Warning: This post is full of shit, which content may severely ruin your appetite. Visit Cheesepetit instead if you wanna continue your CNY-Binge-Marathon.
Ran down the supermarket aisle one day, and miraculously, all the food turned into shit. I’m not kidding. Like, all different kinds of shit. I think it has something to do with eating too much chinese new year shit.
And i suddenly turned into a scatologist who studies the appearance, size, texture, color, and smell of all kinds of shit, crap, faeces, poo, droppings, dump (I’m amazed at the amount of euphemism human can come up with, for something that comes out of an anal orifice).
So…. Let’s study shit.
(Research from a shitty website. Thanks for good shit that i could steal. Click for more shit.)
The Chunky Shit
The kind of shit that’s so enormous that you’re afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
The what-you-eat-is-what-you-shit Shit
When you discover that some macadamias resides comfortably in your shit, you know it’s time to chew better.
The Bunny Droppings
(I know! Forgive me, i love Hello Panda too! >_<)
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
The Liquid Bomb
That’s the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit
HOLY SHIT! It’s an adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can’t shit.
The Jello Shit
The type that comes out like shining toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
The Shit Pool
This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor.
The Odour Bomb
Innocent looking (usually black), but sends out odor strong enough to stink Osama out from his tunnel.
Last but not least…
The Tough Shit
So hard, it’s almost crunchy. You have to strain so much to get it out, that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
Thank you for your time for these crap. Wish you have good shit today!