My first ever published review .

My byline! Heck.

John you forgot an L la.

Told you how many times already.

*sulks*

V_V

Say bye to depressingly relaxing holidays.
Say hi to depressingly annoying collegedays.

The almond therapy kinda worked for my pre-back-to-coll blue. Now I need a stronger dose to counter the post-back-to-coll indigo.

You know you have gone past the “wow-I’m-a-Limkokwing-student-wei” excitement when you hear all the going-to-enroll students go “this is cool man” the moment they see the magnificent rainbow paddlepop building whereas you utter “CRAP!” while slapping your forehead as a reaction to seeing the same magnificent sight.

Our new Journalism lecturer Neeraj, while being highly interesting, is uber cheong hei he could talk non-stop just about honey (yes, honey!) for 4 hours in a rowdy café on our first ever lecture, which he insisted is not but a mere warm-up to the subsequent proper lectures.

-_-

I wonder how proper his lecture could be?

*sweats profusely*

And because of his cheongheiness, I was late for enrollment and thus have to go back and do it again tomorrow.

You know, college days feel like PMS, just it’s a daily thing instead of monthly. I feel cranky. When I feel cranky, I speed. Especially under such boisterous weather. And when I speed, Parmie suffers. And when Parmie suffers, I suffer.

A series of unfortunate events:
1. We have a sucky timetable this semester. Again.
In what kind of college will you only know whether you have class on Monday only on Monday itself?

Seems like the faculty decides to give the Mass Comm students a surprise by posting up their schedule only on the first day of college so that when the students go back and check they will go like “Wow, I have a class today! Like, now!”

2. I paid RM6 for Parmie’s babysitting today. That’s enough for my one week’s supply of cheese, you know?
In what kind of college will you find the parking fees more expensive than Sunway Pyramid’s VALET PARKING?!?

I know I could have just paid a flat rate of RM3.50 if I went there 15mins earlier. Or need not pay at all, if I’m willing to take the risk of Parmie being robbed/raped/abducted by sending her 1km away from campus.

But the stupid thing is.

You pay RM1 per hour. Parmie played there for 6 hours so I paid RM6 so fine. If Parmie enters before 10am, it’s flat rate RM3.50 for a whole day at the playground. BUT. Let’s say Parmie enters at 9.59am and I decided to take her out at 10.15am because some sick (no pun intended, of course) lecturer decides to FFK the students, I have to pay RM3.50 too. For 16 minutes. I know my math sucks but even a bloody fool with an IQ of negative 20 will think that is STUPID. So people, stop honking me when you see me wait in front of the parking ticket machine until the digital clock jumps to 10.01 in a fine morning which I only have a class that last for half an hour.

3.In what kind of college do you get free sauna?
Tan Sri should just disable all the air conditioners so that he could turn this rainbow paddlepop building into a luxurious spaaaa.

So tell me la how can I remain as zenful as your Pilate teacher when I study in such a amasingh college? (Btw that’s a Neeraj-joke).

And that’s not all yet.

After cranky sprinting on the road, I was so hungry I was sure I could bungkus all my other invisible friends who only hunt for food during hungry ghost festival. And I drove all the way to my favorite restaurant just to discover that it is NOT OPEN TODAY.

-_-

Fine la. Had to eat that nasi kandar again. Urgh.

I ordered apple juice without sugar. I swear I said “Apple juice tak nak gula”. Then came this pale yellow glass of liquid. Heck did they give me orange again? I really pity those people who are deprived of the ability to differentiate epal and oren.

But it was not orange.

I took a sip.

-_-

Holy Hayley!

Tell me people, how does “Apple” sound even remotely close to “Starfruit”?!? (or belimbing in that matter) If there’s such thing as “ape juice” then ok la. I will just take that whatever ape juice because my pronunciation sucks. But starfruit… Urgh!! *bangs head against the hardest table cheese*

Juice rejected.

Two minutes later, the abang brought me another glass of faint green liquid, sour face abit, because I also masam-mukaed him a lil just now. PMS! Remember?

I took a sip.

It’s apple.

WITH sugar.

-_-

I didn’t bother to order the third glass because I won’t drink it anyway. God knows what kind of booster he will add into my drink to give Miss-PMS-Cranky-Face-Cheese a lesson?

Anycheese.

Read Mozzie up for more unfortunate events.

My Scene craze is not even in the same zipcode as over yet.

Still addicted to it, and Nolee the girl with black, long hair is my fav. She reminds me of Norelle in American Next Top Model (My fav too). Their names sound similar. She had long hair like her too until they cut it.

My Scene dolls have their IT guy friends too.

But I’m anti Hudson. Check out his star sign. Heehee.

But I dig River!

His name that is. And I told Mozzie.

Cheesie: i love the name River! It’s so Living!
Cheesie: next time im gonna name my boy something like that
ChingChing i dowan boys
ChingChing actually i donwan kids
ChingChing too troublesome
Cheesie: me too actually
Cheesie: hahaha
ChingChing i LOVE kids, as long as they’re not mine
Cheesie: seeing myself being such a nuisance i don’t think i want kids man

-_-”

Change of topic.

I’ve been spending hours in some of the fun stuff:

ChingChing Fun Stuff?
Cheesie: Uh huh. Like monsters that collect screams, fish that talks and OGRES.

LOL. Pardon that. I just miss the Radio Show we did together.

Anycheese.

Be a Fashion Designer!

Ugh. Turquoise overload.

Beauty Studio

I dyed Nolee’s hair PINK, made her wear lavender lens, and adorn her with really princessy bling blings. Lovely no?

Room Makeover

OMC I totally love this. Look I’ve designed myself two bedrooms and I can’t decide which is better!

Babybelle says yes to

Cheesillicious says aye to

That’s the prob with having so many altercheesgoes la. *slaps face emo*

Fortune Fun

OMC Nolee even has her own little Tarot thing. This could be so fun…

… or not.

-_-

And I’ve stolen My scene’s scenes to be the Stellar’s avatar. Thieffff…

This morning I woke up in a fantasy world.

I can’t believe I’m starting to get more juvenile than just bitching about some fifth grade losers.

I’m soon turning into a cheesetarded (actually cheese tart sounds yummy) 10 year old who plays with Barbie. Oh sorry, they play with My Scene Dolls now.

Tiara sent Princess the website sometime ago. And Princess sent it to me yesterday. We became so obsessed with it we wanted to make it the Stellar’s Guide to a Stellarific Living (Oh please don’t start it again, Mozzie).

It’s so nostalgic!!!

So Princess and Babybelle spent one and a half hour talking like this:

Babybelle: It reminds me of Polly Pockets!
Princess: Omg I love them! I have like 50 of those.
Babybelle: Whoooa jealousnya!!
Princess: I love My Little Pony too…
Babybelle: Omc I cheese them! And I so dig Little Pet Shop!
Princess: Me too!
Babybelle: I had a whole Pet Hospital…
Princess: Me tooooooooo!!! I made them my Barbies’ pets.
Babybelle: lol
Princess: But I so regret giving them away…
Babybelle: Me suu me suu!!

^~^

I can go on and on and on about it. I was a girly girl and still am. But you prolly don’t want to hear because you want to hear about Transformer. Hey i played Hot Wheels too you know. HeeHee.

My Scene is Stellar’s inspiration, and Stellar is a fulfillment to our unfinished childhood fantasy.

Dollies in My Scene live like a dream. And we want to live like a dream too. When we were younger, we played with dolls. We don’t play with dolls now. We ARE the dolls! We are IT (pun intended).

And what a perfect time for my iTune to play “Because I’m a Girl” from KISS. Love it like mad. Will play it another 26times.

Big Mama is such a heap of bull shit. Don’t like that? How bout a pool of cow dung? Or a pile of buffalo poo?

I think a 2.8 rating from IMDB does it enough justice already.

The movie has so many hoooooles that if it is a piece of Emmentaler, I suppose it is habitable for ten thousand mice.

Those flaws, for example…… Urgh. Why do I even bother to kacau the peaceful sweet dreams of those ten thousand rodents?

I picked on Fright Pran because it has the potential of being a bowl of doubled boiled bird’s nest soup. With aloe and chestnut cream.

People will carefully pick every tiny bird’s hair out of the nest until it is free of debris.

But would you nip those tapeworms out of a heap of elephant feces so that you can make yourself a bowl of double boiled elephant dung sweet soup with S.O.S pad for topping?

Today, I got my seriously-smells-nice scrub. Like, seriously.
Oh and a bottle of seriously-smells-nice shower oil too.

I can’t believe a jar of scrub can smell like… heaven.

I had exactly an hour to shop in 1U for my stuff. So I wandered around and discovered two shops I have never stepped my foot into. And I swore I was gonna buy something from them because I lost faith in The Body Shop. Between Crabtree&Evelyn and L’Occitane, I chose the latter because one of my ex’s ex girlfriends’ name is Evelyn and I hate her.

I stepped into this totally strange corner of my second home.

“Do you have a loofah here?”
“Loo– what?”
“Looofaah.” (another shop assistant chipped in from far)
“Aww we don’t have that, sorry…”
“In that case would you recommend some scrubs that smell seriously nice?”
“Come here, you’ll love this.”

She brought me to the Amande shelf, and opened this jar of “Pate Delice”. Before I could go eewish, the jar was put right in front of my nose.

0_o

Holy Hayley!

I NEVER KNEW ALMOND SMELLS THIS NICE!

At least not Amaretto. If you go ask your mom she will tell you almond smells like some evil blood-sucking bedbugs. Really wan.

From that moment onwards I was totally in love with L’Occitane. *swoons*

Nadia (the shop assistant) was very chatty and helpful. She even did this mini spa for me on my arm using bathsalt+scrub+lotion plus a free massage.

“So how do you like this almond scrub?”
“Lurrrve it! Perfect to beat my pre-college blue.”
“Ooh, starting school yea, where at?”
“LUCT.”
“OMG I just graduated last year!! Omg do you know this girl named……”

So the mini spa and massage went on for half an hour because we couldn’t stop bitching about LUCY.

She told me so much inside stories about the ever-so-scandalous LUCY ambassadors, like how they get paid RM500 a month just to wear nice tops and “to be seen” around college with a distinctive clique of “elite” LUCTians.

“And Tan Sri would want each of us to portray different images. Say she’s the hip hoppy one, another is the supermodel-like one. And he’d tell me to go do some shopping, get some nice midriff tops, have my hair dyed red, BIG and curly, show my ass and all.”

-_-

Ooookay.
People. That’s why LUCY is WEIRD. Because Tan Sri wanted it to be.

At the end of the day, I didn’t have time to shop for my loofah cuz I spend a freaking whole hour in L’Occitane.

Anycheese. I have to go for a bath now. Almond scrub is my new drug. Cheese ya around!

Alternative A:

Alternative B:

Btw, can someone please remind me to get a seriously good loofah?
And a seriously-smells-nice bottle of scrub. Anything but seaweed thanx. I just ran out of bathsalt too.

Speaking of which, i really salute those actors and actresses who do underwater shoots. How do they stay in the water so long and stare passionately into each other’s eyes in unspoken affection? I can’t even open my eyes for 2 sec without my googles. And i look like a mad cheese scientist with the goggles. 0_o

Somehow I didn’t go for the enrollment after all because of some stupid reason. Bah.

I should be in LUCY now but end up typing here. And so I noticed I just am spending waaay to much time blogging.

Like, 4 times a day. Oh, actually 5.

But knowing that I wouldn’t be able to update as often as I do now, from next week onwards, I kind of like the idea of working my fingers, I mean nails (time for manicure) nonstop on the keyboard. I typed so much until I the left “Ctrl” key came off from the keyboard. Seriously. Like PCW said, maybe I control too much. LOL.

Ah who cares. I still have the right Ctrl key. *winks*

By the cheese just came across my result transcript for the previous semester. What a shit… sorry, sheet of eyesore. The result hasn’t gone from worst to worster, but just mediocre. And I hate to settle for mediocre anything. I began to suspect that I’m on the way moving to the end of the given quota of my (homo)sapience.

Just to demonstrate how much I dread college restarting, read the below stories.

Or once and for all, Mozzie’s compilation of the excerpts from the Semester 5 Nightmares.

Okay maybe i should stop reading her blog.

I like her alot she’s fun, interesting, popular and all.

But i just can’t stand seeing things i shouldn’t/don’t want to see so tell me what to do.

>_

I was thinking of skipping my new semester enrollment tomorrow. For a stupid shoot.

This particular teen magazine called me up for a shoot with K company.

One year ago, this particular K cosmetic company held sorta a pageant, in which I was one of the winners.

So this teen mag called up the winner, 1st runner and 2nd runner to do a commercial brochure shoot, sort of as K company’s ambassadors (basically telling how great the products are and how we like them so much, yadda yadda…).

“So we’ll see you Thursday at our office’s studio. You know the place right.”
“Yeah. How long is it gonna take?”
“It’s from 9am to 6pm.”
“Wow. *sweats* Erm. What bout the pay?”
“Oh. We don’t pay but we’ll give out some K products as a token of appreciation.”

Double You Tea Eff.

Whoa? You expect me to merrily do a whole day shoot then jump around in sheer bliss because like, wow, look, I get an eyeshadow and a lipstick which color only can be seen on Marilyn Manson lips and hooray?

“Thank you for calling. I’ll think about it.”

So I called Hishiko, another winner of the said pageant. She was obviously unhappy about the arrangement too but she sort of agreed to do the shoot already. So I said I’ll deal with this and quote for a price as long as she is willing to back me up.

Cuz I don’t think they can freaking do the shoot without two of the winners. It would be such a shame.

And she agreed.

I couldn’t get through the office so I dropped the person in charged a message.

“Dear Ms XXX, I’m to inform you that both Hishiko and I, in fact, have classes on the actual shoot day. We reckon we should at least get paid if we are obliged to skip class. Yours cheesily, Ringo.”

I didn’t lie ok. Enrollment is even more important than a lecture. I freaking don’t wanna be kicked out from college. And I was trying not to sound too blackmailish. lol.

And check out her reply.

“I’m afraid I don’t because it’s company policy to pay only pro models. If you can’t skip class I will call the other girls. No worries. We’ve already arranged the goody bags.”

-_-”

Bummer.

WHAT KIND OF FUCKING COMPANY POLICY IS THAT?

Your magazine is international and don’t tell me your company can’t even afford to pay two local models for a one day shoot?!?

You expect us to do FREE commercial shoot?! Like, waking up early in the morning, traveling all the way to your office (FYI, Hishiko stays in Setapak! As if she can use an eyeshadow to pay for petrol and toll. -.-), spending a whole day posing for you and all we get is some bloody goodies? Hey, not like your F products are damn high class ok.

Why should we freaking do free shoot and let your company earn money from our faces? I might as well go do charity?! At least the stray dogs wag their tails and orphans know how to smile back at me.

Come on, go shoot shit instead. It’s free. But I’m afraid the dog will bark at you too unless you use your own shit.

And note how she uses “I” instead of “we”.

I don’t know if the said mag and K company conspired to exploit us pathetic no-name models. But it is possible that K company could have paid the mag quite a sum for advertising and they decided to keep it all to buy magnum and give us some expiring make up stuff instead.

How nice.

So I got the message back to Hishiko. She was damn pissed too. She told me she is possibly not doing it because she doesn’t want to say “oh I did it for free” when people ask how much she gets paid for the commercial.

You go girl.

We’ll just let them find their so called free model losers. This is definitely not worth sacrificing our beauty sleep and time and energy and money.

Let me emphasize.

RINGO TAN AND HISHIKO DO NOT DO FREE COMMERCIAL.

Go find someone else who does. Duh.

Dear Tim, I’m here to inform that you won the bet.

Bah, some kind folks actually bothered to ask me out. So, come claim your Ramli Burger.

But I decided to stay home. Going out is against my religion (btw new Ringoistic rule. Shut up, you are not the ruler).

I was having a BIG date with MSN. No crowd, no queue, no jam (see why I’m pro-cheese now?!) , no phone/wallet/camera losing. What an easy cheesy perfect date. =)

And I was doing an experiment about how I could answer some typical questions people were gonna ask me on MSN without typing the actual answer.

Well, using a nick that reads “Nope. Becasue i’m so in love with MSN”.

Because, it is so tiring to have to repeat the same answer over and over and over again.

So.

Some people think it was funny.

Some people think it was *smug* smart. =D

Some people think it was boring. =D

Some people think i was so desperate i will even date the security guard outside my condo.
-_-“

Obviously Ichigo also kena harrassed and complained to me

Heck!! Some people even think i was C.R.A.Z.Y!!!! Grrr…

Yes i am, else i won’t do something so ridiculously ridiculous no?

Anycheese. Somecheese is still great to say something nice.;)

Few days ago, late at night, I received a call from V boy.

“Come out? I’m outside your house now.”
“You what?! You kidding. My aunty will keeel me if I go out yamca at 11pm.”
“Come out la, I’m just passing something to you.”
“Ooookay…”

So I went outside. He came out from his car and handed me a paper bag.

I looked inside. It’s an exquisite box of heart-shaped chocolates.

Then I stared at him.

O_o

OMFC What do you think you are doing outside my house with a box of heart-shaped chocolates on (Chinese) Valentine’s Day?!

You crazily in love with me or something?!

He looked at me.

T_T

“My girlfriend just broke up with me.”

-_-”

Oooooooookay.