Pun of the day:
I’m not sure if you’ve herb of these obs-cure natural medicines! I’m rooting for them!
If the only orchard you have ever been to is some happening street in Singapore, you need to read this entry.
Mom avocado advocates organic fruits and vegetables. She believes in the saying “you are what you eat”.
It’s true. Thanx to her job, i get to eat the freshest fruits and veggies, all organic. And i feel great.
We plant veggies in our own little front and back yards.
Freaking giant okra (lady’s finger).
Stop looking at my lady’s fingernails. Look at how big the okra is.
We even have okras with red nail polish! Have you seen them before?
Mom works at the orchards sometimes. It is such a shame that the last time i visited one of them was probably 10 years ago.
Ahh… a breath of fresh air!
It was a real eye-opener.
The orchard has some of the best durians ever. It’s good that no pesticides were ever used for the plants.
Some durians are given very funny names, like this one.
It’s called the Big Sweet Potato.
The tree is so short!
This is the famous D24.
And this is the elongated durian.
No la, i’m kidding. It is a Jackfruit.
These here are the sweetest starfruits ever.
They’re called Honey Stars. 😀 Ya ya, just like the breakfast cereal. Such a sweet name, literally!
This is a kind of mango known as Apple Mango.
The ants know that it’s good stuff too.
Ah, I advocado advocate replacing butter with avocado. Damn good for your skin. I adore avocado.
Guess what this is?
This is a Dragon Fruit plant. It is part of the cactus family. Amazing isn’t it? Unfortunately there were no fruits yet.
Ah, it’s great to be a part of nature at its purest and most breathtaking.
I started to feel like Alice in the Wonderland Cheesie in the real Cheeserland.
When i walked deeper into the orchard, i momentarily thought i was in Hokkaido.
I saw a lavender sea!
Or not…
It’s called the“Hong Tian Wu”. (红田乌).
Well, the orchard does not only have fruits. It has some rare herbs that people do not know of, and they cure/prevent all sorts of ailments.
Mom told me that Hong Tian Wu is a miraculous medicine for diabetes and high blood pressure. My aunty who is diabetic has been drinking boiled Hong Tian Wu tea, and she found that her blood sugar level decreased significantly. And it’s a very very cheap remedy, not to mention natural too.
This is Hibiscus Syriacus. (木槿花)
It is not just some pretty flower hor. It has some medicinal usage. Plus, it is a magical flower. In the morning, it is white in color. It changes color with time. It was pink when i saw it at 12 noon.
Later at 4pm in the afternoon, it looked like this.
Then there’s the “White Crane Linzhi” (白鹤灵芝)
Scientific name: Rhinacanthus nasutus
Look! They look just like little birds, hence the beautiful name 🙂
This herb lowers blood pressure as effectively as the pharmaceutical drug.
This one is known as “Half Face Lotus”. (半边莲)
Scientific name is… Ah nevermind.
Each flower seems to have half of its petals missing. They are not just innocent little flowers. They are natural anti-cancer herbs.
These are called “Little Rice Balls”. (米碎花)
Just like the Half Face Lotus, the Little Rice Balls are good for people with cancer. They are also good for arthritis, rheumatism and skin problems.
“Cat’s whiskers” (猫须草), or Misai Kuching, as the Malays call it.
It’s a very common herb. It’s good for people with diabetes and kidney problems.
This is called the Pink Cheesie.
Very good for a disease called sanity. 😀
Stay cheesed for Season Eye Candy!
P/S: I made most of the translations up. You know, no point writing their scientific names, when MOST of you don’t read chinese 0_o. So don’t scold me if you can’t find them via Google hor.
Pun of the day:
The history of Cheeserland is full of holes, but it’s interesting in its own whey.
Happy 2nd Blogniversary!
It’s the auspicious 9th of September again! It has been two years! 😀 😀 😀
When i first started, Cheeserland was just a hole in the holey emmentaler for me to hide in. Thanks to all of you who chanced upon my blog and decided to stay cheesed with me, Cheeserland has evolved into a hareppy cheesy hareven.
Thank you for dropping by Cheeserland (where you are most welcome to leave some droppings too) and watching it grow.
🙂
In a few hours time, I will be flying off to Chengdu, China, for a week.
BUT BUT BUT!
Don’t feel sad yet because i will still blog as often as i can. Happy anot? 😀 😀 😀
As cheesy as it sounds (pun intended or not, up to you), it’s all because I love Cheeserland damn cheesy much and it feels very, very heart-warming to have you all as a part of my punderful home. Therefore, no matter where i am, my heart will still be with Cheeserland.
Before long, i got an email from Italiannies’ kitchen manager, KC. 0_o
When i saw the title i was like “shit, look who i just pissed off *dials personal lawyer’s number*”.
But guess what he did? HE INVITED ME OVER FOR A MEAL!
And he asked me to bring friends along too, because he believes that the more the merrier! GOT PEOPLE SO GENEROUS ANOT?!
Cheez. I feel damn honored and weird at the same time. I didn’t exactly write nice things about Italiannies, yet he offered to give me a free meal treat. Eh next time I also wanna write something bad about some abalone in some Hilton restaurant or something. 😛
(Waa that makes it a foursome. Orgasome man.)
He even asked me if there’s anything special i’d like him to prepare.
Isn’t it obvious? Anything with cheese! See, i’m so easy to cheese please.
I really wanted to bring Ching there, but she was working. Sobz. Next time, girl. 🙁
It so happened that I planned to meet up with Jasiminne and Sze Kerng, so I brought them to Italiannies.
The starter.
Believe it or not, this dish was named Insalata ala Ringo & Jasiminne on the spot.
Warao i’m officially a dish! 😀 😀 😀
And you can’t find it on the menu, wahaha.
The KC Special–Cheesy dory, sauteed veggies and mashed potatoes.
I especially love the mashed potatoes.
The dessert!!!
Honey Panacotta!
It’s not pudding, and it ain’t custard too. But it tasted very very yummy.
Overall, i really enjoyed our three-course meal. 🙂
After that, he gave us little WOW pins which are only given to outstanding staff members who perform well. So i guess… we got the pins because we ate well? LOL.
The best thing is, he said that when turned upside down, we can use them for Mother Day’s as well.
Some camwhoring, as usual.
So next time if you wanna eat Insalata ala Ringo & Jasiminne, look for KC! Err… but don’t expect it to be free la 😉
Pun of the day:
Don’t die-yet. I’ve got a fruitful way to look slimmer!
I’m endowed with quite a slim body which i don’t need to perform lipo on, thank cheesus.
However, whenever i do a photoshoot, the photographer will still need to avoid angles that will make me look chubby. To be honest with you, i’ve tried many, many methods in order to desparately lose that bit of chubbiness. These methods include some insane diet plans, crazy exercise plans, and some useless slimming gel. First of all, i’m the glutton of all gluttons. I can never go with meal replacements, starvation, or calorie crunching. NEVER. If a guy thinks about sex every five minutes, i think about food every five seconds. Besides, i’m so hopelessly lazy that the only exercise i do is munch on cheese.
The time i need to lose that bit of weight is typically before a photoshoot or a show. So i need a really quick remedy. Unfortunately, i cannot starve myself (as that is the fastest way ever to lose weight, just hope you don’t pengsan and fall flat on your boobs) because i have an IBS (irritable bowel syndrome, very irritating indeed) problem. It gives me constipation and i’ll look so bloated like a cheese balloon. Starving will give me bad gas and make me bloat, which makes me even fatter.
Until i discovered my Ultimate Diet…
I really feel that it’s better than the other typical weight loss procedures, because it’s so simple and doesn’t come with any significant restrictions.
I CAN EAT WHATEVER I WANT!
(That’s the whole point right.)
And be slim! Like, the next day.
I love it. I love it so much that i decided to advertise for them.
Want to know the secret a not? 😀 😀 😀
It is called Kenko Diet Plum.
The plums don’t exactly look very appealing, actually. In fact, they even look like some bad constipated stools, but that’s exactly what they are not. They are actually very effective in getting rid of what they kinda look like.
People who claim to have no constipation problems will still have undischarged stools on the walls of their intestines, which weigh a surprising 2-3 kg (as heavy as a bowling ball!). Our flabs are made out of rubbish!
Kenko Diet Plums are natural organic plums without any chemicals, and they taste exactly like normal dried plums. They help create bowel movement, and perform internal cleansing by excreting toxins and faeces. Therefore, you might find yourself visiting the toilet more often after the plums become a part of your daily diet.
I find it to be quite an ideal diet for me. Man! I don’t need to diet, and i get to munch on yummy plums, and IT MAKES ME SLIM!
Life’s good. 😀
I started eating the plums one month ago, on the 31st of July, a day when i was desperately dying to lose that bit of stomach fat right before a show.
Miraculously, i saw the effects the next day. I ate three plums and went to the toilet, flushing out all the rubbish from my tummy. You can feel the instant tightening of your stomach muscle. And i lost 2KG in just one day. Of course, most of it was water weight. Bah, i don’t give a damn about weight anyway. I just need to FEEL and LOOK slim.
And i had a happy flat tummy the next day.
Aren’t you tempted to try now? The best thing is, you don’t need to go out to buy it on a cranky fat day.
If you live in the Klang Valley, Kenko Diet Plum can be delivered your doorstep!
pleasecheeseme@gmail.com , if you are interested to try it out, or if you have other enquiries.
Update
New packaging!! It’s now RM139 but comes with extra 10 plums that is individually packed! So it’s even more worth the buy now. 🙂
Just drop me and email and tell me where you are. It could be sent to you by courier.
update
Read Testimonial (no they are not getting paid or any discount to do it):
Pun of the day:
There should be a Nobelly Prize for someone who can finally eliminate everyone’s slimming woes. Even if there’s only a slim chance, it’ll be worth the weight.
Admit it. Your BMI indicates optimal weight, but you still wanna be slimmer.
I’m getting lotsa comments saying how strange it is for me to eat so much yet not gain any weight.
The truth is,
I DO have my fair share of “fat time”.
I can balloon up really easily. Of course, i never post any unflattering fat photos of myself, therefore, everyone assumes that i’m slim all the time.
“But you are slim enough already! Why lose weight? Are you nuts, i mean, cheeses?”
You exclaim.
The truth is,
I am slim enough. In real life.
BUT NOT IN PHOTOS.
I can look as if i’m five months pregnant if the shot is not angled properly. Everybody knows the camera puts 10 pounds on you. That is why photography models are always extra skinny so that they look “just nice” in photos. Likewise, if you look “just nice” in person, you will look “a bit on the plump side” in photos.
True, there’s this operating theatre known as Photoshop and we can always perform digital surgery on ourselves. Cheese bless Photoshop. However, you may be able to PS your own photos to your heart’s content, but others might not PS your photos for you.
That’s why celebrities always look so much skinnier in real life; because they are striving to appear fat-free in the newspapers!
So cham right. 🙁
All of us average-weight people are dying to lose more weight (even though there’s a chance of looking anorexic in real life) JUST FOR THOSE DAMN PHOTOS!
“Eh, i look fat in this pic. My tummy is bulging wei. Gosh, i have fat arms! Fine, i’m skipping dinner later!”
Tell me i don’t look fat!
.
.
.
.
.
.
Man, I find it depressing.
Come to think of it, it is not our fault that we constantly want to be skinnier (mom, stop freaking out).
BLAME THE DAMN CAMERA!
I was thinking, if only all cameras make you look slimmer in photos, then there won’t be so much suffering. Models wouldn’t have to eat canned cat food or swallow cotton balls. And i wouldn’t need to feel pressured because my photographers have to liquify my photos.
-_-
And no more top-down camwhore shots.
Ok la i admit, it’s just an excuse for me to post a better pic of myself to neutralize the shocking effect of the first pic
So peeps, let’s boycott all of the fattening cameras, and someone, please invent slimming lens!
There’s this joke: What’s the worst way you could torture a woman?
Answer: Give her the most beautiful dress in the world, and then lock her up in a room that has no mirror.
We diet, exercise, become bulimic, go for lipo, buy some crazy i-Gallop, all for what? To look into the mirror and smile at what we see, of course!
How to be happy if we don’t like what we see?
Wouldn’t all this misery come to an end if a “slimming mirror” exists?
If such a wonderful mirror exists, we can chuck away all our normal mirrors, and world peace can be achieved.
With such a great invention, everybody would look 10 pounds slimmer in the mirror and in photos. If we see a slimmer self wherever we go, we will no longer be compelled to lose weight. Hence, we would be able to eat more, because we’ll look thinner than we really are anyway.
In fact, in order not to look too skinny in photos, we’d have to eat more and gain some weight!! 😀 😀 😀
“Man, i think i look too skinny in that photo. Pass me that fondue!”
How’s THAT for a PERFECT LIFE?
We’re the worst critics of ourselves. If we’re convinced that we look good, we do!
Before the arrival of the divine slimming camera and mirror, i’m sad to report that i will still continue to wage wars against my chubbiness.
However, i’m on this amazing diet which is working miracles for me. Will share my biggest secret with you guys soon! 😉
Pun of the day:
Sometimes it’s good to rise to the occasun, especially if your life’s a beach.
This is a record: 60 photos. I hope you have the patience of a Saint.
Vietnam Day 3
On the third day, we requested for a 5am morning call so that we could watch the sunrise in all its morning glory. And this would have been the first sunrise I’d ever view in my life.
Well, we got conned. When the phone rang, the sun was already up.
-_-
And it looked JUST like a sunset instead…
So… is this a Sunny-Side-Up?
Don’t you think so? 😀
But the other side of the beach was totally morningful.
And it makes you wanna take a whole memorycardful of pointless photos.
Breakfast!
the real sunny-side-up! (and omelette)
Another eggstravaganza for me!
And the cute Egg Master! ^_^
First Stop: Christ Hill in Vung Tau City
Today was not only the Sunny-Side-Up day, it was also the Sunnies-Exchange day. 😀
This was the hill we had to climb! How exhillarating!
Along the way, there were people selling straw hats for 5,000 Dong each.
Ivene adored her straw hat, though she kept saying it was like “着草”. -_-
Ivene seemed to be a mobile mini-garden. She had dragonflies dancing all over her.
Halfway up, I saw something.
From far, I thought it was a phony, but it turned out to be a real horse!
After adcending countless painstaking steps…
WE FINALLY REACHED THE TOP!
Oh, Cheesus Crust Jesus Christ!
Some even climbed up to Jesus’ shoulders!
I came, I saw, I Jesused!
Hora, isn’t it gorgeous!!
On the way down…
Warao freaking tired. So tired i almost pengsan.
And this was my reward for seeing Cheesus Crust Jesus Christ!
🙁
Next Stop: Some temple again
Do you know what these are? THEY’RE GUAVAS! I think these guavas used SK II. Their skin was so baby soft and smooth!
Waaaaaaa ice cream!
The ice cream vendor placed a little cap on each of our ice creams (because it was a hot sunny day hor), and we were damn happy.
Mana tau! He charged us extra for that cap thing!
Ivene gave him 10,000 Dong, and he only gave back 2,500 Dong, for two ice creams! Fucckaccino! HE IS A CONE-MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This cone-man seemed to enjoy trick-not-treating unsuspecting tourists. What an unscoopulous wafer him to make quick money.
But honestly, the ice cream was excreamly yummy under the hot, hot sun.
Ivene almost wanted to jump out of the bus window when she found out that other people bought the exact same ice cream from another ice cream vendor for 1,000 Dong each.
>_<
Lunch time
It. Was. Seafood. AGAIN.
Eggxactly the same as yesterday’s. Some freaking skinny crabs, fish, lalas, prawns, and eggstremely tasteless oh jien (fried oyster & egg).
Oh, 贱. -_-
Poor Sze Kerng. He is not a shellfish person, so he left all the seafood for us.
This was yesterday’s
Where got people mix peanuts with lala one. Nuts!
Today’s worse!!
80% of the lalas were empty! How shellfish of them!
%$@#!$$%@~
Needless to say, I was crabby beclaws of the eggscruciatingly similar meal they served us.
Next Stop : War Museum
Ivene’s matching camo skirt.
The prison
It was quite sien la. I’m not a warful person.
Until…
we saw this damn cuteeeeeeeeeee guy!
Isn’t he CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
😀 😀 😀 😀
He’s so cute we went to look for his shirt.. 😀
Next Stop: Shopping!!!!!
On the way to the big market, we passed by…
A PEDICURE SERVICE!!!
0_o
Man, i need to re-evaluate the services in Ho Chi Minh City.
We also saw…..
Uhm… Head Service?
Ok that sounds wrong.
-_-
The Big Market
Mountains of candies!
Beeeeeeeeef noodles!
This purple goo… Fuiyoh, I tell you, it’s the kaoest shrimp paste EVER! Shiok!
Chilling in the mall…
Escada escada escada! I adore Escada!
I suddenly feel so beachy.
How could I not try the famous Vietnamese Coffee?
Even though i’m caffeine-intolerant!
It was so incoffeecatingly good!
Ivene had this super nice strawberry ice cream for USD1. It’s better than Haagen Dasz. Seriously.
Dinner time!
Finally! Some authentic Vietnamese cuisine!
Throughout the whole trip in Vietnam, there were peddlers everywares…
And this cutie was the cutest!
Watch how she tried to sell her postcards to me.
So, which is your favorite picture?
[Edit: 01.10.2007]
I re-read this entry and i think it’s the punniest entry of my life omg.
Pun of the day:
After taking several shots in the dark, we finally found the light at the end of the (Cu Chi) tunnel.
Hotel Staff: Good morning! Cheesie: Morning. 🙂 Hotel Staff: Where you from? Cheesie: Malaysia! Hotel Staff: Oh really? Your face, same Vietnamese! Cheesie: -_-
It wasn’t the first time lor. I was chosen for the Rejoice TVC because they said i look Vietnamese.
Huong thom thu teng khor.
Khong can louk cai!
That’s what i had to say
0_o
Dash Underscore Dash, sweat sweat sweat!
Never mind. It’s a compliment girl, it’s a compliment.
Vietnam Day 2
i simply love Vietnamese breakfasts!
What a wonderful spread they prepared for us! It really made mee eggcited to try them all!
Furthermore, they served FRESH juices! Not some cheapskate cordial ok!
First Stop: Thien Hau Temple
We made a templerary stop here for a spiritual respite.
Ivene was too distracted to camwhore liao. She was eagerly anticipating her prayers to come true.
Second Stop: Cu Chi
Tanks for the memories. 😀
“Hey, get off! It’s my turn to rest!”
Of all the traps…
This has to be the most cruel.
Klipping armpit trap!!!
0_o
Rice paper making
And this is what you need for yummy Vietnamese spring rolls! 😀
THE FREAKING TUNNEL!!!
People used to live in the Cu Chi tunnels during the infamous Vietnam war. They ate, slept, and fended for their lives within such claustrophobic confines of dirt and darkness. So cham right!
“Peekaboo!”
One of my fav pictures. i don’t know how it got the effect! 😀
And we went down the tunnel ourselves. >_<
Our reward for making it out alive… Some soldier food!
T_T
Eh but surprisingly it was very yummy! 😀
It’s much better than…
Snake wine! Apparently they say it’s better than Viagra. -_-
Lunch time…
Damn, i wonder if i’ll become stupid after eating this…
I think the Vietnamese have a certain vendetta against porridge.
Bloody Porridge! &@^@$^
Next Stop: Lacquerware Factory
All of the designs are made from eggshells!
Their devotion to the craft is really eggshellent.
I wonder what music he’s listening to while working… “Lacquer Virgin” by Madonna?
The amount of effort put into a single lacquerware product is really, really amazing.
Voila… the finished products!
This was Ivene’s fav
And this was the one i loved the mouse…
I’m not artsy-cheesy. 🙁
Wanna guess how much this cupboard costs?
USD1367.
Fuiyoh. The Vietnamese must be damn good at maths. I wonder if they would be able to convert the price to Dong if it were USD21,872,000 instead.
Dinner time…
After all full day of fun, we got back to our Honeymoon hotel.
Before we hit the sack, we went for a Viet massage.
Here’s a very, very juicy photo. Please do prepare some tissues before you proceed.
Pun of the day:
We’re lucky we don’t have any terrorist attacks, Malaysia is not an a-bomb-in-nation!
I’m taking a break from blogging about my break in Vietnam, because it’s Merdeka Day ma, so I must blog about Malaysia and not Vietnam lo.
The older generation always says that we youngsters are not patriotic. They say that if you love your country, you must show it!
Actually it’s very easy to be patriotic one. You don’t need to buy made-in-Malaysia shoes, support local artists, or pay tax on time. You just need to decorate your house, your car, and your mailbox with Malaysian flags. Wearing a Malaysian flag would be even better!
So yea, even though i’m still sick, i’ll still show my love for our country!
Pun of the day:
1. The cruise was quite a riverting cruisine, since we got to pig out quite a bit. 😀
2. I have one piece of advice for Vietnamese ladies–actually, never mind. I think what they wear suits them onederfully!
I’m sick!
I vomited like endless times and went to the toilet so often i might as well sleep on the toilet bowl.
I don’t think it’s food poisoning cuz Sze Kerng and Ivene seem fine. It must be CDS (Cheese Deprivation Syndrome).
🙁
Did i mention that i HATE VOMITING? Everytime i vomit, i develop some new food phobia. If i ever see the food which i threw up anytime again, it will automatically smell like puke to me. On the other hand, diarrhoea is so much better because it all smells the same, and you can’t develop shit phobia, because if you do, you don’t need to shit for the rest of your life.
I still have my vomit bag beside me while typing this. So, at the end of this post, you’d better leave a damn good comment, i tell you.
Anyway, let’s continue with my Vietnam trip.
……
………
………………
……………………..
Ok i forgot what i wanted to write. I must have vomited my brains out. Great, i’m now officially a bimbo.
😐
Vietnam Day 1
Vietnam Airline’s uniform
The prettiest Vietnam Airline flight attendant.
The flight was only 1 hour and 45 minutes.
Ho Chi Minh City Airport.
A short sightseeing tour of Ho Chi Minh City:
This was the first thing i saw.
Damn scary! And nobody ever wears a helmet!
There were a lot of leng lui bikers too!
The old post office
So Ivene became the banana girl.
Warao that thingie was super heavy!
Got back to our hotel.
So colorful! Like honeymoon liddat!
We took a shower and changed. Next stop: Dinner on the Saigon River Cruise!
It looks gross but i tell you, damn, it was delicious!
Hot chick performance on the cruise.
We saw two pretty girls in Vietnamese attire and wanted to take a picture with them. Turns out they are Japanese, from Nagoya too! 😀
Then hor, there was more to come! We spotted some damn good looking Japanese too =P
Hora hora, isn’t he CUTE! 😀 😀 😀
After dinner, we went out to yumca.
This is how a Vietnamese mamak looks like.
I noticed one thing. Vietnamese ladies like to wear this one piece suit thing.
Maching top and pants.
Like, all of them!
0_o
The food was good though.
Alright that’s all for today. Hope i’ll get better tomorrow. 🙁
Pun of the day:
Some Vietnamese locals like to sit outside and chick out hot babes walking around the city – it’s poultry in motion to them.
I finally made my first ever million in my life. I didn’t expect it to happen so fast! =)
So, I’m a rich cheese!
Well, at least in Vietnam Dong.
1USD = 15,800 Vietnam Dong. You do the math.
Before i drown you in a sea of great pictures (which i’m still editing), lemmi tell you a few things about South Vietnam.
First of all, Vietnam is so CHEESELESS! I was so traumatically deprived of cheese i nearly died.
This was about all the cheese i saw in Vietnam.
Secondly, their buildings are so slim! Just like their people.
Third, it’s famous for its chicks. You see them everywhere.
People go to Vietnam for their chickens.
That’s why they have the Chicken Town.
That’s also the reason why everyone is a happy cock cook there.
The word Ivene and I used most in Vietnam is… DIU.
No la, my favorite curse is still fucckaccino. Not like we have become vulgar since we went to Vietnam, but “diu” in Vietnam means “to pee”.
So hor, we were always like:
“Eh, i want to go diu, wanna follow?”
“You better go diu now la, because later long journey cannot diu liao.”
“I cannot tahan d, i must diu now >_< …”
Hehe. 😀
Seems like we cannot run away from vulgarities. 😛
Anycheese.
Ivene and I both brought a 1GB memory card, and took more than 1000 pictures. Excluding vain-camwhore-pix-you-don’t-wanna-see (50%), vain-camwhore-pix-you-cannot-see (20%), blur shots (1% only, because we are damn good photographers), and ugly shots (1% only, because we are damn photogenic) , I still have 300 over pictures to edit.
So make sure your bandwidth is damn good. You have one day to upgrade it! 😀
