Need some cheeseback.

=D

The most sought after ARRRRGLY Maxis print.
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That’s after the shoot. You can see my hair all straight oredi, after soaking in the rain. But it was damn dry after the “roasting”. What the hell, freaking waste my money for another hair treatment only siah. =(

Oh yes. They did unbutton my top but too bad no cleavage la. Want to see cleavage, go visit Jasiminne the Penguin instead.

😛

I’ve been reading some entries in an old blog these few days. There’s this particular post written long long time ago i did not publish here due to some reasons.But i decided to share it today!

Have cheese.
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The Maxis ad is out!

Three handsome young men in green uniform holding umbrellas escorting a pretty pretty ugly rich girl to her sapphire BMW.

For whatever “Intensive multi-data coverage” shit and I don’t care because that was the stupidest ad I’ve ever done.

Screw Maxis for such a stupid shoot, and not opening on New Year and the day after new year. What lazy bums! And screw Maxis for barring my line for a whole day after I’ve done all the renewal and stuff.

And *thank you* Jason for your carefully-structured-so-that-it’s-politically-correct remark that the ad looks so “unflattering” of me.

Okay I admit I look UGLY but not as UGLY as you described okay!! You scared the shit out of me when you made it sound as if I looked like the female Michael Jackson with no teeth. And the only good thing you could ever say was “that pearl necklace looks kinda nice”?!?! Arrrgh!

Anywee yes I look ugly in the ad. The reason I was chosen is because they said I look mix(-malay, I know, -_-). (Same reason for the Rejoice tvc, but that time was mix-vietnamese. *slaps face* Cheesus Crust). But screw you Maxis, I know I’m already tanned but you don’t need to make me so tanned like a kit-kat bar!!

So if you think doing an ad is easy, fun and is the path to earn quick $, lemmi tell you the truth.

On the shooting day, call time was 7am. But we waited endlessly for another hour only to start doing our make-up. When we finally thought we could start the shoot, the director wanted my hair curly to match the elegant rich girl image. Thanx to him, everybody had to wait another one and half hour and I was made to look like the culprit just because my hair is so freaking long!

The wardrobe fitting for me also took forever (unlike the guys who already had a standard uniform). I was supposed to look expensive, rich and all, so whatever I brought wouldn’t suit. When they finally settled on this lovely golden-beige sleeveless dress, temporarily sewn to fit my body, the director came and said please change another one because you-know-la, there’re a lot of Muslim audience and sleeveless dress might look tak senonoh.

Ok fine. So I changed to a golden-beige long sleeve top and an ivory A-line skirt. And when we finally were about to start shooting, the director said to the fashion coordinator, “Unbutton her top abit la, show some cleavage.”

WTF

And why did you even bother whether my right leg or left leg steps out first when you don’t even show my legssss in the ad?!?

And the last straw!!!

The rain is real!!!

Screw you Maxis, can’t you just freaking hire a good Photoshop expert (eg me *smug*), instead of using a whole truckful of water for the rainmaking!!!!

Because, go look at the ad, the rain looks so eff-king FAKE anyways!

So what is so wrong to PS the rain instead of making us all wet like cottage cheese soaked in water, then blew dry my clothes then freaking poured the rain again…And my hair became as straight as ever when it’s wet. Pity your effort, you cheesy little hairstylist.

And dear director, I would really apprciate if you could demonstrate how it is possible to “walk gracefully” in the rain. Please enlighten me really.

Idiots.

In memory of the bunnies i couldn’t save.

Oh yea.

I missed out one.

I know it is not your fault for not being able to resist the curiosity and urge to discover how unpopular you are and thus have clicked that stupid link and got infected by a certain virus, which in result caused a mass find-out-who-block-you MSN havoc.

The one who came up with this stupid shit should drown him/her/shim/itself in a teacup filled with his/her/shims/its own poo.

Please, everyone, it is a freaking virus. Don’t even try to click it.

By the way, if you think Pretty Boy is the most immature and oafishly hilarious online creature you’ve ever come across, think again.

Check out that virus carrier’s MSN address.

OMFC.

Pretty Boy has grown. INTO A HANDSOME MAN!!!!

Since when you male species have become so much more narcissistic than we girls????////slashslashslashslash

Why do you even snort at nicks like (well, not like i prefer any of them) “cute angel”, “kawai girl”, “sexy baby”, “sweet princess” when you guys call yourself PRETTY BOY and HANDSOME MAN ?!?!?

Cheesus Crust.

Uh. I’m outta here. Me super gorgeous cutie mesmerizing hot bunny.

Duh. *snort*

P/S: Guys. No gender bashing intended. Just pulling your *ahem* alright. =P

MSNing is no different from verbal communication except that you move your fingers instead of your mouth.

I’m a self-professed MSN addict so please. Have some MSN etiquette too. If not I’ll just go siao and become a silent bunny.

Or worse. Now you know the truth behind why you see me offline forever.

So please please please. Avoid as many MSN sins (explained below) as you can. Build some good karma so that after you kaput, maybe, you will meet a red-head bunny and screw non-stop in heaven. Just maybe.

1.Excessive emoticons and winks

I know you are being extra emo during PMS and I can empathize, just don’t over do it ok? Winks are fine too but when you keep winking hor people will think your eyes are spastic and it is so infectious it makes my MSN windows retarded.

See if you keep winking, like this:

You might end up like this:

For the rest of your life!!

Scary anot!

2.Constant Nudging

Don’t you just hate it when you’re in the middle of typing something and someone decides to harass you by nudging then you find the last half of your sentence typed in the wrong window?

Just because you haven’t had sex in two days doesn’t give you the rights to molest me by nudging me nonstop until my MSN hangs and commits suicide. You pathetic orgasm-deprived morons.

Chances are they are the habitual spastic winkers too. Go away and get some wanking. Wink wank wunk.

3. The ZZZZ

Haizzz I noezz u r very the sienzzzz when u typez 10 linezzz and I onlyz replyzz a “yezzz”, until u r fallingz ZZZZ. Butz addingz ZZZ afterz everyz wordz likez dizzz izzz juzzzz bloodizz annoyinzzzzz. Sighzzzzz.

4. CAPs

YOU DON’T TYPE IN ALL CAPS WHEN YOU ARE NOT ANGRY. I’M TYPING LIKE THIS NOW BECAUSE I AM ANGRY. AND WHEN I TYPE LIKE THIS YOU KNOW IT IS TIME TO SHUT UP.

5. Font & background

I know you might be having a fancy gothic black background with Manson sticking his tongue out for your chat window. But keep in mind that most of us just like to be plain kosong. So if you type in such very snow white font you ask me how to read leh? Your sentences are so important i have to highlight every one of them izzzzit?

6. Typing one word one line

i

am

just

too

tired

of

scrolling

up

and

up

and

up

so

why

don’t

i

just

block

you

thank

you.

7. Alphemo

Alright. I tahan your wink. Fine. I swallow your emos. Fine. I decode all your fancy font. Fine. I decap all your CAPS and de-Z all your ZZZs. Fine. I can even ignore your nudge. FIIIIIIIINE!

But the very very very one thing I absolutely cannot tahan is the alphabetical emos. Let’s call it the alphemo.

Just don’t anyway anyhow anywee anycheese save any and every alphabet/numeric emo for collection ok. I don’t even need 26 to get a full blast headache.

One sentence i already feel like punching my bunny softie in the tummy til it gets punch-drunk.

What’s worse!!

You tell me what does that sentence mean. So cryptic!!

In order to decrypt, you have to

1. Click the emo.

2. Right click

3. Click “add”

To freaking see the actual code.

(Or is there a shorter cut? Pls pls pls lemmi know if there is. Cuz i always learn the hard way.)

So fun and interesting right?!?

Maybe.

MAYBE NOT!!!

TELL ME HOW LONG DO YOU NEED TO FINISH DECODING????????////slashslashslash

WHY CAN’T YOU JUST MAKE CONVERSATIONS SIMPLER?

I’m outta here.

*breathes deeply*
*bends into a yoga bunny*
*ommmmhh*

Oh yea.

Only 7 sins? Where are the 8th, 9th and 10th sins right?

Ok ok.

8. I’m lazy to explain d so click here

9. I’m lazy to explain d so click here

10. I’m lazy to explain d so click here

P/S
Those of you who can’t view my blog properly pls lemmi know alright. It has problem loading in almost all browsers but IE. Sigh. Who can volunteer to fix it?

*bunny sobs*

You tell me. How obscene can a cup noodle be?

Just when i thought that cup noodles (now they come up with bowl noodles and even lunchbox noodles) are getting more and more innovative…

But to catch attention like this is uh….
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Abit too much right.

-_-lll

The Japanese words literally read something like “liquid soup included”.

0_O

HOW CAN THEY SELL SUCH NOODLES OPENLY IN THE SUPERMARKET!!!

PORN NOODLES!!!

HOI, WHERE’S THE CENSOR BOARD OFFICER!!!

Anycheese.

It tasted quite good la.

Oh. I know Keju Sia is sprinting to the nearest supermarket now. LOL.

Every Tuesday is a Cup Noodle day for Mozzie, Sze Kerng and Cheesie.

You see. Food in Limcockwing sucks THAT much, we’d rather buy Mamee from the wholesale dealer in bulk to survive the rest of the semesters. Thank Cheesus i’m graduating in two month’s time.

Each of us bring a cuppie to the college every Tuesday (it’s the only day we have to stay for lunch) without fail .

Hence we have started this club thingie. We even have a name for it. It’s the CheeSezMo Cup Noodle Club.

Uh. That sounds like a tongue twister. Let’s call it the Club Noodle then.

Now let us give you some insight on “How to savour a cuppie”.

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4

Step 5

Step 6

Step 7

If you have a big cheesepetite, repeat step one to step seven~

=D

Happy cuppie day!

After committing Bunni-O-cide, i ate the bunny.

I’m not kidding.

I. ate. the. bunny.

It was chopped, minced, pressed and cooked into confit. The meat and bones and marrows were double-boiled into this concentrated cup of bunny essence.

Whoa i tell you. The feta cheese in the essence tasted damn good.

Wanna see the proof?

I even have the recipe for it. This is the short description.

I felt so beastly.

The dysfunctional, crippled bunny mutated into a fluorescent werebit. Sorta like Hutch. No, more like Wallace the Werebit.

Wait. It is not even a Werebit. It’s more bizarre than that.

Look.

Bunny ears are mutating into long antlers.

Sharp claws are emerging from the soft paws.

I shall call the mutant aBist. Its nature is similar to that of a hybrid of bitch+beast.

Hence the Bist.

Beware! The curse of the Bist is befalling!!!