Photoshoot with Kevin Han.

Outfit is for sale at Cheesie’s Wardrobe.

It’s funny, talking about ‘room to let’, i remember people always like to conteng on the “TO LET” sign board outside a building, and insert an “i” between the two words.

I’m posting this up only because the room was taken. Was supposed to help Kiki advertise on Cheeserland but she didn’t want any stalkers.

A lot of people called after we pasted it up in the nearest 7-11. And as if the room is super prestigious, people who came to visit the room must also go through an interrogation interview. This is how Kiki normally started it.

Kiki: So what year were you born in?
Visitor: 1982.
Kiki: That makes you a dog right?
Visitor: Erm…. Yea. Why does it matter?
Kiki: Oh. Need to see if we’re compatible ma. You know, i don’t wanna end up arguing with my housemate everyday and having my furniture stolen.
Visitor: Err… okay. -_-
Kiki: So what star sign are you?
Visitor: Gemini.
Kiki: Hmmmm.
Visitor: So? Can or not?
Kiki: Ok la. Will call you once we decide.

Fuiyoh. Macam job interview sial.

By the way i’m upset Melinda Doolittle got eliminated from American Idol. 🙁 I just hope Blake won’t win it.

Received these from someone who proposed to me months ago.

They are supposed to be portraits of me.

I’m just curious.

Guys, how exactly do you shop for your working apparels?

For the first time i temaned guys to shop for their office wear. I was horrified.

Every single piece of shirt looked exactly the same to me! Except in color and the width of lines printed on it. I can easily photoshop a hundred patterns with one sample.

Gary was asking for some opinions. So I picked up a shirt with chocolate hue and strawberry stripes.

Me: I think this looks nice.
TT: Are you out of your cheesing mind? Of all things, this is the most ah beng piece i can find in the entire shop.
Me: 0_o How… so?
TT: It just is! Ask Gary.
Me:*turns to Gary* Do you think this looks very ah beng?
Gary: OMG! So geli! This is the epitome of all ah bengness!
Me: ……

I had no idea. With my taste, i decided that i just shouldn’t buy anything for a man.

Me: Then which exactly do you think is nice?
TT: *points to a wallpaper* This.

Me: What?! That’s because the model is hot! The shirt is no different from any other i’ve seen.
TT: Haiya you dunno one la!

🙁

How to be tasteful in choosing men’s formal wear? Material? Brand? Color? The cutting is all the same! Guy’s fashion is so awfully sien.

Isn’t it pathetic? Think of a man’s shirt, you draw this.

Can be completed with two strokes!

Think of a girl’s top, you have a hundred ways to draw it. Also, you can choose to expose whichever part you like, neckline, midriff, back! And you can play with whatever colors you want. 😀

Men’s shoes are even more horrifying. They are only available in two colors.

And i can never tell their difference.

It’s really a blessing to be a girl! 😀

They can even wear cheese bread and tortoises on their feet.

Everyone is having a hard time deciding what to give their mom this coming Mother’s Day.

Mom is a Taurean and she’s the downest to earth person i’ve ever known in my entire life.

The horoscope says Taurus moms like things that keep their value such as jewelry. NOT TRUE! She doesn’t own a single piece of jewelry, make-up set or any fancy handbags. She definitely doesn’t go branded. Not someone i can bribe love with some Ferragamos. Cash is like so cold, and Ogawa massage chairs are like, super cliched and EXPENSIVE!!!!!! What do buy for a mom who doesn’t have preference for almost anything at all?

She’s into ONLINE-ing nowadays! She’s Cheeserland’s biggest fan! I think hor, i should buy her a domain such as cheesemom.com or mydaughterischeeseseen.com or chasiuland.com (I’m still not sure whether she thinks that having a cheese-obssessed daughter is better than giving birth to a piece of honey-glazed cha siu.)

So headache.

UNTIL!!

I saw this outside Ikano Pet Safari. Inspirational!

OMC! I should have thought of this earlier! I should buy her a PUPPY!!! Since i’m away from home and she’s so lonely,

I went to a pet shop yesterday, (if you always see a cheesy shadow creeping in pet shops, always 混吉 only no buy one, sure as hell it’s me) and i saw a FREAKING CUTE Maltipoo!

You know Maltipoo right, Maltese-poodle. Damn cute and kesian-looking one, cappuccino color. That’s the cutest dog in the entire pet shop. I was almost tempted to buy!

It looks something liddis.

But! I remember when Maltipoos grow up hor, they are very ugly one!

Not cute!

Ugly.

Ugly!!!

Very the ugly %&!%@~(0(@

OMC Jessica Simpson has a Maltipoo that looks like something from Resident Evil.

Why is that the Babypoo is so cute but turns fugly when it grows up? 🙁 *baffled*
I don’t like. My dream puppy is Jojo.

Anyway! Puppy for mommy yes!

I know she’s going to say “You siao cheese, what you’re buying for me is trouble!”

🙁

How? What are you buying for your mom?

Happy Birthday to you!

Whatever i want to say, is still the same as last year‘s.

Alabiu kao kao!

OMC been prisoning myself at home day and night chasing after Michael Scofield and the rest of his gang who broke their prison! And now i need a break! Just a short one.

He is so, cute. =)

Can you believe he’s 35 year old???? He looks 22!

Anycheese. A picture i took an hour ago.

Beautiful anot?

Maybe you don’t stay in KL (and Malaysia for this matter) and don’t get this kind of sunset in a city. But behind the picture, is weather hotter than Holly Valance (yea, saw her sexy booty in Prison Break). I’m scared! I keep worrying when the ozone layer will disappear.

The guy who fixed my air-con today said he’s hasn’t been able to take a break since last week. He has been busy FIXING AIR-CONS! In fact, there’s nothing much wrong with their air-cons, except that the weather is so boiling hot everybody thought something went wrong with their air-cons.

HOW???????666

Don’t feel like going out AT ALL! All i want to do now is to fix a second air-con in my room, put up dark curtains and turn on some zen music. Somebody donate ice? I need some cool flooring.

Time to get back to my Prison. Brie!

They are all cheesy horror movies i wished i hadn’t watched.

Pardon the pun, of course.

Nowadays horror movies are either,

1. Utterly cheesy featuring actors with zero talent and have every single horror movie cliche on earth shamelessly recycled (spooky kid’s drawing of a family, shabby dark house miles away from civilization, parents that will never believe you, attempts to grab a weapon 1 inch beyond reach, a SEEMINGLY dead enemy who revives, and an incredibly predictable “shocking ending”) and a gazillion plot holes more than a swiss cheese can have.

or

2. Pointlessly disgusting and blatantly brutal in an attempt to gore you out of the cinema.

Either way it makes you wanna puke.

After watching The Hills have Eyes II (and chopped hands, headless bodies, splashing bloody innards, smashed face by an axe),

Me: “Cheez this is the mostest disgustingest movie ever. I wanna throw up.”
Gary: “Let’s go eat steak.”

-_-|||

Don’t understand why they make those movies in the first place. Have they got no brains? The worst horror films i’ve ever watched include: (Some are stupid beyond human conception you remember them forever, the rest are so completely forgettable i had to IMDB them.)

Jeeper Creepers, White Noise, Creep, Turistas, BOOGEYMAN (Oh kill me please), and WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (OMFC kill me twice please).

Prior to the production, have they, for a second, sat down and thought if their stories actually make any sense? Or do they all go like, “OMFG i had another case of bad diarrhea last night after eating that cream cheese pasta for lunch. Okay, i think i’m going to make a horror film based on cheese. Hmm..that should work. No one has ever scared people with cream cheese before. Okay, i’m gonna call up Paris Hilton right now and see if she’s interested.”

Oh yea?

I guess i can do better.

What’s the worst horror movie you have seen in your life?

Pun of the day:
Mosquito zappers are such a hit.

I can’t believe there are actually people who come up with 11 ways to treat a mosquito bite!

Wtf. -_-.

How else can you treat a mozzie bite other than scratching it frantically until it’s no longer itchy, and maybe putting some ointment, at most?

OMC why are the kwai los making such a big deal out of some pokes by a tiny insect?

Yes yes, mozzies are the mostest annoyingest living thing in the world (or in your room). I’ll rather have five frogs than a bloodsucker that keeps me sleepless at night in my bedroom. To illustrate its utmost annoyance, i’ve included a mozzie in all my pictures below to send you goosebumps.

Anycheese.

I was just wondering. When you get a mozzie bite, what do you do? I’ll do just anything to stop the itch!

Do you, scratch?

Cheez I love my long nails.

If you do, do you just scratch like a doggie digging bones with 4 fingers, or, scratch around the bite? (I don’t understand why people do that, maybe to prevent infection. But heck, that’s like drinking sea water to quench thirst.)

Do you pinch it like you do to your baby cousin’s apples? You get that sadomasochistic pleasure! 😀

Sometimes poking seems to gimme that sugar high!

The Golf Ball poke.

But poking with your fingernail is much more fun!

Mostly i poke a cross.

Or a square.

Or lines… Or other design. See how creative you are lor (and the size of the bite).

If that still doesn’t satisfy, the try Mozzie Box. Sure very SHIOK!

Last but not cheese.
Or something you can kill your time (and itchiness) with.

😀

We’re supposed to go to Yang Ming Shan on the second day for uhm, “flower-watching”.

Fancy staircase.

We did go, though it was after some frightening bus experience. We had to take a bus to go up and down the mountain. The bus was so freaking mini, we had to stand and hold so tightly to the bars. The road was wobblier than jello and the entire bus was shaking like SHAKIRA’S BACKSIDE! When we finally got down from the bus, our stomaches were turned upside down like a glass of ice-shaken milo.

That’s about all the flowers we saw in the entire mountain. -_-

Sort of potonged the steam a bit but nevermind. We were going to Beitou for hot spring!

Spent half a day in Beitou. Sunset was beautiful. =)

Steaming hot Kiki, literally!

Cheesh i’m sorry. I’m soooo cheesily infatuated with the devastatingly charmimg magician.

Some stupid photos.

Chiwawa in a dress!

Outside some shop pasted this notice that says “Smile, you’re under surveillance” and some stills of the recording. Some one got busted stealing bags in that shop. -_-

Oooh, here’s the food we ate!

Lu Rou Fan.

How to say Lu in english ah? Braised? Stewed?

A little too fatty but very delicious!

Shredded chicken rice. Something very simple but super yummy!

Shopping in Xi Men Ding!

The shop spells Ringo! Omcomc 😛

Then Ma La steamboat for dinner.

This is the best steamboat sauce in the world. We didn’t know how to mix all the obscure stuff, and one pretty, friendly girl customer offered to do it for us. So nice!

Supper!

Stinky Pot Noodle. Just bought it out of curiousity.

We were super duper mega ultra tired that day. All of us couldn’t feel our legs when shopping in Xi Men Ding but Kiki and I kept on telling TT “just this last shop” and “just one final look” but we kept being attracted to walk into all the fashion boutiques!!

Commercial Break:

I know you’re bored. Wanna do me a BIG, CHEESY FAVOR? Go!

Seriously!

Do you have a problem deciding what to eat everyday? Finding out just what pleases my taste buds gave me a splitting headache everyday.

But no longer. Ever since i fell in love with mixed rice.

You’re right. Mixed rice. Zhap fan. 什饭。 Not the nicely decorated platter served in Mandarin Oriental

But the cina ah pek style one.

It’s possibly the easiest choice to make and the best thing to have for a meal. I used to depise those trays of cold dishes and chunks of cheap rice. I used to think that sitting in a hot, stuffy hawker center eating mixed rice is the most bah lia thing ever, after rainbow socks with fluorescent green leggings.

I’m so ashamed of myself having even had that thought in my mind. Zhap fan is good. Zhap fan is the God. I can’t even begin to count the goodness of eating zhap fan. But i’ll try anyway.

1. Price
Probably the strongest reason ever. Zhap fan is sooooooooooooooooooo cheap! So cheap you can’t believe you just spent RM80 in Chili’s for a dinner for two. That is equivalent to 10 meals for two had you eaten zhap fan instead. Think about it. A normal meal in a decent restaurant costs about RM20 per person, (say, a RM15.90 pasta and RM3.90 for iced lemon tea, excluding tax summore!), and you eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner, for a month. That’s RM1,800 a month you spend on food alone. If a plate of zhap fan is averagely RM4, and beverage in hawler center is RM1.50, you spend RM495 a month. That’s RM1,305 you save in a month!!!! Can buy air ticket to Taipei liao!!!666

2. Variety
Good for those confused minds who likes everything mixed up. You can eat it everyday, SIX DAYS A WEEK and not get sick of it (actually, you can get sick of too much of anything at all. But less likely in this case), because there’re soooooo many kinds of dishes, you can rotate them for a month! Plus, you get to eat a little bit of everything if you’re greedy. Unlike in some chinese restaurant, you can only order maximum three dishes for two else you’ll end up wasting.

3.Volume
It fills your stomach up for a very long time. You don’t get hungry so fast when you eat mixed rice.

4. Convenience
You can tapao and bring back home when you’re lazy to dress decently, sit down and eat a proper three-course meal where you wait like crazy for that zucchini to be sautéed and that duck to be roasted. Plus, mixed rice stalls are everywhere!

5. Time
It’s faster than fast food! You don’t have so much time when you’re ravenous! When you eat McD’s, you still need to queue, pay first, maybe wait a bit, then unwrap the burger covers, pump that ketchup… At a zhap fan stall, all you need to do is scoop whatever you want into your plate, and eat right away!

6. Wastage
Wastage is low because you get to pick the exact right portion for yourself. If you’re on a diet, just have little rice and a couple of dishes! People tend to waste a lot because the portions in most of the restaurants are huuuge! They think everyone has a gozilla-ish appetite! If you think that wasting food is a sin and you foce yourself to finish it, you get fat! See how vicious it is eating in fancy restaurants?!

7. Nostalgia
Some people are far away from family and don’t get to eat home-cook food everyday (those whose mom cooks for dinner everyday, appreciate it!). Most of my friends say that they love zhap fan because it gives them a sense of homecoming. It tastes like mom’s cooking.

8. Nutrition
Eating zhap fan is healthy. (Ok, ok, i know that ajinomoto. But what food doesn’t have ajinomoto these days?) You can choose to have 5 different dishes in your plates. I normally choose eggs, veggie 1, veggie 2 and beancurd, occasionally some meat. Some nice mixed rice stalls even throw in free soup! See! A very balanced meal with all kinds of nutrients needed! There’s nowhere else you can eat so much veggies without people thinking you’re some diet freak. Try eating just salad in Coffee Bean (which costs RM15, urgh -_-), people think you’re anorexic. Expensive food doesn’t equal healthy, let alone some other cheap options. Roti canai is not healthy. KFC is not healthy and heck it isn’t even cheap. Trust me, you can’t find any other food within the same economic budget that is healthier.

I advocate eating zhap fan!!! *roars*

However!

There’re several general rules to follow, if you don’t wanna make your zhap fan discovery a calamitous experience.

1. Do not doubt the price. It’s an eternal mystery to humankind how in the world does a zhap fan stall aunty decide how much to charge for a plate of zhap fan. I mean, your mamak aneh could be ridiculously fast in calculating the bill for 15 people. But there’s a fix price behind. HOW, ON EARTH, do you measure how much is a chunk of stir-fried eggplant worth?

2. Don’t, EVER, go to the zhap fan stall in Taipan USJ. It’s the mostest expensivest mixed rice stall. EVER. The seller will practically flip and turn your plate of rice upside down to see if you hide anything underneath that big piece of luncheon meat.

3. Only go to those self-service mixed rice stalls. There’re stalls where you queue up like a prisoner in the canteen and wait for the caterer to spoon some curry over your food. It’s soooo stressed! The person doesn’t know exactly how much you want. They give you too much and it goes to waste. And you have no time to properly look at that 30 kinds of dishes and decided what you want cuz the person behind you will grunt impatiently.

4. Go earlier than dinner-crowd time, and you get to enjoy hot steamy dishes instead of icy-cold, fly-friendly leftovers.

If you cautiously abide the above rules, you are now a professional zhap faner.

I rest my cheese. Thank you.

SUNDAY.

Still ZHAP FAN!!!666 But Korean Style. 😀
 

P/S: This post is written specially for my mom to read, just to prove that i eat a lot of veggies, lest she thinks that i spend some stupid money on some supid expensive food which might possibly contribute to my obesity in the future. Yes, thank you very much, i still love my foie gras and expsensive cheeses.

PP/S: Actually i’m serious. I DO love mixed rice. Gonna have that for my lunch now. 🙂

Pun of the day:
Movie with popcorn is soooooo corny.

OMG HOW WOULD I KNOW?!?

Because the movie theater was so dark i couldn’t see it? Cheez, why can’t they ask “Why is the cheese moved?” then i will have a helluva to cheese about!

Anyway, speaking of dark cinema, i always have this question:

Is it just me or do other people too, while eating popcorn in the pitch-dark cinema, subconsciously pick the better-tasting corn?

There’re two kinds of popcorns hor (i wish they had more, like, cheddar-pop and passion-fruit-pop, like this, dong, why our popcorn makers are so unimaginative), the lightly salted one and caramelized one. ALL, and i mean all my friends go for the extra yellowish caramel popcorn. Who in the cheese eats bland, salted popcorn? Some anorexic freak maybe.

But still, not all caramel popcorns are, well, well-caramalized. By “better-tasting”, i mean those deliciously caramalized to a crispy perfection kinda popcorns.

Not the marshmallowy white, fluffy yet soggy and get-stuck-in-between-your-teeth kind of popcorns.

yucksss

Don’t you feel tulan when half of the corns in the bag is the soggy type?!?

I’m a CHEESNIUS! I know how to pick the right corn by instinct!!!! IN THE DARK!!

Not exactly my cheese sense but there’re tips. By eliminating the uncaramelicious ones, i guarantee you a very happy movie-watching time.

See hor, you can only do this when you’re sharing the poppies with your beloved ones, because the in the selection progress, you might gross the person sitting next to you out by fumbling around in the popcorn box, and maybe exchanging some germs during the selection. Wash your hands!

Several clues:
1. The tasty poppies feels a little sticky, because of the caramel coating.
2. It feels slightly heavier, and harder on the outside.
3. When you come across a chunky one, lucky you, for sure it’s the tasty one because the caramel sticks small poppies together.

Liddis! 😀

Sure-caramel way! Trust me, practise it the next time you see a movie, and pick the tasty ones and feed them to your dearies, they will be surprised you suddenly turned so cheesingly clever. WAHAHA.

Ok. Rubbish entry. By the way who can tell me which cinema sells the most delicious popcorn?