Ganbatte Koyuki

January 25, 2010 in Cheddie&Pets

Dear Koyuki,

When you greeted mommy yesterday with joy, you cannot imagine how happy mommy felt.

I thought you were angry with me because i abandoned you at this horrible place full of sick animals. And i’m so sorry to make you feel like one of them. You must have thought that mommy don’t want you anymore. I’m so so sorry i cannot bring you home, because you could die without the supportive system.

I thought you will never want to look at me anymore because i made you suffer. You were throwing up non-stop and you refused to eat at all. I can imagine. Mommy was sick before too, but you suffered so much more. I am so sorry there wasn’t anything more i could do. I’m sorry i cried too, i know it made you feel worse.

But you wagged your tail today. And you whined.Your whining has never sound more like a chime bell from heaven. I would want to hear it every single day now.

And you looked happy to see me.

And i knew that you still love me.

I’m sorry you still have to be on drips. Your left foot is all bruised because of the needle and it broke my heart. They had to switch the drips to your right foot and now your right foot is swollen to an abnormal size. My heart was broken dunno how many times already. It must be painful. :( I’m so so sorry. I really wish i could help you share the pain.

Every other day the nurse will have to poke a needle into your limb and i know it hurts. I know you don’t like people touching your feet anymore. But just hang in there for a little while more please? I promise it will be over soon, and mommy will bring you home. I’m sure you are excited to see your new toilet! It is all netted now so you won’t dirty your paws when you pee. :)

I’m so glad you are eating now. Mommy was so worried you were gonna be skinny bitch like mommy. You are all skin and bones now. Please eat more, there are new snacks waiting for you at home. Hint hint cheese topping! Bought all the way from Japan. :)

Just a while more, Koyuki. Doctor says if you stop vomiting and diarrhea and pass out nice stool, you can come home! So give everyone nice poo see ok!

Yesterday, mommy was at Desa Park City, and i saw this beautiful husky who looks just like you. Brown nose, piercing blue eyes, copper coat. Running freely around the park. Except much bigger and all grown up. I felt all overwhelmed inside. I wanted to go hug him wtf. I can imagine you look exactly like that in a few months’ time. I want to see you grow up like him too. A beautiful adult husky. I want to see you run.

I want that day to come.

And i just want you to know mommy loves you very, very much.

Mommy will be waiting for your return, no matter how long it takes.