How do you know your holiday has been absocheesinglutely awesome?

When your Nintendo DS and the book you brought are still sitting in the luggage. Intact.

My Shanghai trip has been one of the greatest holidays i’ve been on. And i’m about to list Shanghai one of my favorite places on earth. It was nothing like what i remember of 4 years ago.

And what’s more, i had the bestest Shanghai friend. Who speaks Mandarin (and French oh so sexy). No you can’t hang out with Oli. I have claimed ownership of him. You have to queue to get a number to queue for an application to be a Niu Nai Entourage. Cheeserland reserves the right to ruthlessly reject, terminate, modify, amend or suspend any application, including canceling any method of entry, and select a candidate from previously received eligible entries. Good luck. read more

As soon as i touched down, i thought i was gonna pass out.

But when i was still in Shanghai, i was healthy like a fresh daisy (those are Oli’s words). Isn’t human body amazing. It knows how to hold you up just so you could have fun till the very last minute. Same like a really really urgent tummy ache isn’t it.

Thank you Body. 😀
But now i’m down with an atrocious flu.

My sofa now looks like an orgy has just happened.

Me: Oli i’m sick
Oli: Awww
Me: 🙁
Oli: Take a Shanghai pill!
Me: Omg i totally forgot about it!
Oli: 😀 read more

Remember the Come Clean secret?

Now the voting has started, faster log on to Flyfm to vote for your favorite story (and help your best friend to win that Bali trip so she can invite you to go along with her. Hmmm. Beaches in Kuta.)

I don’t know about you but i adore Whisper (honest)! I had my first period when i was 14 (late boomer i am), and i can safely say i have been using it for 10 bloody years (pun optional) already! I had tried other brands once in awhile but in the end i still stick to Whisper. read more

Oli gave me a can of hair spray when i was doing my hair extension. (Thanks for waiting i less than 3 you!)

Must be a new sister brand from Za.

I turned the can to the back.

Then Oli made me read the instructions out loud. It was impossible. I couldn’t go on because i was trembling so hard it annoyed the lady who was doing my hair. I had to bite my hand real hard to stop the laughter.

Maybe you can try reading it out loud for me.

Now you can f*** the hair spray, for good.

(that’s our new favorite way of saying WTF.)

The weather is so siao.

Seriously. The first day i was here, i wore boots. And i looked like a freak because everybody else was wearing shorts and sandals. It had been crazy warm and i kept asking Oli where has autumn gone.

The fluffy clothes i brought here are a complete waste of luggage space. Then today, i finally decided to wear like i’m going to Bali. Tank top and jeans and bikini on the inside and tons of sunblock lotion. And i looked like a freak. read more

There’s only ONE (1, satu, ichi, yat) kind of exercise i will do. And i call it UCE (Ultimate Cheesie Exercise).

Why is that so? It’s because not only can it help you shape your body up swell… Wait that came out wrong. I don’t mean swell like, swell, but you know, swell. It’s also very sexy, fun, versatile and the best thing is, you can do another 100 other things while doing UCE. Like, reading, watching TV, surfing internet, camwhoring, painting your nails. No la i’m just kidding. read more

“If you’re awarded with RM15,000 CASH, how would you use it to fulfill your dream?”

My dream! Okay this is easy. I was just talking about it to a friend of mine. I love to talk about my dreams. I can go on and on and on.

First of all, i’m gonna book air tickets to Osaka (!), then Hokkaido, London (again), then London to Amsterdam, Mauritius, Sydney then Sydney to Brisbane, Seoul (again), Taipei (again and again and again and again)… then travel to all these places before i go back home and get my apartment done up really swell, and maybe look for a landed property that has a fountain and a garden the size of a zoo, because i am gonna keep 10 dogs. I want 2 Golden Retrievers, 3 Maltese (2f 1m) to play with Cheddie (and the male one can mate with her), 1 milo color Poodle, 1 Papillon, 1 Pommie (white fur, very rare!), 2 Huskies with eyes the color of a clear blue sky, and an Afghan Hound if i manage to get one. When my mansion (God i’m loving the sound of it) is done, i’m gonna move in with my 10 12 dogs, and rent my apartment out and start looking for a cottage house in some countries far away so i that can run away anytime i want. read more

Shanghai is kinda smelly. But there’s this omnipresent floral scent floating in the air everywhere we go!!! Oli and i tried sniffling around like a doook (that’s how he pronounces dog) but to no avail.

I’m very very disturbed. I really wanna find out where the scent come from! It smells like those little colorful fragrance beads i used to buy during primary school days and put them inside my pencil case. You know which type?? Different color got different smell one. We called it “xiang dou” (fragrant bean). read more

This was the most spontaneous decision ever.

It went like

“Oli where are you.”
“I’m in London.”
“Can i visit you.”
“You better be here fast, cuz i’m heading back to Shanghai soon!”
“Then i’ll see you in Shanghai.”

And so i bought a ticket to Shanghai.

And it’s gonna be the most relaxing holiday, ever.

I flew 2am and reached 7am at Pudong, Shanghai. Somehow the flight felt really short. Sat next to an empty seat, and the seat next to the empty seat sat a Japanese, who offered to let me stretch my legs across the seat. And i slept fitfully for a few hours. I called Oli the moment i touched down. read more

But i miss you.

When did you watch your first porn video?

I watched it when i was 19. My housemates forced me to watch one. They said is not normal if one hasn’t watch a single porn video at 19. So i watched lo. And it totally grossed me out. Although now i develop a liking for it and go to redtube.com regularly.

I was talking to KY the other day and i almost died laughing. I was asking him about his first porn watching experience.

Cheesie: how old were you when you watch your first porn!
KY: i think i was 12 or 13. it was some animal porn thing with my classmate, his dad’s collection, very tragic. can’t eat for 3 days
Cheesie: WHY!
KY: imagine EEL & vagina
KY: now imagine unagi. hahahah with the sauce
Cheesie: WTF.
KY: that time we were still watching VHS. Very tragic you know!
Cheesie: OMG!!! YOU ARE SO OLD
KY: so with sufficient practice, i perfected the skill of rewind till ngam ngam on the dot, where it was previously watch. cause last time the tapes got counter one.
Cheesie: what counter?
KY: like u start at 0000. when u play, it starts to go 0001 0002 0003 etc etc. if u rewind too much it goes back to 9999 9998 9997. so have to always reset first, play, then rewind back. if u play without resetting, maybe the number initially 1823, u play till 1900, FUCK, forgot initial number, damn tragic!!! then have to try to remember the scene.
Cheesie: HAHAHHAHAHA
KY: SO, ALWAYS RESET FIRST
Cheesie: OMG you are a pro
KY: and super tragic if the VCR “makan tape”. that is one of my biggest nightmare watching porn! have to unscrew the fucking VCR machine and take it out precariously ok!
Cheesie: HAHHAHAHA I HAVE THAT EXPERIENCE!!!
Cheesie: I remember “borrowing” my friend’s cassette without permission and kena makan tape!! Sooooo damn scared ok. Had to pull it out then use a pencil to straighten them, hopefully doesn’t look too crumply!
KY: HAHAHA
KY: and of course, u also learn how to remove and put back the tape in exactly the same way u found it. cos usually the tapes are hidden under a pile of other stuff, so u need to put back the exact same pile.
Cheesie: HAHAHAHAH
KY: and sometimes half way watching, and you know your parents are coming home, then you start to panic, faster take it out and rewind it ngam ngam and put back the same place.
Cheesie: HAHAHAHHAH
KY: and the most tragic thing is that, right after watching the tape would be very warm, and if the parents so happen touch it then you die la. so if let’s say i know they are coming back 5pm and it’s 4.50 now, i will take it out then quickly put inside the fridge for 5 mins.
KY: the fastest way to cool it down.
Cheesie: HAHHAHAHAHAH OMG PLS STOP. IMMA DIE OF LAUGHING read more

Did anyone see it yesterday? So beautiful. 🙂

PS: CCST night was so great. Sze’s snacks were awesome and TK’s music was pwning! And Ching we make the best drinks in the world! Love you!! I slept about 4am, but woke up 8am feeling F5ed. I think i’m going crazy! 😀 Ahoringo.

PS2: Remember to bring your DS next time!!! Mario Kart!!! (Now Lex is not here i can spare myself some humiliation.)

PS3: Happy birthday in advance sayang, just in case i forget to wish you at the airport! (But i won’t la!) (Won’t forget or won’t call, you ask? Exactly. Just in case i really forget. HAHAHA) read more