So there’s no escape. I have officially turned into one of those people whose Instagram is full of their own baby’s pictures. Booooo.
As i was posting away (baby pictures, occasionally my own selfies in case nobody knows how i look like anymore), i keep getting comments asking (especially in Chinese): “不用坐月子吗？” (Don’t you need to do confinement?).
By no mean were they rude or anything, i’m sure they were just asking out of curiosity. But i am equally curious! Commenter Yvonnetham was absolutely right: What do they mean by “坐月子” (do confinement)?? How do they know i am not doing it? I mean how do they judge from a few Instagram selfies that i am not under confinement?
Okay if confinement means you totally cannot cross your house door even one step for one whole month, then yes i am a disqualified confinee because when Qiu came to visit me we went out to eat Japanese food lol. Oh yea? Did i mention Japanese food? Ok another rule broken.
Or isit because during confinement you are not allowed to look good?????
I guess this is what i should look to convince everyone that i am under confinement hor:
Say! Isit i have to look liddis 你们才甘愿. (Removed eyebrows for dramatic effect. And the ginormous fly because scared you all cannot see properly.)
I admit i put on make up when there are guests, or when i need to go out, or when i just feel plain vain because i didn’t want the first few pictures of me with my precious newborn looking like crap. I mean, he is so cute! How come the mother looks so like a homeless? XD
So yea! Back to the very definition of “confinement”. Curious, i went google image to see what Google and the world think confinement look like:
Right. I don’t blame you guys. No wonder all of you feel like shit.
See, i think the problem isn’t about whether somebody does “confinement” or not, but what the person sees “confinement” as. I personally think that “confinement” is a really good practice, because the whole meaning behind it, i believe, is to give the new mother abundant rest and peace to recover herself, when she has just gone through so much. Not to mention she is also not allowed to lift a finger to do housework, and all meals are cooked for her, and she even gets daily massages?!?!? Sounds like heaven to me leh!
But the problem is i don’t like the word “confinement” (who came up with it anyway?!?! Cannot just say “Sit Moon?” That sounds like some awesome galactic fun!). If your image of confinement happens to be like what Google thinks, then you are doomed liao. No matter what you do you are not gonna enjoy it.
A friend of mine who recently just gave birth texted me:
Not don’t do, just do it a different way.
To me i prefer to think of it as my “Baby Holiday”.
To my surprise i really quite enjoy it, since the first day i got home from the hospital! My mom is here to help me with my Baby Holiday, she is of tremendous help to clean up the house and cook some food and occasionally help change some diapers.
So for one whole month (or however long i want to take this Baby Holiday for), all i will do is to spend time with my baby, stare at him when he is awake or half awake, do some of my own things (like errr… write this blog post?) while he sleeps, take selfies with him for future precious memories, opening presents from friends, and… just enjoy the moments. Of course the not so fun part is that i spend most of the time being a cow… and a milk maid at the same time wtf and now i’m udderly a lactating mess and not to mention when… wait the baby is crying, brb.
Anyway as i was saying, basically just do whatever you like and don’t let other people stress you out! Being happy is the best path to recovery (i say wan. Feel free to quote me for free). Yes i washed my hair the moment i got back from the hospital and i drank room temperature plain water, unboiled (Cleansui water, to be exact), touched tap water with my hands (no need to wash milk bottles ah you all?!) and guess what?
I FEEL SO GOOD.
In fact i was wondering why confinement must be 1 month because two weeks have passed and i feel that i am ready to 重出江湖 lolol. (To those who say i won’t feel it now but will suffer when i’m old cuz i never follow confinement rules, fine. 30 years later only you come talk to me, okay?)
Ok that’s all.
Wait not finished yet. By the way, off topic but do you know when new moms actually need a proper confinement? WHEN THERE IS HAZE. Confine yourself. Yes, shut all windows tight, do not even step out of your house. It would actually be good for you. AND your newborn. I am just SO pissed off that this haze thing has become like an official weather category in Malaysia. What a beautiful hazy day!)
Whatever. *drinks cool water and calms self down*
Papa, baby and Champon sunbathing. When it wasn’t a hazy day.
Friends who came visit!
S size Junya and M size Fighter!
Huiwen QiuQiu Shuyin and Xiaxue came all the way from SG!!
Ordered Papa John’s and the girls were like “harh you can eat pizza de meh!!!” lolol. Why cannot???? I’m not a frog, or dying lol.
Mom and baby selfie ♡
So new moms out there, enjoy your Baby Holiday!
“high 5” ! Happy mummy = Happy baby !nImma also wash hair everyday, wear sleeveless top, short pants, mandi every night before i sleep and etc. I even go to “pasar” to bought some veg for my confinement lady to cook for us ! my confinement jaw drop when she saw me carried 2 bag of full vege !
Thank you for writing this post! nnI live in Australia, so i really didn’t care or bother about the whole “confinement” thing. When i was asked by my friends back home or those who still hold very strong cultural values re “confinement”, i was cursed by “you will know when you are old..”. -_-“.. I have learned to keep my mouth shut and nodded. nnBy the way, congratulations again! Junya is adorable!
Good for you for eating pizza ! Love a girl who has her own mind.
When I was in school, I had a teacher who came back for work a day after giving birth to her baby and she looked great! So I guess it is possible to just carry on with life after giving birth to a baby. And you’re looking great!!
Best post ever and i agree with everything!! Baby holiday ftw
Haha. My sister in law was so jealous of your confinement. She was like suffering in hell. She ask me if u just give birth why no weight gain. Maybe u can post something like what u eat during pregnancy… :p Junya and fighter are so cute~
Great to see a commercial-free blog post. Pls dayre… 🙂
i must take pictha with baby next time!
Happy Baby Holiday and well said!!!
my family also don’t follow the “confinement” superstition and all still healthy over 20 years later ~ your baby is so adorable!
Well said. I quite agreed with you too and you really look great even just after delivery. Hope you can write about your birth story 🙂 enjoy your baby holiday n
I feel relieved when I saw this post! I thought I had a really “bad” confinement where by I didn’t eat 30 chickens/month, didn’t take 10kg of ginger/month, started to bathe/wash my hair on the 7th day, drink 500ml of red dates water only per day, wear shorts and no socks throughout the day, wash hands with tap water everytime and much more! Not to mention we (my mom, myself and the newborn) also sneaked out to the mall after 2 weeks. Hahah. We should check with each other again 30 years later and see if our body really gets weak *touch wood*
Your mom is cool with it ah!! Then no problem
LL will agree with the part about being a milkmaid and a cow. Hehehe.
I am swedish so I have no idea what confinement really is, but I do think you set a really good example of being yourself and having fun, while also being a new mother!
Hi Cheesie! First off I would like to congratulate u on the birth of your beautiful newborn, Junya! He’s really cute. Second of all I wanna agree with u on the haze condition in Malaysia. I’ve actually been wanting to ask, why did your husband n u choose to deliver Junya here instead of in japan? Am sorry if this seems intrusive.
After reading about cleansui and the haze do you think you should get an air purifier as well?
OMH I used to go to your blog everyday (and Xiaxue’s one too) and I haven’t visited Cheeserland for many month, the last time I came here you announced your pregnancy.. .And now you have your baby !!! I was so surprised ! I discovered your blog several years ago and now you’re a mom *(I know it’s silly but I’m positively shocked lol) .* CONGRATS !!! 🙂 I’m so happy for you !!!!!! 🙂 Kisses from Europe for you and your baby ! 🙂
I wash my hair during confinement , so did my mum during her confinement. The main reason why ancient woman shouldn’t wash their hair is due to hygiene conditions! In fact doctors now encourage u to wash your hair because a mother being clean is really impt! But MIL keep saying cannot wash hair cannot leave house (I did both anyway), I just do it behind her back lor. Really irritating but I’m married to a Taiwanese and I have birth in Taiwan so had to live at my MIL’s place during confinement = =
I did!!! And blogged about it too
Cheesie, your baby is like you….. a lot of expression !!! 😀 😀
My cousin gave birth to her first kid in japan alone 13 years ago so she didn’t manage to do all the confinement thing and now it has taken a toll on her body (she experiences fingers pain/numb from time to time).nBut mostly because it was winter and she had to wash baby clothes with ice cold water plus she didn’t get to 补身体.nnAlthough some ancient rules are downright ridiculous (wtf how to not wash hair for a month with this crazily hot and humid malaysia weather), I do believe that female bodies are (mostly) ying and we need to eat some yang food to let the body recover. nnHowever i have to agree with Ringo, rest and happiness are the ultimate keys.
Hi cheesie, you have the cutest baby boy! Junya-kun’s smile just melts anything! You seem to be recovering fine, just curious did you deliver naturally or by c-sect? How was ur birth experience? Hope you could share. I am expecting myself and getting nervous when the day comes closer!
Hello Cheesie,nI wanna congratulate you and your husband. Your son is such a beautiful baby. I wish him good health and happiness.nI am from Czech republic and little bit older than you and I really enjoy reading your blog from time to time. Please enjoy your time being mommy and do not care about what people think you should or shouldn´t do, just do as you feel because it is the best way for you and your baby. Happy mommy = happy family :-)nDita
in fact, I didnt observe traditional confinement. I bath everyday like the usual. Even I wash laundry for baby clothes. only things I get to rest alot of time when my son sleep and my mother-in-law cook meals for me all days. That month was hottest weather that I sweat too much. I stand in front of fan. LoL! only sad part is I dont switch on aircon because mother-in-law would nag.nYou are fortunte to have wonderful mother who support ur decision so that u can enjoy smooth journey with ur baby.nMine was worst when I suffer postal depression becoz I am not comfortable with miL watch my boobs when I was breastfeeding my son.
Agree that a lot of the traditional practices are irrelevant these days. However, things like drinking red dates tea are more about nourishing the mother. The reason why water is not encouraged (although ok in moderation) is because it’s impossible to gain all nourishment through food intake (one can only eat so much in a day!). Red dates and gojiberries are known to be superfood, even in western practices. Red dates and gojiberries are good for Replenishing blood supply and thus, breastmilk supply.
Awww… Junya is so lucky to have such a pretty mum like you! I like how you handled your confinement period! The traditional concept of confinement is actually bordering on ridiculousness. Not being able to bathe or only being allowed to eat certain food is actually quite horrific haha. So glad you have the freedom to choose how you handle your confinement but still look gorgeous at the same time 🙂
Normally confinement last will do grocery ma no meh haha
Did you handle everything on your own with no help then?? I always wonder how Malaysians overseas do it!
What?!??! I couldn’t even get out of bed the next day lol. Your teacher must be a super woman
Ya I was planning to!! Oh no how come she suffer? Like physically or due to pressure?
I had a C-sec! But recovering well
Haha I barely even have one for blog
That’s great to know!
Will do when I have time! Thank you!!
Lol good to know mom and baby are together now!!! Take good are of her!!
Thanks so much! Is there any particular postnatal care in Sweden?
Cuz both of us have to work here 🙁
Thank you so much!!! And thanks for following for so long!!!
Oh yes I heard Taiwanese do the most proper confinement!! Came across lots of confinement books from Taiwan!
Got ah!! Haha all babies are like that ma
Oh yes winter is really tough, once you catch a cold it’s really a big deal. I always get sick in winter too. Luckily Malaysia so hot!!!
Congrats to yourself!!! I had a c-sec and literally almost broke down the night before out of fear lol
Thank you so much! Really appreciate it!
Some say aircon is absolutely no and some say fan is worse. I switched on both everyday since they contradict each other anyway lol
How come she watches you breastfeed?!? I would be weirded out too
Red date and goji are good! I take them too. It’s just that most of the practice I heard from friends is a complete ban of water, like none at all, red date juice 24/7, 30 days. I just feel that so much sugar can’t do your body good and it’s just ridiculous to not drink any water at all.
Yea feel really lucky!!!
I think both. Bec her girl cried a lot. She hasn’t been sleeping well since she pregnant so it was like 1 year with minimum sleep.
didn’t realise baby is solar powered!
really lolled at your confinement pics! so funny hahaha~~btw your boy is so cuteee~~~ <3
Hi Cheesie, I have been following your blog for goddamn years and this is the best ever! I am happy for you that you are feeling good! 😉 and you are so right about coining it as Baby Holiday yay ^^ I am at your age and I really hoping to have my own baby soon 😉 Congrats.
The best thing for a baby is parents who think about things and do research and come to rational conclusions. Your little bunny is lucky in that way! Always seek the truth … the right way … the best way. Doing it because we have done it for five thousand years is not the only answer and may not be the best one.
So envy that you are so fit during confinement. I do my bottle washing every 2 hours at nite, my hands got so numb and sore after a day. Then back got so painful which they said is due to wind attack. Keeps taking chinese med and luckily heal that before full moon.
Hello can I find out in the last picture of your post (selfie pic of you and baby), the cushion thingy that baby Junya is sleeping on, what is it call or the brand? Would love to get it as well. TIA! 🙂
eh? frogs cannot eat pizza one meh? bahahaah!! I NEVER KNEW 😀 hooray friends who came to visit!!!