YO I AM BACK!!!
With full force! And more! Hahaha.
Many people ask me how I balance my work, family, personal time, social life, etc. I say, WHAT BALANCE? Actually, F balance. There’s no such thing as balance. You just do it until you cannot, then go batshit crazy for a while, and then come back again stronger. That’s how you do it.
Anyway, all my batshit has been relieved. I am back now. Better and stronger.
There are also many people I want to thank for picking me up when I fell face-flat on that bird diarrhoea, thank you, you , you and you (I’m just gonna make it very vague in case I forget someone from the credit roll and they think I’m ungrateful hahaha. You know how it’s like).
Here’s what happen with Cheesiepetits the past month!
(Thank goodness for Adachi Sensei’s teeth fixing skill.)
Read Junya’s 1st month , 2nd month , 3rd month , 4th month , 5th month , 6th month , 7th month, 8th month, 9th month , 10th month , 11th month , 12th month , 13th month , 14th month , 15th month , 16th month , 17th month , 18th months , 19th month , 20th month ,21st month , 22nd month , 23rd month , 24th month , 25th month , 26th month , 27th month , 28th month , 29th month , 30th month , 31st month , 32nd month , 33rd month , 34th month , 35th month , 36th month , 37th month , 38th month , 39th month , 40th month , 41st month , 42nd month , 43rd month , 44th month , 45th month , 46th month , 47th month and 48 months here.
For some reason, for many months now, Junya has been talking like he has a marble in his mouth, especially when he’s shy to articulate something, or trying to manja me. I don’t know how to put it in words, but if you put your tongue in the middle touching the roof of your mouth all the time and try speaking, that’s how Junya’s speech all sounds like. -_-
I think he loves the role of being an elder brother. It gives him the privilege to show off that he is better, more mature and more reliable than his younger sister. And I think he needed this confidence boost since s0 much attention has been taken away from him for the past 2 years now.
He loves to help put on socks for his little sister, pull on her diaper for her, fetch her things that she can’t reach with her height, while feeling superior about it haha. But I notice that it is also not just all about ego-boosting and seeking praises. The best thing I’ve noticed is that he’s playing at Sakura’s pace. Their age gap is merely 2, but I know for sure that a 4-year-old child and a just-turned-2 toddler play very differently. Yet he adjusts to her level without bossing her around, many times I see how patient he is waiting for her sister to complete a task with her less advanced motor skills.
And that’s when I felt that he has truly accepted his role as a big brother. I’m so jealous. I want one for myself too.
I can entrust him to perform and follow through a chore completely and correctly now most of the time. And he’s eager to help too (for nowwww), that’s the best part.
Taking out trash into the dump chute, putting his food tray back to the sink each time after a meal, filling the bathtub with water of perfect temperature, walking Champon reliably when we are back to KL (with me following behind)… etc. Less intentional or unintentional mistakes are made. Although every time he tries to open a packet of snack (peanuts on the airplane, arghhhhH!), the content still shoots and flies all over the place like a yummy, edible fireworks lolol.
(Walk the doge.)
(Pick up dog poop.)
(Sister passes wet laundry for niinii to be put into dryer)
But honestly I’m really impressed. If this continues to happen, soon I can retire as a housewife and start enjoying my second life hahaha.
Angel VS Devil
Just a while ago, I guiltily confessed how I had secretly favored one kid more. And it was my younger child. Whatever she did seemed angelic. And whatever the older child did, was a nuisance. But I tried not beating myself up about it, because I knew that it was going to be a phase.
And it was.
Last month, the roles have been reversed.
It was also super timely because Sakura has just turned 2 (Terrible Two, anyone?), and Junya has finally entered the Fabulous Four. I have heard many senpai mommy telling me that 4 is the bestest age ever, before they transform back into little devils again as they start to discover the convenience of lying, manipulation, sarcasm, and all sorts of bad stuff dreadful to even adults… and it’s a whole new stressful years to come. Ok I don’t want to know about it for now, just gimme some peace while I swoon over my angelic 4-year-old. For now.
Anyway. Junya is almost angelic. As soon as he turned 4. It’s like these kids come with a updatable software like your iOs. Sometimes an upgrade F things up all over, and sometimes you get kickass features that make your life all rainbow cupcake unicorns.
I think I just got myself a real stunning upgrade. Suddenly he is willingly helping out with house chores, taking care of his sister especially when I am away (according to the danna), holding his sister’s hand, and even trying to solve her tantrums while neither me and the danna could. Omg he’s not even an angel he’s like our savior now lol.
One night I was so exhausted trying to get Sakura to go to bed, and Junya dished out two full boxes of Tangram puzzles, laying all the cards alllll overrrrr the floooooor like he’s making a carpet made of paper omg. I was a little mad because it was way past his bed time and he was actually very, very sleepy. To think that I have to clean up this mess after coaxing both to bed feeling like zombie was irritating the hell out of me. But my priority was to put a toddler in tantrum to bed.
15 minutes later, Sakura finally fell asleep. And I found Junya dozed off in bed too. I was ready to clean up the floor. But I found nothing. Not even the boxes. I went into the toy room, and stacked on the floor were two perfectly neat, organized Tangram puzzle boxes. (And I know it takes a long time to fit those puzzle blocks back into the box!)
Tonight I met an angel.
Read Sakura’s 1st month, 2nd month , 3rd month , 4th month , 5th month , 6th month , 7th month , 8th month , 9th month , 10th month , 11th month , 12th month , 13th month , 14th month , 15th month , 16th month , 17th month , 18th month , 19th month , 20th month , 21st month , 22nd month , 23rd month , 24th month and 25th month here.
Well well well. The dreadful moment when your blows two candles off your child’s birthday cake.
But honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would have been. (yet.)
With Junya it was really obvious. And sudden. One of the biggest reasons was the arrival of a new baby in the house, of course. He turned exactly two on his sister’s full moon and he was all devastated, shocked, confused, perhaps even feeling unloved.
With Sakura, nothing has ever changed. Except maybe her brother growning kinder and more understanding towards her. Her tantrum is really minimal and mild, I am not sure if it is a girl thing or a second child thing? She sulks mostly, but I haven’t experienced a hysterical episode in public. (yet.)
Most of her frustration comes from us not understanding what she’s trying to express. (“cheechu.” “what? cheechu? see through? see shoe? oh. Tissue. Ok ok.”) Other than that she is mostly ok, and still easily distractible with a little mommy skill.
Omg. Her brother is like her rival BUT also her super idol. Everything she says is 100% copy niinii wan. It’s worse when she copies us. It irritates the hell out of Junya lol. Example:
Mama: Junya, clean up the toys.
Sakura: Jeenya, keenap doi!!
Junya: OKAAAAAY!!! SAKURA YOU DON’T FOLLOW MAMA!!
Sakura: You don fowow mama?
This one is driving me crazy. She always thinks that there’s hair in her mouth!!!!! And it’s all her own imagination ok. She’d look all disgusted and be like “mama mama mama mama!! hair! hair! hair!” and frantically trying to dig an imaginary hair out of her tongue.
Once I sprinkled some katsuobushi (bonito flakes) on her onigiri and she spat the whole thing out complaining, hair, hair hair! Dude. It is katsuofreakingbushi, ok. Get over it.
And then another time she did the same with chicken fiber. You know the stringy bits stuck between your teeth after chewing on chicken breast? No more Karaage for you, ok.
Other than hair in mouth, she is also super particular about dropped hair to the point I suspect she is abit OCD. “Mama, hair!”, says this 2-year-old girl, gesturing to one single hair strand laying on the floor of Meijiya supermarket, restaurants… public bathrooms…
Err, thanks for pointing that out. But i’m not a charity cleaner, ok?
Eat Hard no Eat Soft
Haha literally 吃硬不吃软 in Chinese.
Junya is the 100% soft approach kind of boy. He will never ever bend at any amount of scolding, threatening, even punishment. Only soft-talking or a heart-wrenching amount of emotional tug of war works.
But there’s no use being soft to this girl. You need to give her some 颜色 to see lol and she’ll back down immediately. This makes things a lot easier. “You don’t stop crying and I’m gonna get very very upset.” in a stern, borderline scary voice will shut her up instantly lol. But I’m also trying not to abuse this power la. It’s given to me too conveniently so actually I’m also very afraid that I’ll run out of stock very soon haha.
She’s also much more realistic, in the sense that when you try to talk some logic with her. Damn, I’m also abusing this one. “You don’t wanna brush? You want baikin (bacteria) to stay on your teeth??” in a firm, borderline creepy tone will make her go all pale.
“Dowan. I dowan.” and then she will guai guai open her mouth and brush her teeth.
Last time with Junya, none of these scary tales works. At all. You know what he’d say?
“I want!! I want baikin to come! I want mushiba (tooth decay).” with a big smile full of oreo crumbs.
Weaning – Final episode (I hope.)
I have finally (really finally this time.) (I hope.) weaned her off. For two weeks now.
When I announced this on IG story soooooo many struggling mommies asked me for tips.
Unfortunately I really think each child is so different when it comes to this touchy topic of oppai, I know many mommies tried my weaning method with Junya and totally didn’t work for them. (Sorry!)
What happened was this:
For a couple of months before she turned two, I tried my best to reduce oppai time to the very minimum. She asked to latch when we reached home from her school. I think she really just missed me a lot after a whole day away from mama. Then night time she woke up maaaaannnnnnny times mumbling “oppai, ah wan oppai…”. So I have decided that something needed to be done. Firstly, she’s really not hungry at all. She just thought I’m her pacifier. She just needed to know that I was there. So I’ll start with reducing latching time.
I told her, “count of 10, ok?”
“um.” she agreed.
And then I started counting, “one… two… three…” until ten. Then she unlatched and turned around to sleep again. That was a huge success to me.
And then I was away from her for 4 days. Knowing that papa has no oppai, she happily just settled for hugs.
With Junya I successfully weaned him this way, by simply just being away from him for 3 days. When I came back, he has completely forgotten about boobs.
But I was wrong this time. The moment I returned from my midnight flight and crept into bed at 6am, she smelled me, half-awake and moaned, “mama, oppai… oppai.” like a drug addict. I gave in to her omg.
But that’s how I made mistaken OVER and OVER AGAIN. That’s the reason why she is still on oppai at 25 months!
So I decided that this is it for real. I really want to start sipping that fancy champagne again and be able to pop a flu pill or two when I’m half dead from virus, you know???
And I have decided that at this age, she is old enough to vaguely understand why she has to graduate from oppai. So I did not resort to all the popularly weird methods from senpai mama such as drawing scary face with marker on your boobs, or spreading chili paste or wasabi on nipple what the. Haha.
I simply told her, “Sakura, tonight there will not be anymore oppai. Because you are a big girl now. You can have milk. You can have hugs and kisses. But no more oppai. Ok?” She said ok. (say only la. confirm cheat one lol).
That night, she cried and cried and cried. I had the danna to help me to comfort her because I know the moment I’m near her she will frantically tear my shirt off lol. But she rejected the danna completely and just sat there alone, crying for 30 minutes, until I really cannot tahan and I asked her in an intimidating, borderline hair-raising tone, “Sakura, you want oppai?” She said yes. “No more oppai. If you stop crying, I hug you.”
Immediately she said yes. And stopped crying.
I hugged her. She didn’t tear off my shirt. She just held me and fell asleep.
That was it.
The second night she woke up crying. I told her “Just hugs, ok?” She said yes.
And the third night. And fourth. She still wakes. But I only need to hold her.
Two weeks later. Nowadays I like to tease her sometimes, “you want oppai?” with an evil face lol. She will say, “No. No more oppai, ne?” staring at me doe-eyed.
I have two angels now.
My life is perfect for now.
Except I’m also quite sentimental about it (I even took photos of her last nursing session omg has any one of you mommy done that before lol) but ok nvm think about all the booze I can have now!! 😀
Welcome (fully) back, Cheesie! Missed your posts! I can’t believe Junya is four years old now. Has it really been four years? Time flies! 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
Yes it has!! So crazy right!
Thanks for sharing your experience on weaning Sakura 🌸. I am having a hard time trying to wean off my 22 months son right now. I will try the hugging technique..appreciate your detailed posting on this! Stay cool as much as mama for two can 😎
Thanks for trying and good luck! ^^
Long time.. missed your post…. good sharing.