Pun of the day:
(…continues)Peacock: Oh shattap. I know you want my twelve incheese in cheese.
Cheesie: *snubs* Talk to the hen.
Peacock: But you’re a bunny!
Cheesie: *rolls eyes* Duh. Hence no mating.
Peacock: *winks* We can make easter eggs.
After yesterday’s entry, some people said i siao cuz i turned down such a yummy offer.

=(

But to spend so much time moderating a sex forum for a chance to get a 25% discount for, erm… condoms, is siaoer no?

To justify my action, i decided to visit ineedhouse to see if i really am missing out so much.

And there i was.

My first time visiting a sex shop!

*shy*

Eager, i walked into the shop hoping for some great sexcovery.

BUT!

Much to my dismay…

I found…

0_0

I walked further, hopefully to spot some kinky looking sex(y) toys.

Then again…

Walaoness, look at what other things i found.

LOL peeps do you play majong during your hola-hola session?

Apart from flavored condoms and lubricators and some lame suggestive costumes, (my bunny suit is waaaaaay better ok!) the only dubiously sexual looking item in the shop turned out to be a body protector–a personal alarm cum pepper spray. No pun intended.

I mean, how much more irrelevant to hot steamy *ahem* the stuff they sell can be?

Maybe i’m utterly unimaginative and lack sense of creativity, but you tell me, how can some key chains and crystal decos and money god charm bracelets spice cheese up your sex life?

Ok la. Prolly when you are screaming god’s name in vain, you wish at least the (money) god is beside you to witness it.

Oh oh by the way, there’s this one more thing called the Jelly Cum Cup Stimulator thingie. Whatever TF it means. After reading the caption, i sort of got an idea how it works. It says “vibrating oral action”.

All the MSN wink-wankers should buy this la! Dang. I’m sure it will sell like hot cheese soon.

That’s about the only *toy* i saw ler.

BUT!

That’s for guys! What about us GIRLS? Huh huh huh? Not fair! Why do only guys get the pleasure. -__-lll

Anyway.

When i walked out from the shop, i looked up and realized something…

No wonder lo.

Sigh. What a major disappointment.

BUT!

I’ve got a surprise from, who else but the sexay Penguin!

Ta Daa!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

All the way from Melbie!

After all, I don’t need to be a sex forum moderator la. =P

Pun of the day:
Peacock: Let’s mate.
Cheesie: Shattap, you cock of a pea size!
Peacock: Hoi! I’ll sue you for defeatheration!(to be continued…)

I’m highly convinced that people who use Alphemo, are people who have, for the first time in their life, discovered the alphabet and hence making up for lost time by abusing it to death. (In another word, loserish.)

This particular random MSNer MSNed me just now.

The rest of the chat here:

(Bugger, i can’t copy and paste directly, cuz i need to manually fill in all his missing Ws because of his stupid alphemo, Grrrrrr)

bluemmm says:
r u interest tat

cheesie de~ licious says:
haha

cheesie de~ licious says:
how much discount

bluemmm says:
25%

cheesie de~ licious says:
do i get free product?

bluemmm says:
condom u want

cheesie de~ licious says:
condom only?

bluemmm says:
what u want

cheesie de~ licious says:
what do you have?

(I was hoping that he would at least mention something like the strawberry penis candy devoured by a certain warm igloo habitant sometime ago, since vibrator is banned in Malaysia. -_-lll)

bluemmm says:
condom loh

cheesie de~ licious says:
……

bluemmm says:
if u done well

bluemmm says:
i will look how

bluemmm says:
emm

bluemmm says:
to send u a gift loh

cheesie de~ licious says:
what gift?

bluemmm says:
emm

bluemmm says:
www.ineedhouse.com

bluemmm says:
i will c how loh

cheesie de~ licious says:
Thanx for the offer anyway.

cheesie de~ licious says:
I need to blog now. LOL.

Most of you don’t get my obsession with cheese. To tell you the truth, I didn’t get it either?

But today, lemmi share a little secret with you.

One day, I asked mom whether she ate a lot of black soy sauce or chocolate ice cream or Godiva extra dark when she was pregnant with me, because I was slightly dissatisfied with the color of the product of her pregnancy.

Mom: No. In fact I drank a lot of milk leh. I’m surprised you turned out tanned. But you were very fair when you were much younger.

Cheesie: (stares at mom in utter disbelief) You drank milk? like, M-I-L-K milk?

Mom: Yea. Like fresh-from-the-udder ones. I wanted to make sure you had enough vitamins.

Cheesie: 0_o

Mom: Oh yea. When you were in my stomach, I had this weird craving for eggs and cheese every day, especially in the morning. Very strange huh. I didn’t even like cheese in the first place!

***********************************************************************

Well. Now you kinda get the idea no? It’s in my vein! By the way, I was born in the rat year. =)

The reason why and how I got so obsessed with cheese doesn’t really matter a lot to me. The fact that my mom, who would rather eat bitter gourd raw than drinking milk actually consumed one big glass everyday when she was pregnant to make sure the baby turn out healthy and, uh, fair (although much to her and my disappointment) , struck me hard.

I will never understand the things a mom can and is willing to do for her children, perhaps until I actually become one myself.

I’m very very VERY VERY lucky to have one like you, mom. You are my family. It shocks me to even try to imagine what you have gone through for freaking two decades as the sole bread (and cheese) winner.

I can never understand how you managed to cope with these baby shit (pun intended) all by yourself. I myself am very headache about my several confusing altercheesegoes already. And you managed to multitask as my mom, my father, my nurse, my cook, my siblings, my counselor for good 22 years. And of course my lecturer (literally) and my bank too.

Sometimes my fashion advisor?

How many of you would actually wear matching tops with your mom?

How many of you actually share wadrobe with your mom?

I cannot ask for more. You have given me more than I deserve. Like I said before, I am your only and everything. But you can’t be my only and everything. That is so unfair. And that makes me feel like rotten shit, because I never feel what I have done for you is ever enough.

You are the most selfless and selfish person on the planet i know. You are so selfless you give everything to me, unconditionally. You are so selfish you give everything ONLY to me, unconditionally.

I couldn’t materialize several hopes that I have given you earlier, I’m very sorry. But the least I can do, I will eat more veggies, I will definitely try to sleep earlier. Promise.

All these while, I tried hard to become a person you will be proud of. It is not all about getting a full scholarship with 9A1s in an SPM cert, or appearing in another magazine ad, or looking extra photogenic on the right face, or winning some contest and be adorned with some fancy titles.

No.

It all only matters, when one day somebody mentions my name, I see a contented smile on your face, and hear you utter softly, “that’s my daughter. And she is a wonderful daughter.”

Happy Birthday Mom. Love you cheesy lots.

Pun of the day:
Thank you for your participation. I must say your guesses are very wild done.

The Answer:
1.B
2.A
3.B
4.B
5.B
6.A
7.B
8.A
9.B
10.A

The bad news is, no one scored 100%. HOWEVER, there’s a miracle. I’ll elaborate on that later.

Take a look at the result (in descending order):
1. Secret–Congratulations! You’ve got 90% correct.

2. Albert, Leanne, plue_lp and a2blog–You all scored 80% correct. Well done!

3. Errr, your first attempt got you 70% and your 2nd attempt was 80%. However, only the first submission is counted. Try harder next time, and don’t try to confuse my readers! =P

4. Navicgator and AJ, you both scored 40%. My passing mark is 40%, so yes! =)

5. Lous, you scored 30%. Thanx for trying anyway! =P

Last but, erm, least?

Here comes the miracle. You won’t believe this.
Damion, you are the first person responded to my quiz, and you…

Well, i’m honestly very amazed at your ability to achive such a… brilliant(?) result.

What are the chances of scoring 0% for an Either Or quiz?!?

It is just as good as scoring 100%!!!

So yes, booby prize for you–a mirror, for vanity/convenience sake!

Pun of the day:
I Vant to Vatch V For Vendetta Vith you. Vhen are you a-Vailable?

Since I’m utterly hopeless in writing a macho blog, I decided that I’ll drown everyone in my cheeserland with my incorrigible bimboness from now on.

After reading The Right Angle Part I and Part II, Peachick came out with this idea to confuse everyone with my left and right face.

Hey that sounds fun! People say constantly looking at bigass pictures will make you mentally retarded. Therefore, to prevent such misfortune from happening, I made a little picture quiz that will help you exercise your brain a bit. Like how mahjong is good for the senile people kinda thing, you know.

After rummaging through 23GB worth of photos in the cheese gallery, I finally found 10 (Yeah… that’s quite a lot. But teachers always give 10 questions for spelling/dictation quiz no?) suitable pictures—a mix of my left and right face.

Each picture is duplicated and flipped to the opposite side. Now you can see two cheesies of the same pose on both the left and the right face. Like the mirror effect.

However, which is the original (unflipped) one?

Have cheese guessing!

P/S: For those who are too lazy to make your brain run some 10x100m and just want to see bigass photos, enjoy and bon cheesepetite!

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

PP/SS: Some of the pictures are surgically-enhanced because I had to PS-ly remove a mole that sells my left face out. Pardon that!

Pun of the day:
*This commercial is sponsored by World Wildlife Featheration*

Penguin and Cheese Protection Guide

1.They are both sun-phobic
This rare and exotic penguin specimen, as to be predicted, suffers adverse reactions to sun exposure. She gets a horrible sunburn when…bah, screw global warming.

Penguin’s vulnerability to heat is quite similar to the cooking motion that a piece of cheese goes through. The cheese will either melt, or get grilled till chao da.

2.They both need a cool habitat.
Penguin hides in her fishie-laden igloo while Cheese resides in her, well, cheesy, fridge.

3.They are both cheeseen.
They need to be fed with a strict attention-only diet. Please DO NOT feed otherwise.

4. No petting allowed.

Failure to adhere to these rules will force Penguin into extinction and hasten Cheese’s aging process hence make it grow (m)old.

Save them now.

Pun of the day:
Cheesie: Hoi! 12am oredi. Faster submit your pun.
Peachick: Oh no! Do i get pun-ishment if i don’t submit?
Cheesie: Cheez you are *that* good. On the spot.
Peachick: If only on G spot too.

Keju said it’s like winning some Jalan Alor Singing Contest. LOL. But still, thank you so cheesy much, whoever voted for me. Effort much appreciated. =)

Pun of the day:
Keju gave me a ciplug yesterday.

Does anyone ever get tired of reading a bimbo blog? Bigass pic bigass pic bigass pic bigass pic bigass pic and MOREEEEEE bigass pic. Trust me, you’ll sooner or later get tired of someone’s right face.

I would very much like to refrain myself from posting more bigcheese photos of myself. I should instead write about issues that can perhaps make the world a better place to live in. Issues like, say… (well, do my pictures still count?) the rising cost of gasoline or the cruelty and maltreatment at Abu Gharib Ghaib Grahib Ghraib prison in Iraq?

No no no no. I don’t want to be found dead in my bedroom due to brain overload.

Keju tried to write a bimbo blog. Why don’t i write a macho blog post then.

Well what can be more macho than men and cars?

Talking about cars, you automobically think of Paultan.org. Since the Penguin did a spoof post on Smash-a-loli-pop, i might as well pull a stunt on this manly man.

However. Just two seconds two minutes after reading his macho blog, i was convinced i’m a complete failure at attempting to write anything remotely macho.

Look at how i suck at car reviews.

This is a carshow in Jusco Seremban 2.

This car is, erm… cool.

This car is… well, hot.

This car is….. cheesy? =D

Oh look! Even the interior is… cheesy? Oh, Holy too.

What is a car show without, erm, chicks? Where are the chicks dressed in midriff baring tube tops and miniskirts and knee-length white boots????

Then i suddenly realized they were using a different approach in Seremban. Their model is (yes, *is*, not *are*) much shorter. Even if you are five feet nothing you can still nail a job easily.

As long as you can balance a balloon on your tongue.

It attracts just as much attention as boobies and sky high hemline!

Maybe they don’t have enough budget to hire hot chicks, maybe they think Seremban people are slightly pedo-prone.

But this little hunk really melted my heart leh. He was so cute can. I think i started to have a crush on him already.

I would rather give up *ahem* for three days just to be seen together with him in the same photograph!

Whoa check this out. Everyone in the mall started to get hypnotized by him.

sorry got typo. Please pretend you have dyslexia please. -__-

Oh by the way. I’m trying to look good on my left face. In case you haven’t noticed. =)