Junya turns 2 years 2 month old today, and Sakura is 3 months old now.

Here’s the regular monthly update!

For Junya

(Also read Junya’s  1st month , 2nd month , 3rd month , 4th month , 5th month , 6th month , 7th month,  8th month, 9th month , 10th month , 11th month , 12th month , 13th month , 14th month , 15th month , 16th month , 17th month , 18th months , 19th month , 20th month ,21st month , 22nd month , 23rd month , 24th month and 25th month here.)

Dowan Bae Sakura

JunJun is still like “dowan bae Sakura” all the time, in a whiney voice pulling the edge of my shirt. But say only. Actually he really does like her a lot.

He just doesn’t like me when both my hands are full with just Sakura and zero hand for him haha.

“Mama hug JunJun!!!!”

Sigh. I think every mother should just grow one new arm each time she gives birth. I’m serious.

Blue Adidas Red Stripes

Junya can wear his own shoes!! It amazes me how he has 50% of getting it right (right shoe for the right foot), or left, (I’m not so good with this accidental pun thing anymore), YET he gets it wrong 90% of the time. How?!

After talking to a few mothers, they confirmed with me that children just have this special talent to wear the wrong shoe on the wrong foot. Awesome.

One day I was out with Junya to Saizeriya with a mama friend, and the two girls who sat on the next table were very amused by Junya so they kept each others entertained. One girl pointed to his shoe and asked “what is this?” and he answered “blue adidas shoes.” And the girl gave me a very shocked look and kept saying OMG HE IS SOOOO SMART!? (She thinks that usually a 25 month old would just answer “shoe”) And I was like haha that’s just cuz he memorized it as such.

So just for amusement I tried to get him to say “blue adidas shoes with red stripes”, and no matter how many attempts, he is still saying “blue adidas red stripes” LOLOL forever missing “shoe with”.

I Want Pee Pee

I gave up toilet training long ago. -_- I’m just gonna keep to the logic that no university students wear diapers to school so eventually it will be okay!!!

Buuuut recently I downloaded this Japanese toilet training app (really wan. Got such thing.), and each time a child successfully pee/poop, the anime character cheers dramatically you can give your child a digital stamp.

Junya did it once and he was so fascinated (and proud of himself haha) that now he keep saying “I want pee pee.” ALL. THE. TIME. when he doesn’t really want to. -_-. This mother 真的是自己拿苦来辛 lolol.

JunJun says

“Papa happy mama happy baby Sakura happy minna (everybody) happy.”

“Papa fly in the sky mama fly in the sky JunJun go Japan airline“. (Wa wa wa summore can rhyme leh my son lol.)

“I want milk. Just now only cookie just now.”

(looking out the car window while we passed by some construction site) “Bye bye excavator. Bye bye another excavator.” *waves*

“Member? Member? (remember?) Mimi close, and then cannot drink. Coconut tree the sivi femi.” (?!)

Junya: “Superman!!! Superman!!!”
Mama: “Where?”
Junya: “There! There.”
Mama: “Huh.”

This was what I saw. A construction man at work at the balcony on a very high floor.

This man risks his life to build a beautiful home for some of us. To us adults, he is just a Bangla construction worker. To a child, he is superman. #ThingsIAccidentallyLearnFromMyToddler. Touché, my son, touché. Tonight I repent.

For Sakura

Honestly, I feel really bad. I have so little picture of Sakura compared to what I have of Junya. The wall of our KL home was full of printed pictures of Junya as a baby. Partly because she is having ultra sensitive skin and she almost never has smooth baby skin for a perfect baby selfie. Mostly because I shit also no time.

Separation Anxiety…?

Huh. At two months old?

Nobody else can carry her when she is upset. I thought baby will only 认人 at about 5 months old? Junya only got clingy to me at 6 months. But this Sakura. When she cries, the only way to pacify her is when she is back in my arms. No pacifier. No being carried by papa or anyone else. No nothing.

Nap Monster VS Sleep Angel

She is such a poor napper. T__T She must be rocked to sleep in my (read: MY. No one else.) arms and can only sleep on her tummy. If she sleeps on her back, confirm wakes up crying after 3 mins and I have to repeat the rocking her back to sleep infinite times T__T.

And I don’t even have the time to sleep-train her. Most of the time I just strap her to myself and walk around or just do this until she falls asleep:

But when it comes to proper night time sleep she does sleep like an angel. I don’t know how angels sleep but I couldn’t really say she sleeps like a baby. I mean, babies are the worst sleepers.

So yea, maybe it is because I sleep right next to her, we both sleep peacefully the whole night.

Smile

When Sakura was 9 weeks old the danna casually commented that she is less expressive than Junya. The mother in me immediately felt alarmed and some quick googling freaked me out. Indeed when I thought about it, I could hardly recall her smiling. At most I just saw a few fleeting grin-like expressions.

The internet is a scary world. Of course I recalled reading about lack of smile being signs of early autism, etc. Part was me was anxious as hell and part of me just wanted myself to calm the cheese down.

Very rarely, but she does smile these days, and I almost forgot how happy it feels, to see a baby smile.

Allergy

Few days ago she had an allergy reaction and broke out in hives that comes on and off. We are still finding out the cause. 🙁

Please get well soon so we can have more pretty selfies. <3

For Mama

Two moms four babies

First outing alone with Cheesiepetits in Singapore. With my PokeMom friend Carol who also has two Carolpetits. Her second baby girl is one day younger than Sakura. Two moms, 4 babies. That’s all sort of crazies hahaha.

Dinner with my other PokeMom friend, Qiu and her family. Somehow this picture looks more havoc hahaha.

PokeMomGo

Yeap. Here we go again. KL-SG-JP-SG-KL….

And then…

PokeMomGo. For real.

I also realized many things in the past month.

1. Dilemma of choosing your priority

Cook breakfast first or air the laundry first? If air the laundry now then Junya may have to wait in hunger if he wakes up early. But if I don’t air the laundry now later the sun might not be out anymore (and I hate hate hate laundry with a stale smell). Do I send Junya to school so I can have some free time to do work or do I turn down work so I can spend more time with him? Should l feed myself first or the kids first? (Oxygen mask theory?)

2. A mother lives with guilt every day. And it is part of motherhood. 

I don’t know about others, but I do. To deal with the guilt after choosing my priority. To struggle to balance my love and attention for both children. To hold one just to have another crying. To leave one screaming just to pacify another. To hug both and procrastinate work.

I realized that Sakura might have not smiled much because I did not spend enough time with her, cooing to her and showing her how to smile. Because when I started to do that, she smiled and cooed back. I felt a pang of heavy guilt that stabbed my like a blunt knife. All these while I just wanted her to hurry up and go to sleep so that I could get some goddamn work done. Time is so precious. But I forgot time to just watch your daughter smile, is even more precious. I accept how I feel, and I forgive myself for feeling that way.

3. Enjoy your cookie while you can.

One day I finally had some time to reward myself with a snack. I broke out a cookie and then I stuffed the whole damn thing in my mouth so that I can have another hand free to do the dishes.

I never knew to appreciate eating a cookie slowly, one small bite by one small bite, until I have two children.

Honestly guys, have some gratitude for single-handed-cookie-eating.

4. You break down. And that’s okay.

And another day I just totally broke down. I was having gastric and diarrhoea. Sakura was crying. Junya was throwing a fit for whatever I didn’t allow him to do at that time. And then I lost my cool with him. And then I hated myself for screaming at him.

But it happens. As much as I try not to let it happen, sometimes it happens. And that’s okay, as long as we end a day pleasantly, with love. That night, I said sorry to Junya and told him that I love him very much. He said, “I love mama.”

So it is okay.

5. I am also only 26 months old. As a mother. As long as I feed, bathe and put my children to bed today and tell them I love them, I have done enough and I will consider myself a good mother and give myself a pat on the shoulder.