psychological. Why is that when you’re eating fish and chips gleefully in Manhattan Fish Market, you don’t feel a thing. You think you’re very noble because you don’t eat FOIE GRAS, which, in the process of tantalizing your tastebuds, some stupid geese get fed and killed mercilessly. Do you know that the under the batter, some poor dory (Speaking of Dory it reminds me of Finding Nemo. Which is another story. Will blog about it next) was also murdered to satisfy your gluttony?
Let’s all be vegetarians. Wait. Then again, how do you know veggies don’t have feelings when they are “killed”?
I remember this story from one of my SPM English Literature textbooks, about a boy who has the ability to hear super high frequency sounds made by plants that are beyond human’s hearing. He hears a flower wail when its stem is snipped, he hears a tree howl when its trunk is sawn.
Imagine that! An apple screams in pain when you bite into it.
So how? We can’t eat veggies! Then i remember a scene in Nothing Hill, where this girl was invited to Hugh Grant’s Family dinner.
Keziah: No thanks, I’m a fruitarian.
Max: I didn’t realize that.
Max: And, uhm., what exactly is a fruitarian?
Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feelings, so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush – that are, in fact, dead already.
Max: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots…
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
Max: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!
I suddenly wonder how many lives have i killed. Chickens, cows, ducks, GEESE! Fishes… OMC i love to eat Ikura (salmon roe) sushi!!!666
You see, my room constantly breeds annoying mosquitoes. I don’t know why. I always smash them into Mozzie Puree. Could that be considered a sin? If that is, i’m a cruel serial killer, Cheese forbid. I was so disturbed by this that i went online and searched if monks kill mosquitoes. Then i found this:
During the sermon, a mosquito flew into the hall, whose doors were open. Tenpa Gyaltshen, in response to a question on what he wants to teach Japanese believers, smiling, said,
”Never kill mosquitoes.”
”If you say, ‘A mosquito came in. I will kill it. Slap! I’ve got it.’ You committed a sin. See the mosquito as the reincarnation of your mother. You can become a doer of good deeds if you have mercy on everything.”
Please. I dowan to be reincarnated as a mozzie.