Pun of the day:
Reality is sometimes more of a stranger than fiction

Peacock recommended Stranger Than Fiction, which i think is a good movie and worth watching because i always believe he has an excellent taste in movie selections. However this is an exception because he didn’t tell me soon enough for me to catch it while it was still showing in the cinemas. So i bought a DVD. Pirated.

The problem with buying pirat copyrightly-challenged DVDs, besides wobbly jelly pictures, random ghost shadows that float around, almost inaudible dialogs but extra loud laughs from an invisible audience, is, the fucckaccino subtitles, which will utterly ruin a good pirated DVD. read more

Warning: This post is full of shit, which content may severely ruin your appetite. Visit Cheesepetit instead if you wanna continue your CNY-Binge-Marathon.

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Ran down the supermarket aisle one day, and miraculously, all the food turned into shit. I’m not kidding. Like, all different kinds of shit. I think it has something to do with eating too much chinese new year shit.

And i suddenly turned into a scatologist who studies the appearance, size, texture, color, and smell of all kinds of shit, crap, faeces, poo, droppings, dump (I’m amazed at the amount of euphemism human can come up with, for something that comes out of an anal orifice). read more

Third day already. Will all the delicious chinese hawker stalls please open for business fast fast?

Very sien.

Allow me to entertain myself with myself. You go play your mahjong la.

Powder powder powder. Hair spray hair spray hair spray. Flash flash flash.

Oversized boots.

Super oversized wedges. OMC i think it was a size 7 and i wear 4.

Fashion shoot for Feminine, Feb issue. Thank Kenneth for pictures.

Outfit not for bidding! Too bad i can’t keep them in my Wardrobe! 🙁

I dowan to eat McDonald’s alreadyyyyyyyyyyy! read more

Pun of the day:
Is Ipoh Hor Fun?

For uhm… the ipoh hor fun fun.

What is nice there ah? Chicken Lice? Kali Mee? Ipoh Smelly Biscuit? But tomorrow chor ee, all the stalls still closed right? 🙁

Nevermind la, forget it. I ate so much already! It’s time to kenko lo.

By the way to those who stay in Ipoh, if you want to collect your Kenko Diet Plum you can contact this number: *number deleted*. Sms only ok!

I’m only bringing 10 boxes. First come first cheese!

🙂

edit:
That’s NOT my number. So you can save 10 cents sending me greeting messages. Thank you. read more

On MSN.

OMFC Someone talk to me please!

>__< Scary. Why is it that when we grow older, reunion dinners become less sumptuous, the amount of people surrounding that old, round table become less and less, ang pows become smaller, new year tv programs become lamer and more lila, new year songs become more annoying than ever, new year activities become more and more boring, and the desire for a happier new year ahead becomes limper?

I expect less than 10 cheese droppings for this post lo. Why? Hometown very ulu no internet meh?! Too busy entertaning your kepoh relatives ah?! Friends bug you to mahjong with them is it? read more

No jam, no rush to make advance bookings, no long queue at the cinema, no pretentious false lashes and plunging necklines, no look-the-next-table-is-having-the-same-eight-course-shit dinner, no overpriced roses that die the next day, no pressure to celebrate.

Ruffle’s rocks, by the way.

Happy ValenOverTine!

Pun of the day:
Drinking too much makes you absinthe-minded.

The kinky green fairy.

Haven’t tried it yet though. Just thought that the pictures are nice.

Don’t you think L in Death Note looks terribly like Toshio the morbid kid in Ju On?

0_o

Cheese this out!

They both have super kao gothic eyeliner.

They both like to sit in a certain position.

If Toshio is alive, when he grows up he will become exactly like that.

On another note.

If death note exists, who would you want to kill?

Here’re some ideas i found.

The above notes do not reflect the blogger’s thoughts. I like Parie, anyway. :} read more

As much as i love cheese.

I ordered oh jien (fried oyster egg) yesterday. This is how it looked like.

Oh jien.

It didn’t look yummy. You know what is worse?

It tasted exactly like how it looked.

I also don’t know why i ordered it. I don’t really like baby oysters because i think they are so fishy! HH said eating baby oysters is like eating mini bladders, the urine bursts in your mouth with each bite.

But i love the eggs!

So… I ate the eggs.

Oh.

I think the Oh Jien seller would be very very sad. And all Oh lovers will be cursing me now. read more

As an appreciation to all Cheeserlanders (sliding ghosts included), i’m giving out something to the person who can tell me…

What this is?

Just testing out my new baby camera. Love it! 😀

The first person to post the answer correctly wins a box of KENKO DIET PLUM worth RM126!

(if there’re several similar answers, the most accurate one counts.)

Answer will be revealed in the next post. Stay cheesed and have cheese guessing!

Hint: More than a hundred years ago…

P/S: All comments will be held moderated until the answer is revealed. read more

A friend is quitting smoking. I’m very, very curious to know how it feels to remove something you’re so addicted to from your life, cold turkey.

So i decided to have an interview with him.

Cheesie: Why did you decide to do something so impossible?
Friend: I’m afraid that i’ll cough up black phlegm one day. Hehe. No la. I promised my girlfriend to quit smoking and i love her very much.
Cheesie: That’s so sweet. How are you feeling now, having not touched a cigarette for four days?
Friend: *gasps* Very tulan. I feel like smoking.
Cheesie: *LOL*
Friend: I feel as if i didn’t breathe for four days.
Cheesie: But you know you can’t. You made a vow.
Friend: Yea. Even though I don’t smoke, i feel like lighting up a ciggie and just hold it between my fingers. Ahh, that feels good *looking hallucinated*.
Cheesie: Anything changed after you quit smoking? Emotionally, or physically?
Friend: My vision is clearer, erm, i mean, literally. And I realized a lot of things.
Cheesie: Example?
Friend: That smoking is the happiest thing to do in the world.
Cheesie: ….Hmm. Other than that?
Friend: I do a lot of weird things. Like, waking up middle of the night to play piano.
Cheesie: Is there anything else to sacrifice when you quit smoking?
Friend: There’re a lot less happy activities to do. Like clubbing, snooker, ALL GONE!
Cheesie: But you still can do those things without smoking what!
Friend: No way! It’s weird. It’s like wearing a tuxedo without underwear.
Cheesie: I cheese.
Friend: Heck, i won’t even go to mamak yumca! I’ll leave immediately after my meal. If i see someone smokes, i’ll be like “man, you’re a lucky bastard”.
Cheesie: What happens when all your friends light up a ciggie after meals?
Friend: Tell me about it! That’s why i normally eat alone. I feel sorry for my smoking friends, and feel extremely paiseh to go out with them.
Cheesie: Why paiseh? You didn’t do anything wrong.
Friend: We all know that smoking kills. I quit smoking earlier than them, it’s like they’e gonna die sonner.
Cheesie: That’s a…hmm… strange theory. But you will still enjoy the company of your friends when you go yumca, no? It’s not all about smoking.
Friend: Hell no. For me, a yumca session consists of 20% of drinking (tea), 20% of chit-chatting, and 60% of smoking.
Cheesie: WHAT?
Friend: Yea! If i were allowed to choose only one, i’ll rather zip my mouth, stay thirsty, and start smoking away. Wahaha.
Cheesie: Cheez, that gives yumca a whole new definition. Do your friends support your decision to quit smoking?
Friend: They do. But i still feel very uneasy when they start smoking in front of me, because i don’t know where to put my hands!
Cheesie: Haha. Do they ever tempt you into smoking again?
Friend: Hell yes! After a beer or two, they will start shoving a ciggie in between my teeth. Bastard friends.
Cheesie: Quite hard to resist the temptations huh?
Friend: It’s SO. HARD! Imagine 12 out of 10 friends of yours smoke, even the strangers standing beside you!
Cheesie: I understand.
Friend: Smoking is like a symbolization of the togetherness in a friendship. Lemmi ask you, what’s the first thing that you wanna do when you go travelling with your friends?
Cheesie: Err… take photo lo.
Friend: For me, it’s the thought of lighting up a cig when you walk out from the airport, the hotel… I can’t think of anything else. My mind only functions properly after a few puffs.
Cheesie: Now that you can’t smoke, what do you do to get rid of the cravings?
Friend: Keep my mouth full! Can’t you see why i keep buying snacks?
Cheesie:*chuckles* Yea i noticed. No wonder people gain weight after they quit smoking?
Friend: Think about it. One ciggie equals to a KitKat bar. Another ciggie equals to one pint of rootbeer. Another is a bag of Chachos…
Cheesie: Cheez. That sucks.
Friend: That’s not all. The worst is, i ask myself this question everyday. “WHY DO I HAVE TO QUIT SMOKING WHEN I CAN SMOKE?”
Cheesie: Erm. Ok, thank you for your time. Lastly, any useful advice for those people who intend to quit smoking?
Friend: Two words. DON’T QUIT. Seriously. Smoking is the best thing happened in my life. Thank you. read more

Only jam.

Jam morning, jam night. Jam afternoon, jam evening. Jam everywhere.

So agonizingingly jammed THEY EVEN SPREAD BANGKOK JAM TO KL.

Dammit now traffic in KL pales in comparison.

Food was good, weather was fantastic, windy cool. But the dreadful jam made me wanna think twice before booking tickets to Bangkok again.

Oh ya oh ya, check out this place called Dome at the State Tower in Lebua Hotel.

It is the f*ckingest amazing bar i’ve ever been to. Forget KL Tower. Forget Skybar. Forget Luna Bar. read more