Once upon time there was a girl named Hana chan.
One day she met a handsome guy and it was love at first sight.
He went after her and they fell in love.
And then fast forward awhile later, they had ahem…
le sexy time. (modern fairy tales, you guys)
Hana chan was like…
Handsome guy replied, all sweaty and nonplussed…
“I don’t think this is gonna work…”
And he started to leave.
Hana chan was like NOOOOoooooo BUT WHYyyyyyyy
Handsome guy took a long while, sighed deeply, whispered into her ears and told her the reason as he walked away.
Hana chan was appalled …
and spectacularly embarrassed to speechlessness.
She then spent 500 years (people from once upon a time had a longer life than us, or they had a faulty calendar system. One of those.) crying herself to sleep every night.
One day she woke up, had a different light of life, and was determined to find a solution to get her Handsome guy back into her life.
She went to the library (no internet available at that time. You have no idea how lucky you guys are.) and she searched and searched and searched.
And she found the answer.
It was called the Love Soap.
“What the bieber is that?!” (That was how they say the F-word long once upon a time. Different laguage system)
She opened it up, and there was a piece of scroll.
On the scroll there was a feather ink written instruction it said, “apply it once a day on your oxtoureepeus daily during shower, and you will find the true love of your life.”
(That was how they called a certain body part once upon a time. Unfortunately the exact translation is lost now in present days.)
Hana chan could rarely believe it, she couldn’t be sure.
She opened up the paper wrapping and found a piece of round, extremely plain looking soap in it.
“Is that it? No Genie popping up asking me for three wishes or glittery spell floating in the air?!” She murmured in disappointment.
But then in an instant, she was overwhelmed…
The room was filled with the most pleasant rose scent in the world that could contest the finest roses from Huis Ten Bosch.
She was intoxicated.
Anyway, to cut the long story short, she used the Love Soap as instructed in the paper scroll diligently for a week.
It was the best secret she has ever discovered.
And the secret now, in present days, is called…
(Don’t ask me. I don’t know why the translation is exactly the same either.)
Now in present days, this is, just like once upon a time, a special beauty soap that helps women gain confidence.
Modern day instruction:
Opens up the soap. Take a deep breath and get intoxicated with the romantic aroma of rose. Unfortunately still no Genie popping up or floating glittery spells in sight.
Rub the soap into a thick, luxurious lather, massage onto delicate areas (ok i think i found the closest translation to oxtoureepeus) for 30 seconds and then rinse thoroughly. As a bonus, because everybody loves bonuses, you can also apply it to other delicate areas.
Definition of other delicate areas:
(in case you are not from this century but traveled back in time from the future of a different language)
Breasts, bikini line, elbow and armpits
Moisturizes, tightens and dispels bad odour.
It is Anti-bacterial, locks in moisture to prevent dryness.
Removes pigmentation, improves skin elasticity and enhances rosy appearances.
100% natural and herbal. Includes rosemary extract, ginseng extract, jojoba oil, rosa canina extract and other natural goodness.
Love Soap, this Japan formulated product is super popular among Japanese girls (errr, and their partners, i supposed) for a healthier inner AND outer oxtoureepeus, improved le sexy times, and general well-being as it kills bacteria and eliminates bad odor. Most importantly a romantic love life.
The price is RM138, a little pricey for a soap huh? But no worries! Per piece lasts about 3- 6 month. You can purchase it in any SASA outlets, or www.tokyoninki.com.
Maybe it is still an urban legend like once upon a time, but so far i’ve heard people who used it swear that it works.
And so, Hana chan and Handsome Guy lived happily ever after.