With a newborn.

Alone.

So my mom had to go back to hometown earlier than scheduled due to family emergency on my day28 postpartum.

When she told me about it, i was like oh okay sure!Screen Shot 2014-07-09 at 3.49.49 PMScreen Shot 2014-07-09 at 3.50.00 PM

But my heart turned blue and was like

 

Anyway, that marked the end of my Baby Holiday™And ironically, that was also the start of my confinement, because i literally cannot step out of the house (not that i have the confidence yet anyway) and am grounded with the baby.

A few friends thought that i was crazy enough not to start finding or hire a maid/confinement lady/baby sitter when i was pregnant. Also they predict that if i wasn’t already crazy, i will soon be. Point taken.

But so far it wasn’t as bad as i thought because my mom was more like Junya’s mom than i am, i was pretty much just a milk machine wtf. I relaxed, did my work, put on make-up, even went out for dinners while she took good care of the baby. But eventually the day i feared has to come. And came it has.

After mom was gone, i stared at the danna, poker faced, didn’t know whether i should start freaking out or not. But he just told me one thing that instantly lifted me up. I suddenly feel like my life is full of hope and seeing the lights of a bright future wtf.

 

He said,

Well, this is the perfect chance for you to experience how being a mom in Japan is like. And this is the ultimate challenge for you. If you can do it, you will be sure that you can live in Japan.

 

I CAN LIVE IN JAPAN!

 

Actually the danna also said:

1. If you can take care of the baby, cook 3 meals a day, do the laundry, clean the house all by yourself and not go crazy, congratulations, you can now survive  in Japan.

2. If you can take care of the baby, cook 3 meals a day, do the laundry, clean the house all by yourself, at the same time prepare bento box for your husband (and kids) and not go crazy, you are a true Japanese mom.

3. If you can take care of the baby, cook 3 meals a day, do the laundry, clean the house all by yourself, at the same time have the godly patience to prepare Instagram Popular Page worthy Kyaraben (Character bento) for your husband (and kids), calculate all the calorie intake and always buy the most value-for-money household items and not go crazy, you can be a popular charisma housewife.

4. If you can take care of the baby, cook 3 meals a day, do the laundry, clean the house all by yourself, at the same time have the godly patience to prepare Instagram Popular Page worthy Kyaraben (Character bento) for your husband (and kids) and dress up and put on make up before your husband wakes up and only remove your make up after your husband falls asleep, you are a super star housewife. (And probably truly crazy).

 

(Eh i’m not joking. Watched a variety show on Japanese TV where this actress admitted she did that and her husband has never ever seen her without make up before in their entire marriage wtf.)

One of the reasons why i didn’t give birth in Japan as you all curiously asked was because i would be all alone. Without any family except my working husband and a crying baby. In Japan there’s no such thing as maid/confinement lady. There are helpers and babysitters but maybe only people like Ayumi Hamasaki  can afford because it probably costs more than your college fee. (Even some of the most popular models i know in Japan told me that they do their own housework.)

Everybody does it themselves. Lucky ones have family to help out, but millions of Japanese moms probably do it alone all the time. Right after delivery, they do all the cooking, grocery, housework, taking care of their child (sometimes more than one child!) while their husband work till late night. Some even had to do all these WHILE having a job. Don’t say Japanese mom la, our own grandmothers (my grandma had 11 children!!!!!) or even mothers also did it without all these help, their children never die also wtf if not we all won’t be here today.

SO WHY WE CANNOT??? Summore last time there was no such thing as washing machines/microwaves/vacuum cleaners/pizza delivery/Wikipedia/Google etc etc etc. What happened, modern moms???

 

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

 

So i decided to document a day of my life as a new mom taking care of the baby.

07:00

Get up (not wake up, since there’s no such thing as sleep) and feed Junya.

He drifts back to sleep and i did a quick pump session to boost supply.

07:39

Wash all midnight feeding bottles.

And sterilize .

 

07:54

Feed Champon and wash his toilet.

 

08:30

Eat breakfast with the danna.

 

08:50

Bathe Junya (and dropped my iPhone in the water and kelam-kabut-ly splashing water all over myself while taking this picture wtf.)

Successfully undrown him and changed him into new clothes. And myself.

 

09:08

While the danna is still around to keep an eye on Junya, go downstairs to run errand and come back, danna goes to work and i clean up dishes etc.

 

10:00

Feed a screaming baby.

 

10:31

While Junya falls asleep, it is the best time to cut his nails. WHY DO BABIES’ NAILS GROW SO FAST???? I just cut it few days ago!!! Sucking all the calcium off me T___T

And no matter how short you cut it it’s still sharp so have to file it off to not end up having a scar-faced baby. Cut half way he wakes up crying and comfort him back to sleep.

 

11:16

Take out the laundry. Then hop over the PC and check some emails.

 

12:15

FREAKING HUNGRY. And already failed first test.

Because no time to cook so i had food delivery for lunch.

Half way have to tend a wailing baby to change his diaper.

After changing he is still wailing so have to feed him while feeding myself.

I think in a few more weeks and i can rock-climb with just one hand. Also another astonishing new discovery : my feet are actually beyond dexterous. The amount of things i pick up from the floor while both hands are tied, and the degree of weird angles my legs are able to bend to accommodate feeding and multitasking. In a few more months i could probably build a castle with just one foot.

Then continue to finish trimming all his nails! (Now it’s time for mine)

 

13:26

Discuss with Champon about life in general and brush him.

 

13:40

Vacuum the house with Champon chasing around the dust machine.

 

14:00

Feed a screaming baby. Then continue to clean the house foreverrrrrrrr.

 

15:15

After a few decades of forever, tend to a screaming baby thinking it is nappy change time, and he decides to have a poo explosion the moment i open his diaper FML.

After some frantic cleaning up i was rewarded with a smile that makes at least half the troubles worth it.

Snack while watching over Junya’s tummy time.

 

15:49

Fold the laundry then console a fussy baby.

Finally he falls asleep on the couch and i heat myself a snack.

Then baby wakes up, feed, cuddle etc etc etc.

Baby naps again, mommy does some work, tends to crying baby, feeds, goes back to work….

The rest of the evening was a fuzz i couldn’t even be bothered to document what’s what. That’s when i failed the dinner test again. Decide i was just too lazy to cook so i napped next to Junya until the danna came back at night.

He made us dinner, and we ate straight out of the pan so there’s less dishes to wash wtf.

Finally it is time for the two of us to relax and catch up with each other’s day over dinner, until…

Junya insisted he wanted to join dinner too.

So the three of us ate dinner on the same table.

 

23:14

Attempt to write this blog post.

 

23:45

Decide to screw that and crawl into to bed.

 

To sum it up, my life:

And how i feel at night:

lolol

 

PS: In the end this blog post is done two days later over small stretches of baby nap breaks. If it sounds incoherent or doesn’t make any sense at all, that’s exactly how i am now.  Anyway. One thing at a time. Just wait, you award-winning-popular-page-worthy-hubby-and-kids-kyaraben.

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