Junya turns 22 months today. ^^
(Also read 1st month , 2nd month , 3rd month , 4th month , 5th month , 6th month , 7th month, 8th month, 9th month , 10th month , 11th month , 12th month , 13th month , 14th month , 15th month , 16th month , 17th month , 18th months , 19th month , 20th month and 21st month here.)
JunJun Must Do Everything
“JunJun Does Everything” started the previous month, but this month he made sure that he has to be the one who does everything, with no interference whatsoever.
Last month it was “JunJun squeeze” (peanut butter), but this time around it was “JunJun squeeze. Dowan mama. Mama go out. Bye bye.”
He also insisted holding his own cup/glass/mug and I am not allowed to help him hold in any way. At all.
The first half of 21st month was a nightmare because Junya was a baby again. He woke up at least 2-3 times a night crying for milk. 2am, 4am, 6am. Exactly like a new born, except a newborn who can tell me what he wants.
“I want miruku. I want miruku! Mama make 200 (ml) miruku“.
And he won’t stop until he got his milk. I secretly feared for my life. How long is this phase gonna last?!? If it lasts till the new baby comes out, it will be as if I gave birth to TWINS omg. T__T
It was tough to wake up every 2 hours to make milk but that wasn’t the problem. I was more worried about tooth decay because of all the sugar in the middle of the night and no brushing. The danna insisted that the night feeding has to stop, so I let him “cry it out” again like baby time. Very very luckily, it took 3 days (of 45 minutes of tears and hand-pulling “mama make milk!!!” and massive heartaches) and now he sleeps through again.
We travelled to Singapore for a short stay, which means that he had to skip school. Now his schedule is all messed up again. In the morning he plays with me and he usually only sleep 1 or 2pm, and sometimes he just dozes off during lunch lol.
But these few days he’s been napping 3 hours (longest 4 hours!!!) in a row, which is why I have time to write this blog post lolol.
He knows exactly what he wants…. Or not.
I used to let him have options to make things easier but nowadays it just becomes a headache -_-. During teeth-brushing time, I’ll fetch him the toothbrush, and he’ll be like “no, dowan pink. I want blue.” When I exchange the blue one for him, he will be like “no, dowan blue. I want pink.” And laughs.
*repeats 5 times*
Tooth brushes are ok. I mean, you just have to make like 15 extra trips to the bathroom. The real pain is when you make him milk. “No, dowan cold. I want warm.” And when you heat it up, “no, dowan warm.”
Oh, it has started.
*Points at random stranger* “Who dat??? Who dat???”
*Points at every single random object* “Who dat??? Who dat???”
I Don’t Mind
He’s not very good at cutleries yet, and sometimes eating with hands is so much more efficient. Every time I encourage him to pick up the spoon and fork and explain to him that “it’s messy eating with hands” (soup pasta with fingers, anyone?!?), and he shakes his head, looks at me innocently and says…
“I don’t mind.”
Random lectures he gives me at 21 months old:
“Rubbish don’t touch. Because kitanai (dirty).” while shaking his head vigorously.
“Scissors be careful. Because dangerous.“while shaking his head vigorously with a concerned look for his mama.
Mama asks: “Who does mama love?”
“Who does JunJun love?”
Now that he needs to spend more time on his own while his mom is doing all the mundane chores, I have also upgraded his toy collections. He loves miniature toys, especially food stuff which he can make stories with!
He looooooooves his Gudetama Rement breakfast set.
Recently I got him his first Sylvanian Families collection. We both have lots of fun playing, although I must admit I’m probably more obsessed than him with the collection lolol.
“Happy Birthday To Mama”
JunJun celebrated mama’s birthday with bday songs and kisses ^^
Due date is one month away and I am still traveling non-stop (don’t tell my gynae!!). Many of my readers were absolutely right with their comments – that it is really a psychological barrier that a mother thinks that she needs a helper, and let people around her convince that she needs one. Just forget that it is even an option.
Honestly when I was used to having one, I was absolutely horrified to imagine a life without one, and think that I would probably suffer nervous breakdowns and my life would be miserable. But now that I have done without for over a month, I wondered why I had one in the first place (I still think that it was one of the worst decisions I’ve made, but it’s okay, we always learn! Never try, never know!).
The house isn’t as messy as I thought it would be. The cleaning up doesn’t take as long as I think it would. Yeap sometimes you have to heat up frozen food for dinner. Sometimes your son demands to have a diaper change while you are half way washing the dishes and have a million things to pick up from the floor.
But my life isn’t miserable at all.
I get frustrated that things keep getting messed up after I put them back into place. But the frustration lasts only like, 10 seconds, instead of a nagging worry that was constant and lasted forever compared to last time when I lived with a helper. It is very cliched but it is true that when you see your child smiling happily at you, whatever negative emotion just dissipates in an instant.
And the mostestestest important thing is that now I can be 100% sure that he is under my very own care, and that I am 100% responsible for his very wellbeing. And that puts my mind so, so so much at ease.
I am really looking forward to the new challenge of being a mother of 2. Mothers are like Pokemon. We keep leveling up. We are Pokemoms! (If you don’t hear from me for the next couple of months then you know Pokemom K.O. liao lolol.)
All the best!
When I cook food that freezable, i always cook more. Bolognese, pumpkin soups, stews and even marinated meats (so i can thawed it the night before for the following day). I love Japanese grocery store. They saved my life with all the convenience and prepacked stuff.
Look forward to read any posts you can produce, when you can. 🙂
hey cheesie..you blogpost made me think alot..thr’s no right or wrong for a mum hiring a maid..it all depends on own preference and if one could afford one..
BUT I WOULD JUST LIKE TO RANT HERE..AND I REALLY APPRECIATE if anyone..or cheesie could at least advise me if i am being too ‘princess’ or i am just stucked in my own brain or let me know that i am not alone..
i’m a malaysian, my son is 13 mths old. i am a working mum since my son was 6 mths old. i went thru all the weaning, seperation anxiety, and difficulties to fit in full time job at the beginning due to missing my son too much , every moment i spent working in front of PC MADE ME THINK THAT I WAS WASTING MY TIME missing out the precious moment i can spend with my child..and when my child is sick i had to take emergency leave which is dislike by most employer even if they understand..work still has to be done..right? putting myself in employer’s shoes..u cant be absent from work , yes i know ur child is sick but i pay you right..and now the job are undone and i had to get someone to replace u if you are always like that (STRESS R THERE)
since i started working full time.I GOT SO TIRED. I GOT HEADACHE AND BODYACHE and it got so bad that i went to specialist and found out that i had slipped disc that caused all my pain..
MY mil is taking care of my child, yes i know i am very lucky . I AM GRATEFUL that i have family members helping out..i had to let me child sleep overnight at my mil place sometimes because of the distance, full time work requires you to report to work at 8am ,and sometimes OT till 8 or 9pm. bringing my child back home doesn’t make sense in this way.
BUT I FEEL SO BAD.
AND ALSO RELIEVED that my child is not at the child care that i have to pick him up on time at 6pm.
BUT I FEEL BAD AGAIN.
i want to watch him sleep. i want to hold him and see him every single day.
BUT i am so tired.
my house is a messed.
i have no time to clean up the house.
i have tried my very best. but it doesnt last long, after 2 days i have to redo, yeah its like that..i have to do laundry,i want to cook dinner for the sake of our health(my husband has health issues) but we fight over multiple times for the dishes,he would say he will wash it and leave the dishes there until midnight and if i ignore it the dishes will be there for 3 days and stink. so end up i am the one buy groceries, cook, and washing dishes. i just couldnt manage it. and i got furious sometimes.
and the toilet is so dirty, the moment i clean up..the second day i would see shit stain on it which my husband doesnt give a fuck
and the floor is always sticky, i cant let my child crawl on this sticky floor, so i have to limit his space when i really had no time to clean the place when he is back.
so during weekdays , when i am depressed by missing my child and doing the household, i still cant see my child.
MEANWHILE, i am that kind of woman who regardless how tired i am, i NEED TO LOOK GOOD. i NEED TO DRESS APPROPRIATELY AND MAKE UP so when i fail to do that i get abit upset but that’s ok not a big deal ,just matters abit..
and WHAT IS BEST IS,
my husband told me that HE DOESNT LOVE ME ANYMORE and he wanted to SEPERATE WITH ME at this moment.I AM GOING TO BE MENTALLY break down.
his reason is PLAIN WEIRD.
he think that i am a person who doesnt agree with him all the time, for example i might think a KIA K5 Looks better than MAZDA6 while he thinks opposite. another example I don’t buy his idea of small little things. and i always complain about him for small stuff. AND YES I AM SENSITIVE.
ok over the past few months i have apologized to him telling him that i would change but now he is saying that he don’t see a change and he is not HAPPY.
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON, we have been like this for past 10 years!! and i have just became a better person compare to 10 yrs back I SWEAR.
the things he said doesnt make sense. i GOT LOST and now when i am typing it out i feel CLEARLY THAT SOMETHING IS GOING WRONG WITH HIM.
yeah you would think he might be seeing someone else so he is looking for excuses. BUT ITS NOT i know its not. he is home on time everyday and spend all weekend with us.
but after half a year he still wants a seperation.
I GOT SO STRESSED Out. i quit my job. i just couldnt cope with all these.
I THOUGHT I WAS LOST and didnt know what i want in life.i kept thinking what to do in my career thinking a desk job is not for me which the desk job was something i have achieve for past 10 yrs and i am a qualified professional and now i am like giving up the whole thing because i really can’t cope, my heart is broken and my body is not working. i know something is not right with my body and if i dont treat it it will burst one day , (THIS HAD HAPPENED IN THE PAST AND I WAS ADMITTED ICU and that is when i started to learn to listen to my body and watch out the sign and not just work non stop)
but now when i am typing out again.
I KNOW WHY I FEEL LOST
i have be with this MAN FOR FREAKING 10 years and i had pregnant for him TWICE.
WHY WOULD I NOT BE LOST?!
I have no idea how to move on now.
in fact i have started to think of the worst , if we divorced obviously i would want to be my child’s guardian but now i have lost my job. i dont know.
and i dont DARE TO think of my future.
I AM A LOVEBIRD girl i need alot of LOVE i cant survived without LOVE and companion.
YES you can judge me.
but the idea of raising up my child alone..going thru his birthday and other festive season without a father made my HEARTACHE SO BADLY.
SORRY this doesnt seem to be right to be here..but i just needed someone to listen to me.
I COULDNT TELL ANY FRIEND, I DONT KNOW ..HELP ME
or if thr’s anyone know if there’s any marriage counsellor in malaysia or good legal advisor….pls let me know……….
i would do anything i can to save this marriage but I WANT A RESPECTFUL marriage, not the current way he is treating me.
the way he is treating me now is like : I AM LIKE THIS, I AM AN ASSHOLE LIKE THIS , LEAVE IF U CANT TAKE IT or STAY AND ACCEPT IT
and when i asked him what is his problem with me he would say he has mental problem and he is going to die
i asked him to see doctor he refused as expected..GOD I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT AM I DOING…….
I HAVE NEVER EVER EXPRESS ANY OPINION OR POSTED ANYTHING IN THE WEB like this.
the most i have done is click a ‘like’ on FB or ‘doubletab’ instagram .
Hi, feeling any better?
You sound really tired. Really really tired. Maybe your husband feels stressed out too and even kinda depressed. People can be assholes when circumstances aren’t good. It’s always easy to be nice and good when things are OK. Do you still love him? You sound like you’re not feeling much love for him right now yourself (who loves assholes right). It’s hard to connect to that feeling when you’re burnt out and distressed. You guys are probably talking to each other like enemies.
Hope you find your way soon. Meanwhile you said you’ve quit your job. You could theoretically have time to make your house tidier and nicer to live in. But you feel like shit right now I wouldn’t judge if you were to get part time cleaners to help out, if you want to. A tidy, non-chaotic space does make a difference to your psyche. You might start to feel better and see things in a better light? Yeah maybe you could forget about your husband being an asshole for now and focus on clearing up your space and getting back to feeling alright with yourself. There’s so much regret and guilt over yourself as a mother and over your career. Why not work on your peace first… your husband will still hang around for now what. It’s very easy to say wanna separate, but divorce is a lot of work (and cost money) he’d probably stick around. If he really separate from you, it takes a long time before divorce can happen. While he’s separated，enjoy having less dishes to wash and no one to irritate you. Hope you feel good enough about yourself to get back on your feet and plan on reemployment and childcare. Though if you feel that good about yourself he might be inspired to feel alright too. I don’t know. Just a random stranger, making assumptions not really knowing you guys.
Dear, I’m another random Cheesie’ reader here and wanna share my experience to you.
I was a single mother. I divorced my ex-husband when my baby girl was only 6 months old, I was only 23 back then, and, unemployed! I found out my ex’s cheating on me during my confinement period, which was like only 10ish days after I gave birth my daughter. Thing was being so obvious that he had been unfaithful already even when the baby was in my belly. I was so struggle, this guy broke my heart into pieces, I wanna left him but, my poor little girl was going to grow up with father’s absence. My mil was on my side and cried many times to beg me not to leave her son. My father was angry and asked me to give up custody so my ex could do the father job. My ex promised me he would broke up with the 小三, I trusted him, but 3 months later, I found out he went to Thailand with the 小三 for “honeymoon”, and I was home alone to deal with a grumpy baby with endless crying. Hence, I made up my mind to divorce him, and back to the beginner I became a single mother, and I was unemployed. I entreated my parents to accept my daughter so that I can find a job and raise my daughter on my own. My mother, the most amazing woman in the world, I knew she was heart-broken, she chose to work this thing out with her daughter!! Thank you mother! I owe you too too much!! Recollected those days, they were all in dark colour to me. I only remember I prayed for my parents and my baby girl by transcribing Buddhist scriptures.
Now the past was in the past. I thought that I would be 孤独终老 but I met an amazing man when my daughter was only 1.5 years old, and now the Mr. Right is Mr. Husband. (Must make it clear that he never marry before, and he’s only 6 yrs older than me)
I’m not encouraging you to divoce your husband by sharing my exprince, but I just wanna tell you that being a single mother was not a shame and you WILL find your love. Dear, things will be alright,sometimes that mountain you’ve been climbing is just a grain of sand.
Hi wanting, I can’t be sure 100% about the real situation and can only judge from what you have written here, and I also assume that you are really emotional when you wrote this. But from what you have told us your husband clearly isn’t trying to work things out with you (unless he agrees to get treatment or see a counsellor), but it may also be that he is under tremendous stress just like you too.
Either way, I agree with Savvybaby that you should first get part time helper to give your house a thorough cleaning, because a clean house will really put your mind at ease, and so your baby can crawl around safely again.
Secondly if you really end up separating with your husband, maybe you can get back to your job, because after all you have been working for so long. You can send your baby to daycare like what Cheesie does, and then you still have time to be with her during weekend and also night time.
Do you have parents who can help you out too? If yes that would be a great bonus. Anyway I do think that most of your stress stem from an unsupportive husband (whatever reason he has). So it is best to work out from there. Other issues could be sorted out one by one. Good luck and please update us on how you are doing!!
Just want to tell you that there is a Japanese fresh food section in the groceries department in Big Box. Apparently the prices are a lot lower compared to Isetan, Mediya, etc. Big Box is like an outlet mall in Jurong.
Your heartfelt posts makes me feel so proud of you!! Im so happy to hear that you are coping well!! You are super brave and a power mama!!!! Rock on, level x99999 pokemon mama!! Buahhaha!! Jiayou!!
p/s: and you look gorgeous!
ROCK ON!!! ^_^